


Stripped Heart

by pandorasxbox



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Broken Promises, Drunken Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Lapdance, Light Angst, Loneliness, Love Confessions, M/M, Masturbation, Mental Instability, Misunderstandings, Neighbors, Ori and Nori are cousins, Promises, Sex, Stalking, Strip Tease, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Trust, Understanding, Voyeurism, fili and kili are not related, stripper Fili
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-07-26 11:33:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 46,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7572580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorasxbox/pseuds/pandorasxbox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Fili Durin’s most recent breakup, he moves back to his hometown for a fresh start. He had come to accept the fact, he would never have a lasting relationship with anyone due to his chosen career as a professional male stripper, and had no desire to try again wanting to remain carefree and single.</p><p>Thinking nothing of it, Fili casually sleeps with his neighbor, Kili a few times. Unfortunately, Kili believes and wants there to be much more between them than being just friends, no matter how much Fili struggles to convince him and himself otherwise, but Kili will stop at nothing to win his heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nice to Meet You

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for anyone with triggers concerning stalkers. Kili will have some stalkerish behavior with Fili. He never wishes to do harm to anyone including himself, but he may be watching or following Fili without his knowledge or consent. Just wanted you to be warned if this behavior is something you need to avoid, please skip this fic!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own these Tolkien/Jackson characters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili moves into his new house, and meets his neighbor, Kili.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was inspired by two songs by Zayn: "wRoNg" and "TiO"

Outside his window, the sound of slamming car doors, and the beeping of a moving truck backing up woke Kili from an erotic dream. The sleepy brunet groaned and rolled over trying to hide under the covers after he saw the bright white digital numbers of his cell phone mocking him. 6:30a.m. _‘Why would anybody be awake at this hour on a Saturday morning?’_

Kili wouldn’t deny he wasn’t a morning person by any means, and regarded those who were energized by that blinding ball of fire peeking over the horizon anytime before 8a.m. as annoying, perky bastards. 

From the sounds the grumpy brunet was hearing, he didn’t have to get out of bed to know what was going on out there. Recently, someone had bought the house next door to his, and they must have been moving in today.

Kili's patience was being tested with every passing minute, focusing on the voices and the banging around was making it impossible to get back to sleep now. 

Someone must have dropped something heavy, and the loud clanging thud against the metal truck ramp rattled his last nerve. 

“Seriously?” A growl escaped his throat as the noise was enough to force him out of bed, and throw open the window. 

He saw two tall men carrying a sofa into the house followed by a shorter, but very muscular man with long blond curls tied in a high pony atop his head, carrying what appeared to be a very heavy box.

“Hey!" Kili yelled. "Keep it down over there, will ya?! Some of us are still trying to sleep around here!” He snapped, rubbing his bloodshot eyes.

The blond stopped, and looked around to find where the voice came from. When he saw his neighbor, Kili hanging out of his upstairs window, he tried to greet him a friendly smile realizing they were being a bit noisy.

“Sorry! We’ll try to keep it down!” Fili held his smile while forcing himself to refrain from making a sarcastic remark. _'Wow, what a dick!’_

The blond man was unexpectedly attractive, and seeing his cute dimples when he smiled, lessened Kili’s impulsive anger realizing he wasn’t making a very good first impression on his new neighbors.

“It’s cool. Sorry. I haven’t had much sleep.” Without waiting for a reply, Kili shut the window and crawled back into bed, though now he really couldn’t sleep thinking about the blond. 

Tossing and turning, falling asleep again was obviously out of the question now. So after a quick shower, Kili made a pot of coffee, and as he was pouring a mug for himself, he thought about the men working hard next door moving the new homeowner in. He grabbed a few more travel mugs, and emptied the coffee pot. It was the least he could do to apologize to the blond for being so rude.

Carefully carrying the four travel mugs by their handles, Kili approached the first man he saw returning to the truck to fetch another load.

“Hey! Are you the new homeowner?” Kili asked unsure of who was who just yet.

The tall man with shoulder length dark hair turned toward him and grinned, pointing at the blond coming off the front porch that Kili yelled at earlier. 

“No, he is. That's Fili. I’m Bard.”

 _'Fili!’_ He had a name now. “Ahh! Well, good to meet you, Bard! I’m Kili. I live next door.” Kili reached out a hand holding two coffee mugs. “Would you like some coffee?”

“Sure! Thanks!” Bard took both offered mugs to hand one to Fili who had joined them. “This is your new neighbor, Fee.”

Fili took the mug, and smiled much to Kili’s delight to see his adorable smile and dimples were even more inviting up close, not to mention the tattoos wrapping around those thick muscular arms of his. 

“Thank you. I’m Fili, good to meet you!” 

Kili fumbled a bit with the remaining two coffee mugs to shake Fili’s outstretched hand. 

“I’m Kili. Nice to meet you, too! I’m really sorry for being such a prick earlier. I’m not a morning person, and I had a late night.”

Fili shook his head, “No problem. Sorry we woke you.”

Just then the third man walked out of the house to join the others. He was tall, a bit lanky, but Kili could tell by his cut arms, the man was strong and in great shape.

Kili handed the man one of the two mugs he was still holding as Fili made introductions.

“Kili, this is another one of my friends, Nori. Nori this is my new neighbor, Kili.”

Nori took a drink from the mug, and shook Kili’s hand, holding their grip a little longer than necessary. “Nice to meet you, Kili.”

Kili shifted uncomfortably noticing the way the tall man was blatantly checking him out. Trying to ignore the awkwardness, he quickly offered Fili his assistance.

“Do you guys anymore help?”

The new homeowner was appreciative, and readily accepted. “Yeah! That’d be great! Thanks!”

With the extra help, by late afternoon the cars and moving truck were unloaded in no time. When Fili offered to buy a pizza and some beer as a small token of thanks to his friends, Nori reminded him he had to leave for work.

Bard almost agreed to stick around, but he had noticed the chemistry forming between the two neighbors throughout the day, and decided to leave as well feeling like a third wheel.

“Thanks, Fee, but I’m pretty exhausted and I’m leaving town early tomorrow to go visit my mother. I’ll see you at work on Monday?”

Fili nodded, “Yeah. Thanks again for all your help! I couldn’t have done all this myself.”

With Bard gone, Kili sat on the couch watching Fili maneuver around the many boxes strewn about the cluttered living room looking for his keys.

“You’re lucky to have such good friends to help you like this.”

“Yeah. They’ve always been there for me no matter what.” 

It was the first time Kili saw Fili’s joyfulness fade as the man continue to search around the many boxes. Maybe there was more to why the blond made a move to this new house, but respectfully realizing they just met, he wouldn't pry.

“Here they are!" Fili lifted his misplaced keys victoriously. "Let’s go pick up that pizza and beer, what’d ya say?”

Kili readily went along for the ride to the restaurant with Fili to pick up their dinner. On the way, Kili noticed his neighbor seemed to know his way around town taking a few side street shortcuts only locals knew of.

“Are you from around here?”

Fili tossed his cigarette out the window, and sort of sighed sadly. “I lived here when I was a kid. That was a long time ago, and my family’s gone now.”

“I’m sorry.” Kili didn’t know, and regretted asking, but he pressed on curiously. “Where did you move from?”

“Greenville.” Fili wasn’t in the mood to play twenty questions, but he knew Kili was just trying to make conversation, and get to know him. “How about you? How long have you lived here? Good neighborhood?”

Suddenly the tables were turned, and Kili was reminded about why he’d moved here. Something he hadn’t thought about it in a long time.

“I like it, it’s nice. I’ve lived here almost a year now.”

Fili pulled the band from his hair letting the flowing curls fall about his shoulders. “You don’t have a roommate either?”

Kili caught the word _either_. He tried to suppress a grin, and took a chance Fili wouldn’t be homophobic, being as real with the blond as he could be. “No. I bought this place for myself after my boyfriend broke up with me last year.”

Surprised by Kili’s candidness, Fili smirked with pleasure. “So you’re gay?”

A wave of regret for being open with Fili so soon washed over the brunet as he stammered a bit. “I-I’m…Bi. Does that bother you?”

“No, not at all. I am too.” Fili pulled into the parking lot of the pizza joint, parked the car, and turned to look Kili in the eye. “It’s refreshing to meet someone that can be so honest about their sexuality up front.” 

“Good.” Was the only word Kili could get past his lips, feeling breathless when his eyes met Fili's crystal blue eyes offset by his long golden curls caught in the waning sunlight framing his bearded face. _'He looks like an angel! How could this man be real?’_

Seeing how serious Kili was staring at him now, Fili snorted with a slight grin. He hated drama, and this conversation was killing his appetite. “Yes! Good! Now we got that out of the way, let’s get our pizza, I’m starving!”

Realizing he was staring, the brunet broke his gaze upon the gorgeous man sitting next to him, and smiled. “Yeah, me too!” 

Watching Fili lead the way inside the restaurant, Kili wasn’t sure what was happening, but he was certain life in the neighborhood just got a little more interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	2. Seeing Clearer Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili comes to terms with his new single life, and Kili is unexpectedly reminded of his painful breakup just before he is pleasantly surprised, and briefly entertained by what he sees through his bedroom window.

Promptly at 8a.m. the next morning, Fili stumbled out of bed tripping over a few boxes, hearing someone knocking on his front door. He was surprised to find a very chipper Kili standing on his doorstep. 

“Good morning, neighbor!” The charming brunet smiled and handed the new homeowner a cup of coffee and a bag of fresh, warm bagels. 

Fili’s eyes were barely open yet, but Kili’s bright smile was contagious. 

“Thanks.” He said taking the bag and drink from him. “I thought you weren’t a morning person, Kee.”

“I figured you might need some help unpacking, so here I am! I mean, that is, if you want help of course.”

How could Fili resist such eagerness? Stepping aside, he let his enthusiastic neighbor in. “Sure. Thanks, I’d like the company.”

They shared the bagels then began working as a team digging into the boxes for hours. Kili unloaded the boxes while Fili put things away where he wanted them, all the while listening to the brunet ramble on about anything and everything that crossed his mind. Then out-of-the-blue, the one dreaded, inevitable question came up. 

“So, where do you work? What do you do for a living?” 

Fili froze in place for a moment. That question always caught him off-guard, not wanting to divulge information concerning his main profession, but at least he didn’t have to lie. 

“Bard and I run our own business. We’re construction workers, and we do a lot of handyman type work. It’s nice because we can pick our jobs, and set our own hours.”

“Oh, well, that’s cool!” Kili pulled a book out of a box, and tossed it for the blond to catch. “I work at my dad's bookstore slash café down in the old village. I'm the manager, so I pretty much set my own hours too.”

“Ahh! I was going to guess you were an artist.” Fili sat the book on the wooden shelf, and gifted the brunet with an adorable smirk.

“I am. An artist. How did…?” Curiously Kili tipped his head. It wasn’t like it was written on his forehead. 

“Stereotype.” The blond shook his head. “There’s something about you, I just knew.” That wasn't totally true. Kili's unruly long raven hair, and sultry hazel eyes reminded him of one of his many ex-boyfriends that just happened to be an artist. 

The artist wasn't offended, but felt the need to clarify his art. “Actually, I’m a photographer.” 

Fili was impressed, and genuinely interested. "Sweet! I'd like to see your work sometime." 

~*~

Late that evening, after Kili had gone home, Fili went to his bedroom to finish putting away some clothing in drawers and closets. There was a familiar blue shirt that caught his eye. Lifting the shirt to his face, the blond closed his eyes, and inhaled the scent of his most recent ex-lover.

"You told me you trusted me." Standing there holding the shirt, his fingers gripped the material so tight his hands began to shake. "Goddammit, Frerin! I thought you were the one!" Tears flooded his eyes, overwhelmed with emotion he'd held inside for weeks since he began the process of buying his new house after their breakup. 

The release of anger, frustration, and heartbreak that had been kept at bay like a swollen dam, finally broke, but it was exactly what Fili needed to ultimately find relief and a sense of peace with himself. "I won't let anyone in again. I can't." The blond threw the shirt in a box for the trash, and stood there, taking a deep cleansing breath to calm down. 

Another hopeful relationship fail, and as far as Fili was concerned, it was the last. He didn't need that drama in his life anymore. 

What he needed was a fresh start to begin his carefree, single life. Here in his new house, he'd already taken the first step. He'd already made a new friend in his next door neighbor, and as outgoing as Fili was, he was certain he'd make even more friends at his new late night second job in no time. 

He turned on some upbeat music to lift his spirits, and dance. Finding his rhythm, he danced through the hallway back toward his bedroom, letting the music guide him. Dancing was second nature to him, and the only thing that could set his soul free. 

*

Across the yards in the bedroom of the house next door, Kili pulled out an old photo album, and lit a cigarette. Settling into the middle of his bed, he began turning the pages, dragging his fingers over them remembering who, when, and where, every detail about the photos he had taken in his teen years so long ago.

Then there was the one misplaced photo that wasn't so old, he wasn't prepared to see. It didn't matter that they had been broken up for a year now. Seeing the man with the long platinum blond hair smiling for the camera with feigned love in those piercing blue eyes set Kili back. 

How could anyone be so selfish, and hurtful to another person, he thought, dredging up painful old memories that led him to this house.

_It was a typical Friday night, when Kili came home from work to find his boyfriend in their bedroom packing quite a few bags. "What're you doing?"_

_Without missing a beat, the blond shoved one last article of clothing into the bag he held, and answered callously, "What's it look like I'm doing? I'm leaving."_

_Panic-stricken, Kili tried to breath, tried to make sense of what he was being told. "But why? What's wrong? Did I do something? Tell me because I don't understand! I thought you loved me!"_

_"You really thought I loved you?" The much older blond's laugh cut through the brunet like a jagged blade. "Love's for pussies! You were a good piece of ass, but I've found somebody better." The man smirked at Kili like it was all a joke to him. "Look at you, like you're going to cry like a bitch or something! God, you're pathetic!"_

_And just like that, the man gathered his things, left their apartment, and Kili never heard from him again._

Those words from someone he'd fallen in love with, and truly cared about hurt more than if he would've gutted him with a knife. _'There's nothing wrong with being in love, so fuck you!'_

Slamming the photo album shut, the trip down memory lane was suddenly cut short. Kili crushed out his cigarette in the ashtray, put the photo album away, and stripped out of his clothes down to his briefs, ready to call it an early night. But just when he was about to climb into bed, he heard music coming from across the way.

He flipped off the light, and pulled back the shear curtain to peek out his window finding he could see straight into Fili's bedroom. Because the neighbors that lived there before always had their blinds closed, he never realized how clearly he could see into the room, though the thought to look never crossed his mind until now. 

With all the bedroom lights lit, and the blinds wide open with the window cracked for some fresh air on this cool night, Fili never thought much about his privacy, and it never dawned on him, Kili could see directly into his room so easily. 

Kili snickered at the blond dancing around his room, oblivious to being watched, but after seeing Fili erotically slip out of his clothes with such finesse, the brunet wasn't giggling anymore. 

Fili's fluid movements were so flawless, Kili's mouth hung open with anticipation watching how the blond played with his briefs slowly pulling them down then back up again, until finally they too were pulled completely off, and tossed aside before he stretched out on his bed taking his manhood in hand.

Very aroused, wide-eyed Kili looked away. This was wrong to watch his neighbor having such an intimate personal moment like this, but he couldn't erase the vision of what he saw wanting to see more. Just another peek, he thought wouldn't matter after what he'd already seen. 

Watching the way Fili was pleasuring himself, Kili slipped out of his briefs, and cupped his balls in one hand, and began squeezing and stroking his own cock with his other hand trying to match what the blond was doing. 

Fili obviously had great self control, palming himself much longer than Kili was used to, but the horny brunet managed to keep pace with him until the blond threw his head back, and arched his back, his hand furiously pumping his stiff arousal until he came. 

Kili had never been so turned on, finally allowing himself to come over his hand, watching the way Fili continued to enjoy his blissful moment, rolling his hips slowly, still stroking his spent cock. 

Standing there on trembling legs, riding out the aftershocks with a hand coated in his seed, Kili stepped away from the window to let the curtain fall closed when Fili rolled off the bed, and left the room. 

A wave of guilt washed over the brunet for watching his new friend this way, but it was gratifying, nonetheless. He wouldn't do it again, and what Fili didn't know wouldn't hurt him, right? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kili isn't thinking straight at the moment, and I promise he won't continue this creepy behavior for long.


	3. The Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili is thankful for the support of his friends, Bard and Nori, while Kili tells his best friend, Ori about his new neighbor, his obsession with Fili begins to grow.

Monday morning, sitting on the park bench outside the quaint old village bookstore, Kili’s friend and co-worker, Ori sipped on his hot coffee watching his manager walking up the sidewalk to begin another day of business.

In his usual gait, Kili walked with confidence, and tossed his cigarette away approaching the store. Seeing Ori sitting there in his usual spot waiting for him, the young manager smiled at his friend, greeting him cheerfully.

“Good morning, Ori! Ready to get started?”

Ori literally choked on his coffee, eyeing his friend curiously. Kili _never_ said good morning to him in all the years he’d known him, and he certainly never smiled or spoke to anyone beside his customers in such a friendly manner before 10a.m.

Kili held the door for Ori, and patted him on the back as he entered the store.

"You alright, Ri?"

Clearing his throat, his friend nodded, finding his voice again. 

"I was going to ask you the same thing." He remarked sarcastically. "Why are you so full of sunshine, and smiles? It's Monday. You hate Mondays! Did you have an extraordinarily great weekend, or something?"

Getting straight to work going about starting one of the store's coffee makers, Kili couldn't stop smiling thinking about his new neighbor.

"Remember I told you the house next door to me sold?" Ori nodded waiting for the story to continue. "Well, he moved in!"

Ah, yes! There is was, the little ginger was right. "He? As in some guy you're already getting wet for."

"Damn, Ori!"

"Well? I'm right, ain't I?" Ori quietly turned away to go to begin opening his register at the checkout counter, hearing Kili mumble the reply he already knew.

"Yes." Ori was Kili's best friend, and he loved him for his straightforward approach to everything. They had no secrets between them, that he knew of, so before any customers could show up, Kili jumped right in giving him what little detail he knew about his new neighbor. 

"His name is Fili, and he is so good looking!" Kili pursed his lips together grinning until a giddy smile burst through. "What am I saying, he's fucking sexy as hell!" 

As Kili moved about unboxing a new shipment of books, Ori's eyes fell over his friend's long, silky, raven hair, down his slender form before wandering back up to meet Kili's dark eyes. 

"He's a construction worker, said he does a lot of handyman work, so I'm already finding things around the house for him fix for me once he gets settled." 

Giving his friend a slighted look, Ori was taking it all in listening closely, assessing where Kili's head was. 

"He grew up around here, and just moved back from Greenville, so he knows people here already. Um...I helped him unpack yesterday, so I got to see most of his things, so I know what he's into. My god he had a shitload of kitchen stuff! Said he loves to cook, and oh! He had tons of books, said he loves to read!" Then Kili remembered last night letting a mischievous smirk spread across his lips. "He likes music, and he apparently loves to dance." 

The little ginger quirked an eyebrow curiously. "How do you know he likes to dance?" 

The question suddenly brought the brunet back from his illicit memories. "I...sort of saw him dancing around his room when I went to shut my window last night...He's good. Very good." 

In conclusion, Ori gave his friend a false sense of happiness for him faking a grin. "Sounds like a great guy. If this is what you want, I hope it works out for you." 

~*~

After Fili and Bard finished cleaning up their tools and supplies from their last job of the day that took much longer than they had anticipated, they collected their pay from the homeowner, and were on their way.

As they drove away in Bard’s truck, the driver glanced over at his friend fidgeting with his phone. 

“We still have plenty of time to get a shower, and grab something to eat before we head over to the club to meet Nori. Calm down, Fee.”

“I don’t want to be late.” Fili anxiously sighed.

“Relax! He's your friend! You’re just going in to talk to him, let him show you around, and introduce you to the other dancers. He won’t care if you’re a little late.” Bard shook his head, and caught Fili’s eye. “Trust me. I’ve never seen that man so excited when he told me he hired you to dance at his club! You’re a legend!”

Fili laughed out loud, then became a bit solemn in thought. “I never thought I’d come back to this town. Nori’s a good friend.” The smile returned thinking about the new venue he would be working at. “Too be honest, I’m excited to start working at his club! It’s going to be the first upscale strip club I’ve ever worked at. And it’ll be fun working with you again too. Thanks for talking to him for me.”

Knowing Fili almost their entire lives, and wanting to do anything he could to help his best friend through another tough break up, Bard was happy Fili was finally home again too.

Bard reached over to squeeze his friend's shoulder as he pulled into Fili's driveway. "Don’t mention it. It’s what friends are for.” 

Kili had spent the evening cutting grass and watering his flowers waiting for Fili come home from work. When he heard Bard’s work truck rumble up, he turned and waved at the men. Bard returned the wave, and was gone up the street in seconds after Fili jumped out the passenger side.

Greeting his neighbor with a hearty, "Hey!", Fili waved back, and tried to hurry toward the house.

“Hey Fili, got a sec?” 

The tall brunet dropped the hose, wiped his hands on his shorts, and walked across the small patch of grass between his yard and Fili’s driveway that ran alongside his house. He had been waiting for hours to catch him coming home from work, but the blond was visibly in a rush though he cordially stopped long enough to see what his neighbor wanted.

“What’s up?”

“I was wondering, you said you were a handyman. Do you think you could take a look at some things around my house I’d like done, and give me an estimate of how much it would cost to fix?”

Fili ran a hand over his tangled curls, and shook his head, sucking in his breath through his teeth.

“I’m really sorry, Kee, but I’m kind of in a hurry. I gotta go somewhere tonight, and I don’t want to be late. Maybe tomorrow night?” He really didn’t want to blow off his new friend so easily, but he was only being honest to end this conversation quickly.

Disappointed, but understanding, Kili just nodded. “Oh, yeah! Sure. Tomorrow’s fine. I’ll be here whenever you get home.”

“Great! I’ll see you then. Have good evening!” 

Kili watched Fili trot on his way back to his house, and up the front steps to go inside. He appreciated how honest and friendly his neighbor was. Fili never made him feel unwanted, and he was comfortable around him as if they’d been friends forever.

*

Lying in bed reading a captivating mystery, Kili had forgotten about the time, or that his neighbor wasn't home, until he heard a familiar truck rumble into the drive next door. 

The nosey neighbor flipped off his side table light, and went to the window to peek out. He was right. It was Bard's truck Fili was hopping out of as the men waved to each other, and went their separate ways. Kili stood there waiting for his neighbor to go inside. He was rewarded for his patience seeing the blond turn on his bedroom light before he began pulling off his clothes, readying himself for bed. 

Reaching for his camera atop his dresser drawers blindly in the dark, the photographer didn't want to take his eyes off his sexy subject. He had little time to focus the lens, and capture a few photos of Fili before the blond closed his blinds, and turned out the light.

Kili stepped back, and reviewed the photos on his camera. They weren't the best photos of someone he'd ever taken, but at least now he had a few of his new love interest he could look at anytime he wanted to.

"I'm really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow, Fee." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for stopping by to read, and I appreciate all your comments and kudos!!!


	4. What He Needs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili follows Fili to spend an evening out with him.

When Fili jumped out of Bard’s truck after work the next day, he walked straight over to Kili’s house to give his neighbor an estimate on the work he might have for him.

Not only was Kili excited to see Fili at his door, but the fact his new friend remembered telling him he would stop by, and actually kept his word made this man even more unbelievably attractive. Fili cared enough about him to _think about him!_

“Hey! Come on in! Did you just get home from work? You look tired. Do you want something to drink?”

Fili just smiled at him. He was still getting used to Kili’s zealous enthusiasm, but thought it was endearing, and his friend was adorably cute this way. Kili was very sweet in a way he'd never met anyone like him before, as long as you didn't wake him or try to talk to him too early in the morning. 

“No, thanks, I’m good! So what did you want to show me?”

Stepping inside he followed Kili leading the way around the house taking note of every major and minor detail of what the homeowner wanted fixed. By the end of the tour, Fili was certain Kili had no idea how to fix anything for himself. He left for his work truck sitting in the driveway, returning with a small tool box filled only with basic tools to fix a few minor problems.

Kili kept him company chatting away as he watched the skilled handyman work his craft like an artist, enjoying seeing every tone muscle flexing in his arms. But when Fili stood on a chair, and raised his arms up to spackle a crack in the wall, his white t-shirt rode up just enough to expose some tan skin just above his low riding jeans leaving Kili completely speechless. With that bare skin practically in his face, Kili had visions of himself licking him right there along the waistband of his filthy work jeans. 

After the crack in the wall was fixed, and a few twists of a wrench, turns of a screwdriver, and a bit of tapping of the hammer Fili had completed every minor repair in no time. 

"There! Knocked a few simple things off your to-do list!" The blond packed up his tool box, and headed for the door.

"How much do I owe you?" Kili called after him. 

Fili waved a hand, letting himself out. "Nothing. You helped me when I moved in, it's all good. I'll figure up something for the rest of the work you want done, and let you know. I gotta get home, and get a shower. See ya later!"

Trying to think fast, Kili followed him outside not wanting Fili to leave so soon. "Well, could I make dinner for you? Would you want to come over after your done, and we could hangout for a while?"

Placing the small tool box back inside his truck, the blond shook his head. "No, I'm sorry, Kee. I got plans tonight. Maybe another time."

*

Once again, Kili sadly made dinner for one. He sat there shoving the food around on his plate, staring at the empty chair across the table feeling more alone than ever. With a sigh, he cleared the table, and stood at the kitchen sink cleaning up the few dishes he'd used, mindlessly looking out the window watching the motion of the tree leaves flutter now and then caught in the gentle evening breeze. 

Suddenly his attention shifted to Fili coming out of his house, heading for his car. Kili never thought twice about his decision to run out of the house to get into his own car to follow his neighbor to see where he was going. It seemed harmless enough. He hung back in traffic enough, Fili never saw himself being followed to the local pub down in the old village not far from Kili's bookstore.

Sitting in his parked car, the brunet watched his friend go inside, and he waited. And waited. Then just when he decided to get out of his car, he saw Bard pull up, and go into the pub, so he waited another five minutes or so. 

_'Those two spend a lot of time together'_ , he thought analyzing the fact they worked together all day five days a week, sometimes on weekends too. But they were also friends, so he guessed it made sense. 

Kili finally got the nerve to leave his car, and go inside the pub to look for Fili. Nonchalantly he walked in, and looked around casually heading toward the bar when he spotted his neighbor, and his friend, Bard already sitting at the bar where he usually sat whenever he stopped in to drink there.

"Hey, Fili!" 

Hearing the familiar voice, Fili whirled around on his barstool to greet his neighbor. "Hey, Kili!" 

"I was over at my store, and thought I'd stop in here for a beer or two."

Bard observed the brunet's body language, hearing the strain in his voice though he was smiling from ear-to-ear at his friend. 

"Want to join us? Do you remember Bard?"

"Yeah, hey Bard!" Kili reached out a hand for Bard to shake greeting him politely. 

"Hey. Fancy meeting you here." Bard smirked at Kili while shaking his hand. He'd only been around Fili's neighbor the day he help him move in, and intuitively he read Kili's attraction to his friend that day. 

Hours passed by as quickly as the beer went down smoothly, and shots were poured one after another. Bard was elated to see his friend having a grand time, and he'd already given him the okay he didn't have to go to work with him the next day since he was having such a great time for the first time in he couldn't remember when. 

Fili slid off his barstool, and made the call they were going to shoot some pool whether Bard and Kili wanted to or not. Of course they wouldn't say no, and even though the drunk blond could barely make a decent shot, he continued to play laughing at himself and everything in general. 

Every now and then, Kili caught Fili staring at him in what he thought was a feeble attempt to be seductive. He wasn't sure if he was for real, or if maybe it was just the effects of the alcohol. Either way, he enjoyed the attention the blond was giving him. 

"I gotta take a piss!" Fili suddenly dropped his pool stick on the floor, and staggered off to the restroom.

Kili laughed, bending over to pick up the stick, but Bard snatched it up first. 

"You're kinda sweet on Fili, aren't ya?"

Taken aback by Bard's comment, Kili snorted and matched the man's smirk. "No! Why do you think that?"

"I don't think it, I know it." 

Kili backed down fast, and quietly sat on a barstool drinking from his beer mug listening to what Bard had to say.

"You don't know anything about Fili. You just met him a few days ago, but I'm telling you now, if you think for a second you're going to have a relationship with him, you couldn't be more wrong."

Kili turned toward the man, and snapped at him. "You just want him for yourself!" 

Bard laughed out loud, and shook his head at Kili's ignorance. "If I wanted Fili, I could've had him years ago! We've been best friends since we were little kids. I'm serious, Kili, leave him alone. He doesn't need another lover. What he needs is a _real_ friend."

Fili staggered back to his friends, and grabbed ahold of the pool table. "It's my turn! Give me my stick!" 

The blond took his turn, and handed the pool stick back to Bard before he stumbled over to the bar to grab his beer. After Fili took a long drink, standing their next to Kili, he turned toward his new friend, and much to the brunet's surprise, he ran his fingers through the man's long raven curls.

Kili didn't mean to flinch, but the touch was unexpected, and what Fili said to him next was even more unexpected.

"You're hot as fuck." 

Kili's breathing came faster, then stopped when Fili added, "I think I want to kiss you."

"You think?"

Fili rested his hand against Kili's cheek, and stepped a little closer, drawing their lips closer together. Kili closed his eyes as his heart beat faster anticipating Fili's kiss. But just when their lips were about to meet, Bard grabbed Fili by the arm, and jerked him away from Kili, and shoved the pool stick into his hand.

"It's your turn again, Fee."

The blond tripped over his own feet, and crashed into the pool table, bursting into laughter completely forgetting about what he was doing.

The angry brunet shot Kili a look, which was mirrored back at him. "I told you to leave him alone."

"I didn't do anything! He said he wanted to kiss me!" Kili shouted in his own defense, but Bard shouted louder.

"He's drunk! He'd kiss anybody right now!" 

Fili wasn't sure what was going on between his friends, but he knew he'd had more than enough to drink, and was ready to leave now. 

Bard paid their tab, and took Fili by the arm to help lead him outside being followed by Kili. Just as Bard was about to pour his friend into the passenger seat of his truck, Kili spoke up. "I'll take him home."

Bard snorted, "You don't know when to stop, do you?"

"He lives right next door to me! It would be out of your way to take him home. I swear, I promise I'll get him home safely, and take good care of him." Bard furrowed his brow, but read the sincerity in Kili's eyes, and entrusted him with the care of his best friend. 

"Fine. Get him home safe, and don't do anything stupid, I'm warning you." Kili heeded Bard's threatening tone. 

In keeping his promise to Bard, Kili drove Fili home safely, and helped him upstairs to his bedroom where he dumped him onto the bed. Hearing the drunk blond groaning as he tried to remove as much clothing as he could, Kili worried. "Are you alright, Fee?"

The last article of clothing he knew should come off was Fili's jeans. He felt dirty unbuttoning, and unzipping them wanting to touch him, wanting to run his hands over the blond's body, but he respected his intoxicated friend enough to treat him with dignity. "Sorry, Fee, I got to get your jeans off."

Carefully he pulled Fili's jeans off, even tugging his briefs back up when they began to pull down with the jeans, and threw a blanket over him. He knew he couldn't leave him like this, it could be dangerous to leave him in this drunken state, so Kili laid down on the bed next to him, and fell asleep.

It wasn't until the sunlight drove through his eyelids the next morning did Fili stir awake. Seeing Kili lying in his bed next to him, he began to panic.

Kili stretched, and rolled over finding Fili awake. He smiled at how disheveled he looked with curls going every which way, some clinging to his beard, but at least he was okay. "Good morning, Fee."

The first thing out of Fili's mouth was the first thing that came to mind. “We didn’t?”

“No.” Kili grinned and snorted at the thought. “You couldn’t have done anything if you wanted to. You passed out the second you hit the mattress.”

Embarrassed, Fili sighed and ran a hand over his face and beard. 

“Sorry I got so drunk. I swear that doesn’t happen very often.”

Kili wanted to see how much Fili remembered from last night. “You were so drunk, you said you wanted to kiss me.”

Fili shook his head. “Ugh, I'm sooo sorry!"

"So you really wouldn't want to kiss me?" The brunet tested him. 

The blond shook his head slowly. "I'm a sloppy drunk. I'm sorry, Kee. You're a good friend. And that’s what I need more than anything right now. Thanks for taking care of me last night.”

"Anytime, Fee." It wasn't what he wanted to hear, but all things considered, Bard had told him the truth. His neighbor really did only need him to be a friend. Maybe he should back off, and leave Fili alone. Maybe he was trying too hard. After all, Bard was right. They just met, and they were neighbors. There would be plenty of time for the relationship he desired to grow between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for my tardiness! I had to leave yesterday, and was gone all day, postponing my update ;)
> 
> Thank you all again for the kudos, the great comments, and stopping by to read!


	5. The Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili takes Ori up on his invitation to visit a strip club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note, I failed to put this in the tags or mention this this little fact from the beginning, but it was brought to my attention (thank you islandkate!) Ori and Nori are not brothers in this story, but they are cousins. Sorry if I confused anybody with that!  
> Happy reading, and please enjoy the show! ;)

Recognizing his obsession with his neighbor, Kili chastised himself for his behavior. He slowly stopped his daily visits even though Fili honestly didn't mind those visits from his exhaustingly exuberant neighbor. 

To occupy his time, Kili threw himself into his work at the bookstore, going in early, and staying well after closing time, seven days a week. He tried not to take mental note of his neighbor’s coming and going, trying not to care what time Fili left or what time he returned home. 

Over the next few weeks, Ori noticed his friend’s slow regression back to the quiet, broody man he was before Fili moved in. The brunet returned to living the same lonely life he had for a year prior to meeting his new neighbor. Going to work, coming home to eat alone, watching hours of Netflix or reading alone, going to the pub to drink alone, going to bed alone.

Only on a rare occasion could Ori talk Kili into going out for dinner, or to join him for a drink after work, and the cheerfulness his friend had found, disappeared as quickly as it appeared.

  


It was closing time at the bookstore, and Ori was determined to end his friend's sad, mundane routine. Though Kili was reluctant to accept the offer to walk down to the pub for a few drinks, he was grateful to spend some time with his best friend away from work. 

After the friends threw back a few shots, Ori was elated to see Kili's smile again, and drank in his joyous laughter. 

"Hey, Kee, I ran into my cousin, the other day. I haven't seen him years. Did I ever tell you he owned a strip club in town?" 

"Umm, I don't think so. What about it?" 

"He said he'd closed it down for a while to do a major overhaul to the place, and it's supposed to be really nice now. Would you like to go with me Thursday night?" Ori was sure Kili would turn him down, but it was worth a shot.

"Why don't we go right now?" Kili's mischievous grin and such willingness caught Ori off-guard, but unfortunately he had to turn down the counteroffer. 

"Well, we can't go tonight. It's Tuesday, and Tuesday night is for women only." 

Tipsy Kili giggled, and threw an arm around Ori's slight shoulders. "But I like women!" 

"Ahh, yes! But _they_ wouldn't like you! Tuesday nights feature only female dancers, and is only open to female customers." Wiggling an eyebrow at his friend, Kili caught on quick. 

"Oh. Wellll, what about tomorrow night then?" 

"We can go tomorrow night, if you want. Wednesday is open to everyone, and has male and female dancers." Though Ori would've preferred to wait for Thursday, he was glad he could pique Kili's interest in doing anything at all.

"Perfect. I can't wait!" 

~*~

The next evening, Kili was watering the flowers alongside his house when Fili arrived home from work in his own obnoxiously loud truck. Kili shook his head. That truck was even louder than Bard’s making it almost impossible not to know when his neighbor came and went these days.

Besides a quick wave to one another in passing, this was the first time Kili got a good look at Fili in almost a month. He really missed him, and enough time had gone by, he wanted to talk to him again.

Because Kili had stopped coming around and avoided him as much as possible, Fili thought he’d done something to ruin his friendship with his neighbor. Kili had the potential of being a great friend, and he missed him too.

They greeted each other with a wave, but this time Fili didn’t go straight into the house as he usually did. Instead he was busy moving some lumber from his truck to his garage. 

Kili continued to water his flowerbed, contemplating whether or not to go over, and speak with his neighbor to break the ice between them.

 _'Damn! Look at him!'_ Wearing his usual filthy work jeans and boots, Fili's sleeveless black tee showed off his muscular tattooed arms even more tan than last he'd seem him, and his blond curls pulled up in a high pony seemed a shade lighter. 

Just before Fili could gather up the last load of lumber from the truck bed, Kili had made his way over to him.

“Hey, Fili. How’s it going?”

Pulling off one of his work gloves, Fili tried to smile, but it fell a bit lopsided, wiping the sweat from his face. “I’m good. And you?”

The dark haired neighbor nodded, looking away. “I’m good.”

The awkwardness was evident, and they both wanted it to end, speaking at the same time to apologize for their recent behavior.

“I’m sorry!” They both laughed unsure why the other was feeling apologetic.

“I was afraid I did something to push you away, Kee. I’m really sorry for whatever I did.”

Kili was stunned that Fili felt responsible for them not seeing each other.

“No! I’m sorry. I thought I was being too forward with you, trying too hard to be your friend. I’ve been told I can be annoying that way.” 

Fili’s genuine smile returned. “You’re fine. I missed you being around. So are we good?”

Hearing Fili admit he missed him, changed Kili’s entire mood. Instantly he perked up, speaking excitedly. 

“We’re great! Hey, uh…if you don’t have any plans, would you like to go out with me and my friend tonight?”

Of all nights to ask, Fili honestly felt bad he had to turn him down.

“No, I can’t tonight. I'm sorry, I already have plans. Maybe another night?”

Kili's smile faded to a grin believing Fili’s plans must include Bard somehow, but that was his business.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll see ya around.”

“Have fun with your friend tonight, but don’t drink too much, okay?” Fili joked feeling much better knowing everything was cool between them.

*

From the moment they arrived at Nori’s strip club, Ori and Kili could tell from the outside of the building through the entrance it was unlike any other strip club they had been to before. It was expensive to even enter the posh establishment with strict code of conduct plastered on the walls. 

All customers were expected to obey the rules at all times, or be swiftly tossed out and banded from returning. Safety and respect for all his dancers were Nori’s number one priority. 

The club design was ultra modern, spotlessly clean, lit with neon lighting, chrome furnishings, high-tech with touch screen tablets on each table for ordering drinks or other services such as scheduling a private room for a private dance, or booking a specific dancer for a private party off-site.

Days of owning a dark, filthy strip joint with shady, unsavory clientele were long gone from Nori’s mind now. He worked hard and was proud to finally own such respectable club, hiring only the best, most professional dancers he could find. All of his strippers, men and women worked out, and had dance routines choreographed for them. 

The club was spacious to allow for the large number of customers being drawn to his unique set up. The dancer's stage was designed just for them to perform as they pleased. There was a long stage stretching across the back of one wall equipped with two poles, and a wide catwalk leading to a large center round stage with a pole, all completely enclosed by a guardrail to keep the customers at arms length allowing the dancers to be in control of how closely they wanted to get to their customers whether or not they wanted to be touched by them.

As the friends approached the club, their excitement began to build hearing the muffled music thumping from outside becoming much louder as they stepped into the entrance. Ori showed the man at the door his ID, and explained his cousin, the owner had left two VIP tickets for him and his friend.

Another young man standing by led them inside to their VIP table for two seated close to the stage for optimal viewing, and showed them how to order on the tabletop tablet. He apologized to Ori that the owner wasn’t going to be there that evening, and had sent his apologies offering them each free drinks of their choice during their visit asking only that they tip his strippers well. 

The friends placed their order, and the attractive male host returned with their drinks with faster service they'd ever received anywhere explaining to them he was a host and would not be their waiter for the evening, pointing at a lovely scantily clad young lady with velvet red hair. "That lady over there at that table will be your waitress. Her name is Ember. If you need anything, just let her know. Enjoy your evening, gentlemen!"

Kili thought the night looked to be very promising so far. Great venue, free drinks, amazingly beautiful men and women to watch both on and off stage, and his best friend at his side to share the experience with. 

They had arrived a little later in the evening so many featured dancers had already performed on stage, and they were able to enjoy a few table dances from strippers stopping by to entertain them briefly before a female stripper took the stage. 

Ori rolled his eyes at his friend ogling the incredibly flexible, naked woman swinging around the pole. The dumb look on Kili's face was laughable at best the way he tried to make eyes at her as if she was really interested in him. 

Then the tables were turned when up next, a very sexy man with alluring hazel eyes, and sleek dark skin paid special attention to Ori, whose jaw was about to come unhinged completely lost in the male stripper's seductive movements. Kili was very impressed as well, but he had a thing for blonds.

It was getting late into the evening, and knowing the last featured dancer of the night would be out in a few minutes, Kili took the opportunity to make a quick trip to the restroom. Unfortunately, he miscalculated how long it would take for the show to begin. The performer was announced as he took his place on the dark stage just before his music began to play. 

Hearing the hum of a synthesizer, Kili immediately recognized the song he'd heard his neighbor's teenage daughters playing, "Take It Off" by Zayn. _'How appropriate'_ , Kili snickered, then suddenly another memory of the song came flooding back. _'That's what Fili was playing the night I saw him dancing around his room.'_

Leaving the restroom, Kili was just about to try and make his way through the sea of bodies to join Ori when the male dancer bathed in a golden spotlight on the main stage standing with his back to the audience, caught his eye. 

_I can taste it on your mouth_  
_And I can't leave it_  
_You're a freak like me_  
_Can't you see?_  


The barefooted dancer wearing ripped, baggy jeans, and a very clean white, sleeveless tee shifted his body sensually to the music, running his hands up his sides, over his chest, around the back of his neck, all the way up to his bright yellow hard hat. 

_We can work this something out_  
_And I'm believin'_  
_You get off on me_  
_It's like cheating_

A flash of long blond silken curls released from beneath the hat tossed away spilled over the dancer’s broad shoulders, down his muscular back as he spun around, ripping off the plain white tee in one go as the heavy bass of the music vibrated the very air. The club came alive bursting with energy as colorful lights and lasers flashed to the beat of the song. 

_I, I, I, I just want to watch you when you take it off_  
_Take off all your makeup baby take it off_  
_I just want to watch you when you take it off_  
_Take off all your clothes and watch you take them off_

In rhythm, the stripper strutted, almost skipping down the runway in a hurry to the large circular stage to give his customers what they came for - a closer view of his fine, physique, thrusting his hips provocatively passing by the screaming crowd reaching out to touch him anywhere they could before he took a spin around the stripper pole.

"Fili!" Kili gasped in shock and disbelief. The man of his dreams owned the stage, working the crowd into a frenzy, as he slipped his belt off to hook around one lucky lady pulling her close to him as if he was going to kiss her seconds before releasing her. 

_Take it off, take it off, baby just take it off_  
_Take it off, take it off, baby just take it off_

Seductively rolling his body, Fili unfastened his jeans, and slid a hand down his pants, shifting his eyes toward the VIP tables. Ori's breath hitched receiving a sly wink from the hot blond stripper just before those ripped jeans hit the floor, and he took another quick swing around the pole to show off his strength and flexibility climbing high, then spinning back down. Ori quickly scanned the faces of the crowd for Kili who was nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly seeing Ori looking for him, Kili took a step back into the shadows afraid to be seen in the colorful, flashing lights, continuing to watch Fili make his rounds trying to please all his adoring fans letting them paw at him while he teased them, thrusting his pelvis at them, before leaning back against the pole. 

Reaching above his head, the stripper held onto the pole with one hand slowly sliding down it while he sensually ran his other hand up his thigh to tug roughly at his clothed cock making the women and a few guys directly in front of him scream even louder for him, wishing that sexy man could be theirs for the night as did everyone watching him. Especially Kili. 

_Push me up against the wall_  
_Don't take it easy_  
_You like it hard like me_  
_It's what you need_  
_Let's get naked and explore_  
_Our inner secrets_  
_For what it is_  
_It's what it is_

Making his way back up the catwalk to the main stage, the blond's hips swayed to the beat of the music, deftly swinging around one of the two poles before landing on his feet straddling the pole, he stimulated himself rubbing against the pole, arching his back, simulating sex much to the audience's delight. 

_I, I, I, I just want to watch you when you take it off_  
_Take off all your makeup baby take it off_  
_I just want to watch you when you take it off_  
_Take off all your clothes and watch you take them off_

Falling to his knees, Fili stretched out and crawled like a feral cat slinking toward the center stage where he began humping the floor, looking around to lock eyes flirtatiously with certain people arousing everyone even more. Then he sat up on his knees, and grabbed a bottle tossed his way, pouring oil all over his chest, smoothing it over his broad chest and toned, tattooed biceps leaving Kili weak in the knees. 

The stripper hopped to his feet, rolling his body and hips to the rhythm of the music. Fili teased the horny audience sliding his briefs down to expose his firm ass, only to pull them back up again, and repeated his teasing even more by turning around to pull them down in the front keeping his cock covered a little longer exposing only the base of it. 

There was nothing more erotically fulfilling to Fili than seeing how aroused women and men could get over him. Completely comfortable in his skin, he was confident with his sexuality, and showing off his sculpted fit body gave him the ultimate high. 

Enthralling the audience with this teasing front and back over and over, Kili literally held his breath with anticipation. Knowing what the stripper was secretly hiding, he couldn't wait to see it again.

_Take it off, take it off, baby just take it off_  
_Take it off, take it off, baby just_  
_Take it off, take it off, baby just take it off_  
_Take it off, take it off, baby just take it off_

Having worked himself up to this moment, slowly, in the most sultry way, Fili slid his hands over his oil slicked chest down his rippled abs, hooking his thumbs around the band of his tiny black briefs barely containing his obvious hard-on. The crowd was going wild, whistling, and screaming for him to 'take it off!' 

_I just can't wait to see it all_  
_I'm so turned on_  
_And it's all mine_  
_I just can't wait to see it all_  
_I'm so turned on_

In the blink of an eye, the briefs were flung across the stage exposing Fili's well-endowed manhood, springing free for all to see as the heavy beat of the bass starting up again got everbody's blood pumping as they jumped up and down screaming for him. He stroked himself briefly before making his way back down to the center stage to shake his bare ass for the crowd, and thrust his heavy cock for them letting only a few people actually have the pleasure of finding out how hard he was getting close enough for them to touch him. 

_I, I, I, I just want to watch you when you take it off_  
_Take off all your makeup baby take it off_  
_I just want to watch you when you take it off_  
_Take off all your clothes and watch you take them off_  
_I just want to watch you when you take it off_  
_Take off all your makeup baby take it off_  
_I just want to watch you when you take it off_  
_Take off all your clothes and watch you take them off_

By the time the song ended, Fili had made his way back to the main stage to give the overly enthusiastic, screaming, whistling crowd a hair flip, and a thank you wave before disappearing backstage. 

Ember stopped to check on Kili noticing he couldn't stop staring at the empty stage. 

"Are you alright? Can I get you anything?" 

Without taking his eyes off the stage hoping to get another glimpse of Fili, Kili asked, "The stripper that was just up there...can I book a private dance with him tonight?" 

The redhead shook her head. "No, I'm sorry, not tonight. But if you want, he'll be available tomorrow night! Would you like me to help you get that scheduled?" 

With obvious lust on his mind and little else, a devilish grin grew on Kili's lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos, and stopping by to read!


	6. Guilty Pleasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili begins to worry about surprising Fili at the strip club, but after Fili surprises him by handling the situation in such a professional manner, Kili's worry turns to guilt.

Just as Ori left his seat to look for his friend that had gone MIA, Kili stepped out of the crowd of people still gathered around near the stage.

“Kili! Where were you? Are you alright? You missed the best…”

"No I didn’t. I saw everything." Hooking his arm around Ori’s, Kili quickly led him away. "I’m fine, but we got to go." 

“Are you sure you’re okay? Where were you?”

Still hurrying along, Kili glanced around suspiciously making his friend as nervous as he was curious.

“I’ll tell you when we get out of here.”

*

Thursday at the bookstore, Ori was unusually quiet, sitting at the checkout counter reading a book ignoring Kili. He had been talking nonstop all day, flitting here and there with all the energy of a hummingbird. 

Nearing closing time the last customer had gone out the door when Ori slammed his book on the counter, and sarcastically snapped at his friend.

“Quite the chatterbox today, aren’t we? Where is your off button?”

Kili drew a puzzled face thinking Ori was joking, but quickly realized he wasn't. “I’m in a good mood! I'm looking forward to tonight! I thought you'd be happy for me!”

“Not this way. You’re doing it again, and you’re going to get hurt!”

“Doing what again?”

“Forcing yourself on someone that doesn’t want you!” 

With a moment of regret, the hurtful words aimed at his friend flew from his lips, but Ori couldn't contain how he felt any longer. 

“I’m sorry, Kee…it’s just…”

Placing the book he held in his hand on the display stand, Kili's smile faded as he hung his head, and slowly moved toward the store entrance. 

“No. You’re right. Why would somebody like Fili want someone like me?” 

"That's not what I meant! He'd be a fool not to like you, but you're going about this all wrong! Why can’t you fall for someone that truly loves you for you instead of trying to _make_ someone fall in love with you?”

Wasn't it enough he already had such low self-esteem that his best friend would douse any hope he had to be with the man he admired with such passion and desire, Kili thought. 

“Like who, Ori? Who would ever love me like that?” The truth hurt, and Kili was very angry at his friend for ruining his fantasy. “I’m outta here. Lock up when you’re done, and be here on time in the morning with my keys.”

The keys landed with a thud against the wooden floor landing at Ori's feet as the bell over the bookshop door rang hard being slammed shut.

Ori knelt down to pick up the keys, looking toward where his best friend had been standing to answer the hypothetical question, “Someone like me.”

~*~

Arriving backstage at Nori's strip club, Fili and Bard picked up their schedules for the evening before going to their dressing rooms. 

At first, Fili was a little disappointed he wouldn’t be one of the featured dancers this evening, but working an in-house stag party for a gay couple had money signs written all over it. Not to mention he also had three private dances booked to start his shift before the party arrived that also guaranteed good money. 

"I got a last minute booking for a hen party. I better not come back all scratched up like the last time!" Bard groaned with misery receiving a sympathetic pat on the back from his friend as they headed off to their respective dressing rooms.

Fili had about a half hour to prepare for his first private dance. He began by shucking off all his street clothes, and did a few warm-up exercises and dance moves followed by a quick shower to relax and get mentally prepared for his show. 

With a splash of cologne, just enough to tantalize the senses, the blond studied his form in the mirror as his slipped on a bright red thong adjusting himself to fit into it properly. At twenty-eight years old, he was at the top of his game, and had never been more pleased with himself physically. The only thing he still hadn't been able to overcome was the mental and emotional pain left by his most recent lover, Frerin. 

Fili missed him so much, but he understood why his boyfriend ended their relationship because he'd been down that road before. Frerin wasn't the first lover to leave him over his chosen career as a stripper. He was one of many that littered seven years of Fili's past. The nature of his job always became too much for his partner, male or female, to honestly be alright with it. 

Moving to a new town to make a fresh start for himself once again, his decision to remain carefree and single was the goal this time. He wanted to be able to sleep around without the drama of commitment and heartbreak, but meeting Kili threw a wrench into his solid plans. 

His immediate attraction to the young man was testing his will, undermining every thought he had to never fall in love and get involved in another doomed relationship with someone again. 

When he told his neighbor what he really needed was a friend, Fili meant it, and he adored Kili as a friend, but he was struggling not to cross that line. Maybe if he could hook up with someone to get laid soon he could ward off any feeling he might be having for Kili. _'Yes, that's it. Maybe I'm just horny for him because I haven't had a good fuck in a long time.'_

It all sounded like a good idea, but even plans made with the best intentions can go to shit in a heartbeat.

*

Filled with trepidation, Kili could hear his heart beat with every step being led down the hallway to the private room by the host he'd met the night before. He'd been so excited about having Fili all alone to dance just for him, the reality of what he was doing was beginning sink in.

The host opened the door to the small private room. It wasn't anything like Kili imagined it would look like. The ultramarine walls displaying erotic black and white photography strangely felt like walking into someone's well decorated modern living room with a couple of small tables, warm neon pink lighting, and a very nice leather couch and armless chair with one exception. There was a stripper pole directly behind the white leather chair. 

"Here's your room. Please make yourself comfortable, and I'll be right back with your champagne in moment before your performer arrives." 

Taking a few nervous steps toward the chair, Kili turned back. "Lindir!" He wasn't sure what he wanted, but having the young man there was comforting. 

"Yes?" Standing in the doorway, the host could see the look in Kili's eyes. It wasn't the first time he'd seen that look. "This is your first private dance, isn't it?"

Slightly embarrassed, Kili nodded, but mused, _'My worry is so much more than that.'_

"He's a professional. Just relax, and he'll take good care of you, I promise." The gracious, understanding host gave him a warm smile, and quickly left and returned with a tray holding a champagne bottle and two fluted glasses. He popped open the bottle and poured the sparkling drink for the customer and performer to enjoy.

As Lindir closed the door to let Fili know his first customer was ready and waiting for him, Kili began to feel like a wet noodle. Shaking with anticipation, he looked around the room, and reached for the glass of champagne hoping at least one sip or two might calm his nerves. 

_'What the fuck am I doing here?! Fili's going to kill me!'_

*

Standing in the middle of his dressing room adjusting what little clothing he was wearing, Fili looked up when Lindir knocked.

"He's ready for you." With a nod, Fili began to head out, but Lindir touched his arm to stop him. "Fee, this is his first private dance, and he's very nervous." 

Always the professional, Fili wanted his customer's experience to be as pleasant and fulfilling as possible, and would try to make the experience more personal so they didn't feel like strangers. 

"Oh, okay. What's his name? 

Fili stopped cold, and glared at Lindir when he was given the name. "Is this a joke? Did Bard put you up to this?" 

The young host was suddenly very concerned the way the blond reacted. "No, of course not! Is something wrong?"

"Yeah. You said, Kili? What does he look like?" After a brief description, Fili was sure the man waiting for him was his neighbor. 

"Do you know, did he specifically ask for me?"

"Yes, it said on his booking he requested you.Fili, if you don't want to take this job, you know you can refuse. Nori's always made it clear no one has to do anything they're uncomfortable with."

"No. I want to do this. More than you know." Thankful to learn Kili was his customer before he entered the room so he wasn't caught off-guard gave Fili the upper hand. Whatever game Kili was playing, he'd met his match. 

Fili's mind raced as he marched toward the private room. Should he be angry, or flattered Kili would do such a thing? 

Kili was just about to get up and flee from the situation he'd put himself in when he heard someone at the door. 

The stripper placed a hand on the doorknob, took a deep breath, and entered the room keeping his eyes adverted toward the floor, turning away quickly to close the door behind him. Fili stood there for a moment staring at his hand on the doorknob trying to calm his own nerves making a last minute decision how to handle the situation. 

The pounding in Kili's chest increased in intensity, afraid of how Fili would react when he turned around to see him sitting there. 

Wearing low-riding very short cut off jean short, a leopard print crop top t-shirt and a red, silk scarf, Fili slowly turned around like a poised model sifting his fingers through his golden, wavy locks, playing with a bead holding one of his braids in place. Leaning against the door, he lifted his eyes seductively to meet Kili's in a very alluring way. 

Because Fili seemed unaffected by seeing Kili sitting there, he didn't know what to do or think, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. The stripper's crystal blue eyes seemed to sparkle even brighter outlined in black, enchanting him not to look away, but Kili's breathing came more rapidly as Fili hit a button on the digital keypad on the wall, and the song _'Closer'_ by Nine Inch Nails began to play. 

_'Oh fuck'_ , Knowing this song well, Kili was sure he swallowed a golf ball when Fili dropped to the floor, kicking up one leg, twisting around to sit on all fours, knees spread apart to hump the floor in rhythm to the beat of the music before slinking toward him _'like an animal'._

Not a word was spoken between them as Fili approached his friend sitting in the white leather chair. Shoving Kili's knees apart, the blond ran his hands up his friend's inner thighs, moving himself closer on his knees until he could pull himself to rub their groins together briefly before quickly grabbing the pole behind Kili's head to lift himself up like a gymnast to straddle his tense friend. 

Still as he could be, Kili watched in awe of Fili as he stood, and grabbed the pole again swinging completely around until he landed, straddling Kili's lap again just to show-off how strong and agile he was, throwing in a hair-flip for good measure. 

Enjoying the ride after he mounted him, the stripper smirked, snapping his hips forward to the beat of the song, grinding their groins together as he pulled off his t-shirt leaving the scarf dangling between them. 

Kili wasn't sure of all the house rules, but he took a chance, running his hands over Fili's muscular chest. Feeling the swelling in his pants, he mentally kicked himself for wearing the thin, light colored khaki shorts. 

Slipping the silk scarf off to hook behind Kili's neck, Fili's question ghosted over the brunet's dry lips to begin the most seductive interrogation ever, now rolling his hips sensually ignoring the music. 

"Why are you here?" 

Bringing their lips so dangerously close together, Fili captured Kili's gasp, never once breaking their gaze as his moustache braids tickled Kili's face brushing against his stubble. 

Sure Fili was going to strangle him with the scarf, Kili answered hoarsely, "The same reason everybody else is here." 

"Liar. You asked for me. Why? How did you even know I worked here?"

"I-I was here last night with my friend. I saw you." 

Kili couldn't resist the temptation to kiss Fili's inviting lips, but the stripper pulled back enough to stop him, and tossed away the scarf. 

"Un, uh! No kissing. It's against the rules. And keep your dick in your pants. There's cameras watching us."

The thought of being watched made the experience between them even more erotic now, Kili thought trying to grind himself against Fili. 

The stripper pushed off his friend to dance seductively, swaying his hips in front of him as he unfastened his shorts. Letting them fall to the floor to expose his rear, the blond backed up to sit in Kili's lap, grinding his ass against his friend's tented, unfortunate light colored shorts. Fili leaned over to grab a small bottle of oil from one of the tables nearby to pour it all over his chest before he forced Kili's hands on him. 

Of course, Kili didn't mind, but it was awkward to touch his friend this way. Especially when Fili made sure Kili's hands touched every inch of his sculpted chest, abs, and yes, he couldn't resist spreading his thighs, running his friend's hand over his very hard cock stretching the material of his thong to the max. 

The stripper snaked himself around, to straddle his customer bringing them face-to-face once again. Feeling even more out of control, Kili hissed when Fili grabbed his hands and placed them on his firm ass forcing him to keep them there while he road him, rolling or jerking his hips to the beat of the music. 

"Mmm, you're getting hard. Are you going to come in your pants for me, Kili?"

Feeling Fili grind down a bit harder on him, Kili still couldn't speak. He just nodded vehemently.

The stripper internally laughed at the newbie. _'That's so gross when guys do that! Serves him right if he does!'_

For a moment out of spite, Fili almost forgot he was with a _customer_ wanting Kili to mess himself. 

"Good. I don't like having unsatisfied customers. You see, when this song ends, I'm out of here whether you get off or not."

Suddenly the stripper stood, and pulled himself up on the pole, standing on the chair, brushing his cloth covered cock over Kili's face. 

With his senses already overwhelmed, Kili closed his eyes, losing himself in the musky scent of Fili's manhood and his earthy, spice cologne. 

Fili refocused on the music. When he realized the song was ending soon, he slid back down the pole, swinging, twisting around to reposition himself with his ass pressed firmly against his friend's groin, he straddled him. Bending forward between Kili's legs, the blond placed his hands on the floor and stretched out, rocking their erections together, humping him in this unusual backwards position while the brunet massaged his stripper's ass until Fili was satisfied he'd teased Kili enough, he slid off him onto the floor like a snake. The agile stripper rolled backwards on the floor, lifting his body up long enough to spread his legs, then fluidly roll back down to gather himself, gracefully crawling back up into Kili's lap to straddled him again. 

The song was a few beats away from the end, when the stripper teased his customer one last time before dismounting him. He hooked his thumb around the band of his thong as if he might pull it down watching Kili's lips part in wishful thinking. 

"Hmm, you never got off for me. Guess I wasn't good enough for you." The stripper licked his lips, and flashed his friend his dimples as he sarcastically smirked, "Sorry. Show's over." 

The second the music ended, Fili stood up, and took his fluted glass from the table to down his champagne, snatched up his three articles of clothing, and was gone like a whirlwind before Kili could comprehend what just happened. 

The brunet sat there staring at his hard-on pressed tight against the material of his shorts spotted with precome and oil, knowing he was going to have to take care of that in the restroom before he could drive home. 

Though Kili certainly enjoyed himself, he let out of sigh of relief the performance was over, dropping his head back against the chair, closing his eyes in disgust of himself for what he just did to Fili. He'd used his friend's profession for his own personal pleasure, and Fili surprised him by acting every bit the professional when he should have laid into him for such thoughtless behavior. Ori was right, and he wouldn't blame Fili if he never spoke to him again. 

*

It was a long, quiet ride home. The road from downtown to Kili's house seemed like an endless black ribbon of asphalt driving this late at night, though his mind wasn't on the road. Playing the evening over and over in his mind, he didn't know how to feel about anything. 

Had he made the biggest mistake possible? What a fool he'd been to do something so reckless and foolish. Any chance he had with Fili was most likely ruined now, as well as his friendship. 

Lying in bed, Kili tossed and turned, unable to turn off his thoughts. Wide awake, he laid there for many hours until he heard his neighbor's car pull into the driveway next door, signaling Fili's return home. 

The sound of the car door slamming shut made Kili cringe, but the unexpected pounding on his front door startled him into a panic instantly knowing his late night visitor just had to be Fili. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments, kudos, and stopping by to read!


	7. No Strings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili agrees to 'no strings', but in the end Fili's afraid his friend might not really understand what that means.

Reaching hesitantly for the lock, the beating the door was taking should have been warning enough, but upon opening his front door Kili knew without a doubt he was deep trouble being met by his neighbor's fierce blue eyes and flaring nostrils. 

"Don't hurt me! I'm sorry, Fee!" 

Plowing his way inside like a miniature linebacker, Fili shoved Kili back up against the wall with both hands to pin him there, demanding an honest answer. 

"What the fuck did you think you were doing?! Come to my work like that, were you trying to embarrass me?! Why would you do that?! If you wanted me to fuck you, why didn't you just say so!"

Seriously afraid this little body builder could snap him in half if he wanted to, the brunet let out a squeak, squeezing his eyes closed tight, awaiting his fate. Feeling strong fingers digging into his skin, he was sure a swift fist to the face was imminent. 

In a moment of clarity, relaxing his grip on his neighbor's shoulders , Fili's chest heaved in rhythm with Kili's as the brunet's doe eyes opened beneath brows knitted with distress. The fiery blond couldn't keep his eyes from being drawn to Kili's trembling parted lips unable to speak. 

"Oh, shit..." It never crossed his mind until this moment that what he snapped sarcastically at Kili about could possibly be true. This was exactly what Fili feared. He never asked for this. In light of this revelation, seeing his friend so vulnerable and wrecked he was suddenly very horny for him. "It is what you want, isn't it?" 

Wary of Fili's intent, Kili swallowed hard. If there was ever a time to chance being honest, that time was now. 

"If you want me." 

There was no way Kili could have understood the conflicted thoughts battling Fili's conscious as he watched the blond fall to pieces, fidgeting, clenching his jaw, raking his fingers through that mane of wild curls while his eyes darted about anxiously. 

_'Fuck! Why does he have to look at me with those sad puppy eyes?'_ Fili knew he was losing his will not to cross that line with his friend feeling uncontrollably aroused by those smoldering dark eyes, and pouty lips that he'd tried so hard not to be seduced by. 

"We're just friends, Kili." 

Even though his body was weak giving into temptation, Fili's mind wasn't completely void of common sense hoping his neighbor wasn't either. 

"If we do this, it's like friends with benefits, right? No strings!" Though Kili nodded, the blond wasn't satisfied. "You're sure?" 

Confirming his answer one last time, the raven haired young man licked his lips with anticipation. _'He wants me too!'_ Of course he was sure! His mind had been consumed with Fili day and night for so long, he'd felt like he'd known him a lifetime, desiring him more than anyone he'd ever met. At this point, Kili would have agreed to buy the moon for Fili if that's what he asked of him. 

Crystal blue eyes darkened as Fili convinced himself they would do the deed this one time to finally satisfy their curiosity for one another, and that would be the end of it. The gentle, scared look in Kili's eyes washed away all the anger he had built up to this moment replaced by carnal lust. 

Fili hungered with need to taste Kili's kiss he'd been denied earlier, if only to feel his hands on him again. 

Kili flinched when his neighbor moved a hand toward his face to touch his cheek. 

"Sorry if I scared you. I would never hurt you, Kee." 

"I trust you." Lowering his dark eyes submissively, the brunet let his friend take the lead drawing him into a firm, yet tender kiss. _'I trust you, Fee.'_

Delicately smoothing his tongue over Kili's lips before delving deftly into his mouth, deepening their kiss, Fili received a hum of satisfaction craving more, arousing him further. 

Still close to the open front door, the blond reached back with his foot to kick it closed not wanting to let go of his friend. Kili reciprocated by hooking his arms around Fili pulling him hard against himself, intensifying their heated desire, binding their bodies together with wandering hands falling into a frenzied, lustful state. 

Parting long enough to give orders, in a raspy voice Fili panted "Upstairs...now..." 

Only wearing his briefs, it didn't take long for Kili to be naked, sitting on his knees in the middle of his bed, palming himself eagerly waiting for Fili to join him. Eagerly waiting to see his friend's perfect body naked again knowing in a matter of minutes his fantasy of having Fili's cock buried deep inside him was about to become reality.

With his shoes kicked off, and shirt tossed aside, Fili looked around the room while shimmying out of his jeans and briefs releasing his semi-hard cock with zero modesty. 

"Where do you keep your stuff?" 

Instead of waiting for an answer, the blond made an assumption, and reached to open the nightstand drawer. Kili's eyes grew wide as he scrambled to crawl across the bed.

When Fili pulled out a foil pack and lube from the drawer, the photographer nervously snickered with relief relaxing back on his heels giving the blond reason to wonder, though he would not ask. 

Standing alongside the bed, Fili drew Kili up to him, slotting himself between parted knees, to kiss him with such needy passion he chastised himself for enjoying their kiss, Kili's gentle touch, and how good it felt caressing the brunet's slender, yet muscular body more than he thought he would. 

The incredible sensation of feeling such strong, confident hands dragging fingertips sensually, methodically up and down his back moving lower with every stroke made the brunet return the sensual touch. No one had ever touched him so _lovingly_ before. 

Fili shivered feeling Kili's warm breath whisper across his lips, _"I want you, Fili"_ as he brought their foreheads together.

Pulses raced feeling their very stiff arousals pressed between them, drawn together in a strangely awkward, sweet embrace.

 _Feelings_ were beginning to surface. Fili closed his eyes. _'I had too much to drink tonight.'_

Kili was the first to move away, but only to lie down bringing his friend onto the mattress with him. 

This felt so wrong, Fili thought as he rolled on a condom, drizzling lube over his fingers to coat himself, and prepare his partner. Kili wasn't the first man he'd ever fucked just to satisfy his sexual urges, but he was his _friend!_ On the other hand, Kili wanted this as badly as he did. He needed to get them off quickly, and he was already so very horny he knew it wouldn't take long. No need to take their time. It was just sex after all, and they had agreed... _No Strings!_

With the brunet's long legs spread wide, writhing on Fili's fingers buried inside him, the blond bent over to lick a teasing stripe up Kili's long erection dripping with precome. The look from dark, seductive eyes he received made his heavy cock twitch with anticipation, lining himself up to sink into his friend with ease. 

The filthy groan that escaped Fili's throat was sweet music to Kili's ears knowing he was satisfying his new lover. He knew as well as Fili did, neither one of them would last long. 

Rolling his hips to meet Fili's thrusts, he pumped his cock vigorously while holding onto his lover's firm ass feeling his balls drawing up just as Fili's breath came jagged, and movements came more erratic. 

The blond squeezed his eyes closed, letting out a feral groan feeling Kili's heat clenching tight around his throbbing, stiff cock. With one final hard, deep thrust his orgasm ripped through him, releasing his seed in pulsing waves knowing his friend was soon to follow. 

Within seconds after Kili let out a moan of blissful pleasure as streams of cum coated his belly, Fili gently slipped from his friend's sated body to get towels from the bathroom for them. 

Still trying to catch his breath, Kili took the warm washcloth Fili offered. Everything had happened so fast it made his head spin, and he wasn't prepared for it to end so suddenly. 

"Thanks." With a furrowed brow as he cleaned himself, he watched the blond pulling on his clothes. "What're you doing? Are you leaving?" 

"It's been a long day, Kee, and I gotta get up early tomorrow. Maybe we can hang out sometime this weekend, okay?" 

"Did I do something wrong?" 

"No, why? You were great!" 

"I...you know...I thought you'd stay with me tonight." Kili said in the most disappointed tone as he sat up, gathering his blanket to cover himself.

"Sorry. I gotta go." 

_'Don't fall for that pouty look!'_ Fili picked up his keys from the floor where they had fallen from his pocket. His grin grew enough to melt Kili's heart with his dimples as he said goodnight, and offered to lock the door on his way out. 

Hearing the front door close, Kili went to his window to peek through the blinds, watching his friend walk home. The corners of his lips turned up slightly, forming a soft content smile until he crawled into the empty bed, curling into himself beneath the blanket feeling empty, and very alone. 

In the house next door, Fili turned off his bedroom light, lying down to sleep, but haunting visions of Kili kept him wide awake. He never had a problem having casual sex with anyone before, but the disappointment on Kili's face, and the way he questioned him as he was leaving concerned him greatly now. _'What did I do?'_

Rubbing his face in disgust of his actions he growled. God knows he didn't want to have a relationship with anyone again. He was still trying to get over Frerin, and he certainly never meant to mislead Kili letting the heat of the moment get the best of him. 

Fili knew he'd made a huge mistake. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments, kudos, and stopping by to read! Your support is very much appreciated! ❤


	8. Just You and Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Kili spend an evening at the pub.

After the tiff between Ori and Kili almost exactly twenty-four hours ago, the two had spent the day working at the bookstore in silence, only speaking to one another concerning business matters until the last customer of the day left the shop.

Curious soft brown eyes followed his manager crossing the floor, as Ori casually asked, “How did it go at the club last night?” 

Without watching him further, the cashier began counting out the register drawer awaiting a reply.

Kili locked the door behind their last customer to end their busy day, and turned the sign to 'closed' as he puffed.

"Why do you care? So you can say _told you so?_ " 

"No, I was just asking..." 

"You were right, as always. Fili was really pissed off, and he had every right to be." 

"I'm sorry, Kee." 

The storyteller waved his hand in front of him for dramatic affects as his tale unfolded. 

"No, no, no, don't be! It actually got better when he got home! He came to my house to confront me." 

Even though he knew how melodramatic his friend could be, Ori's curiosity was piqued even more. "What happened?" 

"Well, he, uh, he sort of...tackled me, and yelled at me, and..." The brunet's voice began to trail off with his gaze. "we had sex." 

Ori's eyes grew wide in disbelief. "You _what?!_ " 

Throwing his arms up animatedly, Kili broke into an unsettling laughter. "Everything happened so fast, I don't know! I wanted it! He wanted it! We did it, and he went home!" He honestly didn't know whether he should be laughing or crying. 

Thoroughly confused by Kili's range of emotions, Ori's concern grew knowing how his friend handled his relationships in the past, but he didn't know the right thing to ask or say afraid to offend him all over again. For once he wasn't able to read Kili at all. Was he happy, or was he upset about his encounter with his neighbor? The cashier closed his drawer, and made a mental note to speak with his cousin about his stripper soon. 

"Are you alright?" 

In hindsight, everything did happen so fast, he didn't know what to think or how to feel about it. It was obvious to him, Fili liked him, but as all his relationships started, it was based on sex with a lot of emptiness. He would give himself freely to Fili, do whatever he could to please him if only to have his attention and affection. 

"I'm great because at least he doesn't hate me for what I did!" The brunet calmed down, and tried to ease his friend's mind with a precarious smile. "All I know is, I'm attracted to him now more than ever."

Ori tried to returned the smile though he sensed something wasn't quite right. He would give Fili the benefit of the doubt, and hoped Kili wasn't being delusional again confusing sex with love. 

"Why don't you go on home? It's still early, and I have no plans. I can work on the inventory myself tonight." 

Kili felt bad for being so cold toward his best friend knowing he was the only person in his life that truly cared about his well-being. He pulled the little ginger to his chest to hold him in a friendly embrace. 

"Thank you. I'm sorry for being such a dick to you, Ori." 

Ori's stiff body relaxed in the warmth of his friend's affection. He should be the one holding Kili, even if he didn't realize it yet. 

"You deserve to be happy, Kee. Don't let anyone hurt you again." 

~*~

At an empty home on the other side of town, Fili's work day was filled with mishaps, one after another. He'd never had such a guilty conscious over a casual fuck before, but this was his new friend. This was Kili. He felt really bad for running out on him so quickly last night after they had sex. He'd never done that to anyone before, not even complete strangers he'd picked up when he was drunk. 

While reading a certain text message he'd been carrying around on his phone since that morning, not watching where he was walking, Fili kicked over an open fresh can of paint. 

Bard quickly threw his co-worker a couple rags to wipe up the paint he'd spilled on the bare kitchen floor. 

"Fuck! That paint was expensive!" Fili let out an exasperate sighed, slipped the phone into the back pocket of his jeans, getting on his knees to clean up the pale green puddle. 

The tall brunet handyman began tossing tools and supplies into a large bucket, trying to clean up their work space. With a bit of sarcasm, he wondered where his friend's mind had wander off to this day.

"So was the banister rung, the mirror in the bathroom, and the faucet you broke. Good thing we're not working at the club tonight. Mahal knows what damage you could do there!" 

"Sorry. I've had a lot on my mind today. Think I need a night at the pub to relax. Want to join me?" 

Bard shook his head, and hoisted up his heavy bucket of tools ready to go. 

"Not tonight, Fee. It's been a long day. Think I'm going home to soak in a hot bath, and call it a night." 

The two men locked up the house, and carried their equipment out to Bard's truck. 

Fili couldn't help laugh at his friend. "Whatever, old man. Maybe I'll ask Kili to go with me." 

Bard turned on him in shock. "Kili? I didn't think you two were on friendly terms anymore." 

Fili had sensed tension between his best friend and his neighbor in the past, and figured it would be wise not to give up too much information. Besides, he was in no mood for one of Bard's lectures. 

"We're still friends. We sorted out our differences yesterday. It's all good." 

The brunet hummed as he hopped into the driver's seat of his truck. Maybe his friend needed a reminder of _why_ he'd moved _again._ "Have you heard from Frerin?" 

Quietly Fili slid into the passenger seat, fastened his seat belt, and pulled out his phone as the truck rolled out of the driveway toward home. "Yeah...he finally answered my text this morning..." 

*

Kili had just settled down at his kitchen table with a plate of leftovers for dinner when he heard a knock on the front door. He glanced at the time before heading to the door. It wasn't late, but it wasn't early either. To his surprise, he was delighted to see his smiling blond neighbor standing on his doorstep. 

"Hey!" 

In a somber tone, Fili began his sincere apology, hoping they could get passed all their differences to allow their friendship a fresh start. 

“Hey, Kee, I want to apologize to you about last night. I swear I'm not a fuck 'n run kinda guy.”

“It's alright! You said you were tired, and had to get up early this morning. We’re cool.”

Kili's easygoing, natural forgiving nature, and exuberant smile made Fili feel even worse about himself even if he was low-key still a little angry at him for showing up at the club unannounced. 

“No, it's not alright. There was no excuse for running out on you like I did. It was a dick move. I should’ve stuck around for a little bit.”

“Really, it's okay, Fee. And I want to apologize to you too. I'm sorry for booking that private room with you.”

With a smirk, jokingly Fili cocked a brow as Kili tried to correct his choice of words. "Oh really? Was it that bad?" 

"No! I mean, I really enjoyed myself! You were awesome! I mean...I'm sorry. I was seriously about to run out of the room when you came in." 

Now with both brows raised, the stripper wasn't sure where his client was going with this apology. 

"You were going to ditch me?" 

With the cutest smile he could muster, Kili pulled a shoulder toward his cheek. "Forgive me? Please?" 

It was all in fun now, and how could he resist that adorable look? Fili shook his head, and laughed. 

“Hmmm. Yeaaaah, it's all good! Come here, you!" 

Unexpectedly pulled into Fili's embrace that lasted longer than it should have, Kili curled his fingers into his friend's shirt, and buried his face into his long curls, taking a deep breath, breathing in the tantalizing aroma of Fili's cologne remembering how good it smelled on him last night when he danced so close against him. 

After Fili released his friend, he shoved his hands into his jean pockets, and rocked on his heels feeling much better now. 

"I also came over because I was planning on going to go to the village pub tonight, and wanted to know if you'd want to go with me, and hangout for awhile.” 

“Just you and me?"

Fili grinned knowing Kili was making sure Bard would not be there too. "Yeah. Just you and me." 

*

Kili's level of excitement soared thinking of this little outing as an unofficial date, but a few hours at the pub, reality set in. After the two played a few rounds of pool, he couldn't bite back a bit of jealous rising from within as he had been noticing Fili's attention kept being drawn away by an attractive little brunette woman sitting at the bar with her friend across the room. The two had been exchanging flirty glances all evening, and it was really beginning to irritate him. 

Maybe it was the madness that drove his adrenaline to win their last pool match. The eight ball rocketed into the corner pocket for the win, and without celebration, Kili walked away from the table to put up his pool stick. 

"I'm done. Do you want another beer?" 

"No, thanks. I'm about done for the night, if you are." 

Fili followed putting his pool stick on the rack, and took his seat at the bar next to his friend. He took a drink from the cold bottle, letting his gaze drift to his right to see if he still had the sexy woman's attention in which he certainly did. 

"Hey, Kee...see those hot girls over there? What do you think? Are you interested?" 

Kili glanced at the two dark haired women then caught his friend's crystal blue eyes. 

"No. They're not my type." Casually laying a his hand on Fili's thigh, Kili explained, "I have a thing for blondes." 

At the light touch, something stirred within him. Fili's smile faded, searching Kili's eyes. He quickly looked away, and downed what beer was left in his bottle. Slipping from his barstool, he pulled out his wallet, and handed his friend some cash. 

"Here. Could you pay our tab? I'm going to go talk to them before I go to the restroom, then we'll get outta here." Fili started to walk away finding he may have had more to drink than he thought. He sort of stumbled as he turned back to ask, very sure of himself, "Are you sure you don't want to hook up with one of them?" 

Kili just shook his head, and called the bartender over to pay their tab, keeping an eye on his drunk friend trying to pick up one, or who knows, possibly both of those young women. He was such a flirt, and they'd be ridiculously stupid if they turned him down. 

Once the tab had been paid, and Fili was out of sight, Kili quickly made his way over to the women. They both smiled with obvious attraction to him. 

"Fili said you weren't interested in us. Did you change your mind? Do you want to join us?" 

Heat rose in the brunet's cheeks. "Sorry. I'm taken. And actually that's why I came over here. I thought you should know, Fili's in a relationship with someone." His left eye twitched knowing it was a flat-out lie, but he wasn't going to let these two go anywhere with _his_ lover. 

Both women gasped at the blond's audacity to cheat on his partner, thanking Kili profusely for being honest with them making a quick exit. 

By the time Fili had returned from the restroom, the women were nowhere to be seen. 

"Where'd they go?" 

"They told me to tell you they were sorry, they had to leave. The one wasn't feeling well, so they decided they were just going to go home." 

No one had ever dumped him like that before. Fili stood swaying in place staring at his friend. 

"They left because you wouldn't join us, right?" 

If that's what Fili wanted to believe, then so be it. "Sorry." 

"Let's go." The blond growled. 

Kili knew Fili was upset, and walking behind him toward the car he could plainly see how inebriated he was. Once the drunk fished his keys from the pocket of his jeans, Kili snatched them from his hand. 

"Let me drive." 

The blond snorted, and agreed that would be for the best taking up the passenger seat. All the way home, Kili could feel eyes on him. He refused to say a word, or look at his neighbor until he pulled into Fili's driveway, and parked the car. 

"We're home." 

The air between them inside the car became just as thick with heat as it was outside the longer they sat there unmoving. Kili stared straight ahead out the windshield knowing Fili's eyes were still glued on him. 

He wasn't sure why his friend was staring at him so intensely, but it made him very uncomfortable. 

"It's just you and me now, Kee. Just like you wanted." 

Fili couldn't take his eyes off his friend. He was drunk, and he was angry. Kili screwed up his plans to bed those women, now he was going to have to go home alone, and take care of himself _again!_

Those plans and his anger were instantly washed away when Kili turned to pull him into heated kiss. He wanted this. He needed this. 

When their lips parted, Kili's chest heaved with heavy breath as he begged. 

"Come home with me, Fee! I'm better than those girls! Please, you owe me this! Make up for last night! Stay the night with me. I want you." 

Focused on the sincerity of Kili's desires, Fili was ready to give him whatever he needed, if only to satisfy his own needs. Kili was more beautiful, and desirable than either of those women.

"Please, Fili..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for stopping by to read as well as all the kudos and great comments!


	9. Take It or Leave It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili opens up to Kili about Frerin.

Fili gradually stirred awake as the morning sunlight penetrated his eyelids. His bearings were off, confused before he even opened his eyes. 

“Where am I?” He muttered.

For certain, he wasn’t home. The smell of coffee and bacon frying wafted up the stairs filling the air bringing him to his senses. He yawned and stretched, opening his eyes to find the familiar setting of Kili’s bedroom.

“Oh fuck, what did I do now?”

Slightly hungover, he sat up, and rubbed his face in both hands when he heard his friend coming upstairs.

“Good morning! It must be Sunday because I see an angel!” 

Kili sang, smiling brightly as the morning sun as he entered the room, and sat on the edge of the bed admiring how gorgeous his friend was even in disarray.

Fili gave him a lopsided smirk, and snorted, “That’s the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say, Kee. Don’t ever say that to me again. Or anybody for that matter. And besides…it’s Saturday.”

"Oh yeah." Briefly looking away, Kili blushed with a twinge of embarrassment. 

"Thought you weren't a morning person."

"Taking care of you gave me a good reason to get up early." 

Not so sure where all this dedication and admiration was coming from, Fili began to feel uncomfortable, but knew how extra Kili could be about everything that excited him, and it was obvious he enjoyed his company. 

"Right." The awkwardness left Fili desperately wanted to know why he found himself in his friend's bed again after a drunken night out with him.

"So, what exactly happened last night? The last thing I remember was wanting to pick up some hot girls at the bar, and...wait...did you kiss me?" 

Chewing on his lower lip, Kili wasn't sure how to respond. "Maybe." 

"Why'd you kiss me?" Rubbing his tired eyes, he didn't care, and Kili wasn't answering. "I'm guessing I was really wasted, and you took care of me like the last time we went to the pub." 

Kili confirmed his notion with a nod, and Fili sighed with regret. 

"You're never going to want to go out drinking with me again, are you? Sorry for being such a lousy drinking partner. I refused to believe I was as exhausted as I was before we even went out last night. I just needed a night out. It's been a long, rough week." 

Even if they would've had sex, Kili knew his friend wouldn't have remembered it, so he chose not to tell him how they tried, and failed when Fili passed out before anything could happened.

"It's alright. At least you didn't run out on me this time." Kili took pleasure in watching Fili squirm knowing what he really wanted to ask. "We didn't do anything, Fee." 

_'Good.'_ Fili exhaled in relief. 

"Hey. I made breakfast! Come on down, and eat with me." The cheery host patted the mattress, and hopped off the bed hoping his guest would follow.

The thought of food right now made Fili's stomach churn, warning him not to go there.

"I really shouldn't eat anything right now." Though the disappointment on Kili's face was cause enough for him to quickly change his mind. _'How can someone be so persuasive with a single look! How does he do that?'_ "Okay, but maybe just some toast and coffee...and LOTS of water."

*

Seeing the spread of various breakfast foods prepared and waiting on the kitchen table, Fili felt bad he _felt bad!_ Any other morning, this would have been incredibly inviting to sit down and devour a little bit of everything, it all looked so good. 

"Damn, Kee! You made enough food to feed a small army!"

Kili beamed with pride over all he'd made. 

"I like to cook for others! It gets boring cooking just for myself. You know?" 

Fili knew all too well exactly what he meant. Taking a seat at the table, he remembered in happier times getting up early on a weekend morning to surprise Frerin with a delightful spread of breakfast foods like this. 

"Yeah. I know. I love to cook too, but you're right. I find myself going out to eat a lot these days."

Kili brought his hungover guest a glass of ice water, and a cup of coffee, then took a seat across the table, watching him try to nibble on a dry piece of toast. The burning questions he wanted ask Fili caught in his throat until curiosity force it out of him.

"Fee? Who's Frerin?" 

Fili choked on his toast. Taking a quick, long drink of water, he coughed and sputtered. 

"Why? Where'd you hear that name?" 

Fili knew damn well he'd never spoke Frerin's name to Kili in any previous conversations they'd had, purposefully trying to avoid discussing his ex with him. 

It was obvious to Kili whoever Frerin was, he'd struck a nerve. He had know idea Fili would get so rattled. 

"After we got in bed last night, right before you passed out, you...you threw your arm over me and called me Frerin, and told me you love me. I'm assuming you meant, you love Frerin." 

"Yes. He...he's my ex. And I lov...I loved him. Very much." Grabbing a paper napkin, Fili wiped his mouth. "You slept with me?" 

Glossing over that minor detail, Kili completely ignored the question. "Why'd you split up?" 

"He broke up with me. Like every other person I've ever fallen in love with." The blond grumbled, taking a sip of coffee. "Everyone always leaves me. It just took Frerin longer than anyone else to end our relationship. I thought we'd be together forever. But I fucked up." 

Kili could see the affect this conversation was having on his friend. "I'm sorry, Fee. You don't have to tell me anymore." 

Nodding adamantly, Fili disagreed. "Yes. Yes I do." He wanted to make his story very clear to him, suspecting Kili might be interested in him as more than a friend. 

"You see, no matter how much someone thought they could handle being involved with a stripper, it eventually got to them. I _never_ cheated on anyone. EVER. Stripping completely nude to show-off my body, letting strangers touch me, giving private lapdances, it all felt like cheating, but at the end of the night, I ALWAYS went home to my partner. But just the thought of strangers touching me, ogling me, desiring me, sometimes crossing the line to kiss me, in time all that would wear on my partner. They would become jealous and doubtful. Worrying that I would cheat on them. Especially if I came home late from a private party." 

Holding his coffee mug with both hands, Kili listened intently, hanging on every word of Fili's story. 

"One night, I worked a party at someone's house, and I really liked the guys. They were a fun lot. Everyone was having a great time, and they asked me to stick around to party with them. I should've known better, but I started drinking with them, and eventually got too drunk to drive home. It was getting late, and it was raining." 

Still listening closely, Kili pursed his lips, and let his gaze fall into the dark liquid in his mug. 

"I should've called Frerin, but instead, one of the guys offered to take me home. When he pulled into our driveway, he wouldn't let me out of the car, forcing himself on me. Frerin must've heard the car pull up, and when he came outside, he saw what was going on. He jerked the guy out of the car and punched him, then yelled at me to get in the house. I was so afraid, I thought for sure he was going to beat the shit out of me, but what he did was worse." 

Soulful brown eyes lifted to meet sincere crystal blues, wondering _'What could be worse?'_

"He _ignored_ me. For days. I pleaded with him to listen to me, that I didn't do anything, that that guy forced himself on me. And even though Frerin eventually told me he believed me, it was the last straw for him. We'd already had too many arguments about my job over the two years we were together. I was always able to smooth things over, but not this time. He couldn't take it anymore, and told me we were through. So once again, I moved away with a broken heart to start a new life. Just like I'd done countless other times over the past seven years because no one can _trust_ a stripper." 

When Fili saw Kili's lips part to speak, he cut him off. 

"And before you even say what I know you're thinking, I'll _never_ giving up my career I've worked so hard at to become as successful as I am for _anybody_. I love my job, and if someone wants to be with me, then they have to understand that's a part of who I am, take it or leave it. But regardless, I'm done. I'm done with relationships because it hurts too much to invest my time, my heart and soul into a relationship that I know is doomed before it ever begins. I can't do it anymore, Kee." 

Fili had just poured his heart out, even telling his friend he had no intention of having another relationship, and the only thoughts going through Kili's mind was how _he_ could make this work between them. Fili was all he desired, and he was determined from that moment on to show him how much he cared for him, and could handle his chosen profession if that's what he needed to do. But it was such a twisted thought.

Picking up a few blueberries strewn across a plate of pancakes, Kili popped them into his mouth with little to comment concerning Fili's ex. 

"His loss." 

"Yeah. Life goes on, right?" Telling his story seemed to serve as free therapy for Fili. "Sorry." 

"No. Don't be. I asked, and...you got it off your chest. Like you said, life does go on. I know it does. Whether we're ready or not." 

This conversation was getting too deep for his foggy mind so early in the morning. Fili made mental note to ask Kili about his past the next time they had time to talk alone like this. He reached across the table to take a few berries from Kili's pancakes to eat as well, ready to change the subject.

I'm really sorry you went through all the trouble to make this great food, and I can't eat any of it. Maybe when I get a chance later this week, I'll make dinner for us." 

"I'd like that." Kili would be counting the hours until then. 

When Fili's text alert went off, he groaned knowing who it was, and what it was about. 

"What's wrong?"

"It's Bard. We're starting a new project this morning. I forgot to tell him the address." Flipping through his phone he found a picture of the home with the address to send his co-worker. "It's a really nice house. Want to see?"

"Sure!" Kili took the phone from him to take an interested, thorough look before handing it back. "Yeah, very nice! It looks a lot like ours, but much bigger of course." 

Finally finishing off the single piece of toast, Fili took a few more sips of the hot coffee, then downed the rest of the water in his glass, and got up to leave. 

"You won't be offended if I run off again, will you?" Fili's teasing had an undertone of truth to it. 

Kili grinned and shook his head. "I'm just glad I was able to get you home safe, and you had a good night sleep. Thanks for asking me to hang out with you last night."

"Thanks for going with me. What I can remember, I had fun. Thanks for everything, Kee. I'll see ya 'round." 

The second Fili was gone, Kili's mind went to work while he began wrapping up the excess food. 

*

Standing on the front porch of their latest project, Bard did a double-take seeing his co-worker looking like the walking dead coming up the steps. 

"I see you made it to the pub! Did you hook up with somebody last night?"

"Not exactly. I did too many shots at home before I got there, and I was tired. Kili had to take my drunk ass home again." 

Bard's lips twisted, holding back anything he wanted to say.

"Don't...we're just friends." The blond sat down his toolbox to unlock the front door letting them in. "Let's get to work."

 

The morning hours flew by unnoticed. Busy hands and minds worked hard to tear out and rebuild the old home's kitchen. It was quite a big job, challenging the handymen's skills. Fortunately for Fili, he had all but forgotten his hangover, and all of Kili's questionable behavior this morning, feeling better preoccupied with his work.

Once they got to a good stopping point, the two ate a quick, packed lunch to get right back to work wanting to get as much done as they could. They had barely got started replacing some drywall when they heard someone at the door. 

Thinking it could be the property owner, Fili went to greet the visitor. 

"Hey, Fee!"

Fili blinked in confusion. You know that feeling you get when you see someone in a place you least thought you'd see them?

"Kili? What're you doing here?" His blue eyes shifted, cautiously. "How did you know where to find me?"

"You showed me the picture of the house this morning, remember?"

"Oh yeah. And you got the address from the sale listing under the picture. How...observant of you."

The spunky brunet held up a brown bag, and a water bottle. 

"I figured you'd be feeling better by now, so I brought you a light lunch! Thought we could have lunch together."

"Who is it, Fee?" Bard asked, coming up behind his friend to see Kili standing there. 

Fili felt trapped between the two sets of glaring dark eyes until he heard Bard walking back to the kitchen, and begin working again.

"I'm sorry, I already had lunch, and I really need to get back to work. This is a big job, and we promised the owner to have it done in two days."

"I can help!"

"No! No, Kee. We'll get together soon like I promised." This time with a bit of annoyance, Fili wouldn't let the young brunet's sad, doe eyes have an affect on him. "I gotta go." 

Like a metaphor, the dark stained wooden door closed in his face, and locked. Kili stared at the heavy brass doorknocker feeling rejected. 

"I won't let you shut me out that easily, Fili." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the great comments, kudos, and stopping by to read!


	10. He's Not Stalking Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bard and Fili have a heated discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short, and probably boring. I couldn't write all I wanted to here as planned so I bumped it to the next chapter because it became too long, but this is an important segue into what happens next. Hope this will satisfy until then!

After firmly closing the door on Kili, Fili's focus was to return to work in the kitchen as he picked up a sheet of drywall, and sat it in place ready to start hammering in the first nail. 

Quite roughly, Bard was already hammering away on his own section of the wall so hard Fili was sure he was going to put the hammer through the fragile board.

“What was so important Kili tracked you down here?” Bard asked gruffly, his agitation over Kili's unannounced visit was clear. 

Fili shrugged it off, and began nailing up his section of the wall. 

“He knew I was hung-over this morning, and thoughtfully brought me something for lunch.”

“Mmm…thoughtful. So you told him where you were working today?”

A flashback of handing his cell phone over to Kili reminded Fili of the moment his friend must have spontaneously began plotting his surprise visit. 

“Inadvertently. I showed him a picture of the house, and he must have got the address from the sale listing.”

“You don’t think that’s odd?”

_'Well, yeah, but...'_ “What’re you getting at?”

Letting his arms drop to his sides, Bard let out an incredulous laugh over how stupidly blind his best friend could be.

“He’s infatuated with you, Fili! He's stalking you! How can you not see that?” Bard's tone and volume rose with his anger. 

_'Where is this coming from?'_ Fili's jaw went slack at the same time his hammer dropped to his side as well, turning to face his friend.

“What? No! He's not _stalking_ me! Kili’s just…he’s just a little overzealous about everything.” 

As sarcastically as he could sound, Bard was on a roll, and wasn't letting this go. 

“So he’s not stalking you, he’s coincidentally following you? Like that one crazy bitch you met at the club you were working at right after you hooked up with Frerin a few years ago?” 

"She tried to tell everybody we were married! Kili's my friend! It's nothing like that!" Fili's voice rose to match Bard's. _'Thanks for bringing up that nightmare!'_

Bard didn’t like arguing with Fili, but he obviously could see something his friend couldn’t, and he was very concerned. 

"How many times did he show up uninvited at the pub to join us? How many times did you tell me you ran into him at a store, like every time you went somewhere that first week you moved here? And..." 

Making light of it all, Fili waved his free hand about nonchalantly. "All coincidence, I'm sure. The pub is right down the street from his bookstore, so why not? He's allow to go there when he feels like it." 

“If I had to guess by the way you're defending him, I'd say you've already slept with him.”

Fili wanted this conversation to end. He’d struggled enough with his curious feelings for Kili, he didn’t need his best friend to push him to talk about it, especially not here with so much work yet to do.

“Can we not talk about this right now? We've got too much to do, and we need to take advantage of the time we have to get this done since Nori let us have a few days off. And since when is it any of your business who I fuck anyway?”

Bard rounded on his friend, shoving a pointed finger at his chest. 

"Since you made it my business when I helped you move here, and you made me promise to make sure you didn't fall for anyone again! You did screw him, didn't you?" 

Quietly, Fili mumbled his reply, guilty as charged. 

"Once. It didn't mean anything." 

"Whatever." Bard reached down into a box on the floor to grab another handful of nails to pour into the pouch of his tool belt listening to Fili's exasperated explanation for his actions.

"What? We did it, and it was over with, no big deal! Seriously, just casual sex, it didn't mean anything! We agreed it was like a friends with benefits thing." 

"Really, Fee? Like when we were curious fifteen year olds?" Shaking his head, Bard wanted to laugh, but knew his friend had already made a costly mistake.

"Maybe it didn't mean anything to you, but I see the way Kili looks at you. I'm worried about you. You don't know him that well! What if he is delusional like that woman?" 

Fili didn't want to relive the horror of that psychotic woman stalking him, and Bard had a valid point. He really didn't know that much about Kili. 

"I'm planning on having dinner with him in a couple days. It'll be a good time for us to talk, and I'll try to get to know more about him." 

Looking down at the hammer in his hand, Bard turned back to secure the wall a few more nails. 

Fili knew his best friend meant well, and he could tell he hadn't been able to convince him not to worry. 

"I swear there's nothing between us, and there's not going to be. I admit I find him attractive, but he's my friend, and I don't want to lose that. Especially now since you just met Sarah. You'll be spending all your time with her, and won't want to do anything with me like you do every time you get involved with a woman. I don't like being alone, Bard. And I like hanging out with Kili." 

Continuing to add another section of drywall with hefty hammering, Bard pounded in the nails at a more rapid pace. 

"Fine. Just keep in mind, you live next door to this one. I thought you loved your house, and the neighborhood. Do you really want to have to move again when your neighbor breaks your heart?" Tough love at its best, Bard knew his friend better than he knew himself, and sometimes said hurtful things he'd regret. "You're going to fall hard for him, and when this one fails, don't come knocking on my door drunk at 3a.m. because he doesn't want anything to do with you because he's jealous and can't handle your job anymore!" 

Fili flinched as if he'd literally been punched in the gut. "Wow. Thanks, buddy." 

With much remorse, Bard sighed. "I'm sorry, Fee. You know I don't mean that. I don't want to see you get hurt again." 

"Don't worry. I won't. I swore I wouldn't get involved with anyone again, and I meant it. I don't know how you do it." 

"I always knew going in it was temporary companionship. It's pretty simple, Fee. Some people like to make love, others need to be loved. And to be honest, I'm about ready to give up stripping, and settle down with someone." The tall brunet gave his friend a comforting smile. "You know you were never wrong wanting to be loved. Your time will come when you'll know you're ready to hang up your G-string for good." 

"I'm nowhere near being ready to give it up. I have no intention of quitting for anyone until I can't physically do it anymore, or I'm so old no one wants to watch me anymore whichever comes first." 

Fili turned back to work hammering more nails securing his wall. After a few minutes of silence, he tried to change the subject though it still wasn't a pleasant one. "I told you Frerin answered my text the other day. We've been talking again." 

Bard's heart ached for his friend knowing how much Fili missed Frerin. "That's good." 

"Yeah. Nothing much, but I'm glad he's not ignoring me anymore. I'm hoping someday we can at least be friends again." 

~*~

Fili had been able to avoid seeing Kili when he returned home from work late Saturday night when Bard dropped him off, though he had no idea he had been spotted and watched from his neighbor’s bedroom window. All he wanted to do was take a hot shower, and fall into a deep sleep.

Lying in bed, the exhausted construction worker thought about his conversation with Bard earlier that day. He thought about the exuberance Kili’s possessed when making such a grand breakfast, and the cheerfulness in which he showed up at the work-site with lunch, both in effort to care for him. His friend always seemed to light up like a flame burning bright in the darkness whenever he spoke to him, or showed him any sort of positive attention. 

A slight grin of contentment tugged beneath his moustache. Bard was overreacting. Kili was a vibrant soul, full of energy, and eager to please was all. He noticed his neighbor spent a lot of time alone at home as well. There was no doubt Kili was just as lonely as he was these days. Together they could form a great friendship, and neighborly bond. 

*

Not being able to see Fili anymore after his neighbor closed his blinds, Kili retired for the night to lie in the dark and read until sleep took him. His heart skipped a beat when his text alert sounded unexpectedly at this time of night. 

The message brought a glorious smile to the young man's face, replying instantly to the sender. He picked up his book, and readjusted his reading light. There was no way he was going to sleep anytime soon now. It would take a lot of patience to live through another day and a half until dinner at his neighbor's house Monday evening, but Fili was worth the wait. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I already have a lot written for the next chapter, so hopefully it won't take another week to get it posted ;)  
> Thank you all for the comments, kudos, and stopping by to read!!!


	11. The Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Kili's dinner, and an unexpected end to their evening after a storm changes their plans.

Late Monday afternoon, Kili paced the floor of the bookstore watching the time. Ori didn’t need to ask. He’d been told repeatedly how excited his friend was to finally have a quiet evening alone with Fili. Just the two of them at Fili’s house for a dinner made by the host himself. 

For his own peace of mind, Fili had given Kili strict orders not to arrive at his house until 6 o’clock that evening. This would not only give the cook time to prepare their dinner without someone underfoot, or feeling the need to entertain his guest while he waited, but was also a test to see how well his friend could follow instructions.

With the last piece of silverware laid in place upon the ivory cloth napkin, Fili stepped back to admire his dining room table set with his best dinnerware. It had been a very long time since he'd made such a fuss over a dinner like this, but he loved doing it, and hoped this evening would be a fresh start to begin his friendship with Kili again on a platonic note. 

In all the time they'd spent together before the silence that fell between them, they'd learned they had so many common interests. One, of course, was the love of cooking as well as dining on good food. Kili loved to garden, and his flowers were his pride and joy, but Fili thought maybe they could start a vegetable garden to share in their cooking. Yes, he'd make mental note to discuss this over dinner.

When the doorbell rang, Fili glanced at the time on his stove. Punctual as expected, Kili stood nervously at the door holding a nicely wrapped gift, and a bottle of wine. 

Fili opened the door to greet his guest with a joyful smile, but caught his breath seeing his friend looking so dashingly handsome with his long dark hair fallen over his broad shoulders, dressed up in a nice black t-shirt tucked into a pair of black jeans, and a light, casual slim grey jacket with the sleeves pushed up. His chestnut eyes sparkled like the simple silver chain he wore about his neck, but the bright smile was absent until Fili could find words to speak.

"Hi."

Kili's smile grew into a little snicker. It wasn't often he'd seen Fili speechless. He held out his hands with the gift in one, and the wine bottle in the other.

"Here. These are for you."

The host took the gifts, and inspected the wine.

"Chardonnay! A very fine chardonnay at that! Thank you! This will go perfectly with the chicken piccata I made. Come on in!" 

Kili stepped inside, taking a deep breath to breathe in the delicious aroma coming from the kitchen. "Mmm! Smells wonderful!"

"I'm actually glad you brought this wine. I must admit I almost drank all of the chardonnay leftover I used making our dinner." Fili looked at the wrapped gift in his other hand, and tucked it under his arm to close the front door. "And what's this?"

"Just a little something I got for you from the bookstore." 

It was a very unexpected gesture that left Fili a little embarrassed. "You didn't need to bring anything."

"I wanted to. I know you like to read. It's a fairly new book, it came out earlier this year. I hope you haven't already read it." 

"Well, let me see." Setting down the bottle of wine, Fili ripped off the gold wrapping paper like a kid at Christmas to reveal his gift. "No, I haven't! I honestly haven't had time to do much reading lately, but this looks really good! I'll start reading it as soon as I can. Thank you, Kee!"

"You're welcome." Kili beamed seeing how much Fili truly appreciated his gift. 

This was good, Fili thought. This evening was already starting off on a good note.

*

The conversation over dinner was kept simple as the two relaxed feeling more comfortable than ever together this way. Fili discussed the idea of sharing a vegetable garden with his neighbor, who agreed it was a good idea, and next spring he'd get one started. They talked about a lot of things they'd discussed about themselves in general before. The usual, food, books, movies, music, places they liked to visit. 

Fili couldn't seem to find the right time, or way to bring up questions about Kili's past, but he wasn't going to let another evening go without learning something about him. 

Of course, work was brought up. Mainly Kili asked Fili about his handyman job, and reminded him about the leak in his roof coming through a crack in his bedroom ceiling.

"I think there's a storm brewing tonight. I could feel it in the air when I came over earlier. With fall on its way, we're going to be getting more rain. I know you've been busy, I didn't want to ask."

"I'm sorry I never got around to fixing that leak. I have been very busy lately, but I promise I'll get to it soon as I can."

Kili took a drink from his wine glass, and laid his napkin on the table watching Fili take one last bite from his plate. 

"Doesn't get much better than this."

"What's that?"

"Good food. Good wine. Great company."

Fili gave his friend a nod as he reached for his glass, and held it up across the table. "To us." 

Following suit, Kili lifted his glass to the toast. "To us."

"To friends." The blond added. 

Slightly hesitating, the brunet replied, "To friends." 

After the toast, Fili took a quick drink, and set down his glass. His dimples grew deep with a content smile. "I'll get things cleaned up here, then we can watch a movie, and finish off this wine."

"Sounds good." _"Friends?"_ Kili's dark smirk went unnoticed. _'We're so much more than friends, Fee. Why can't you see that?'_

Out of nowhere, thunder began to rumble with warning of the impending storm as the winds picked up, and the sky turned dark with clouds heavy with rain. 

"You don't have any windows open at home, do you?" Fili asked his neighbor out of concern, but he assured him he didn't.

The host began clearing the dining room table taking the dirty dishes to the kitchen sink to rinse. Kili brought in his plate, and a few other items to help. 

Fili smiled appreciatively. "Thanks. I've got this." 

Kili took his cue to stand aside, and let his friend work, leaning against the kitchen counter with his wine glass watching his friend flit here and there until the dining room table was clear.

The host pulled a few bowls from a cupboard above where he stood to begin storing some leftovers. 

Kili couldn't take his eyes off his friend's perfect ass filling out his tight fitting jeans. Swishing the wine about in his glass, he took another drink before quietly setting it down. 

"So Kee, what kind of movie would you'd like to watch? I have a little bit of..."

Fili's thought was cut short, instantly forgotten when Kili drew back the blond's long curls exposing his neck, leaning in with intent to trail light kisses up to his ear. Out of the corner of his eye, Fili thought fast to grab the nearby wine bottle, and spin around to use it as a barrier between them.

"Why don't you take this, and our glasses out to the living room, and see if you can find a movie for us to watch. I'll finish cleaning up here, then I'll be out."

 _'Don't ruin this, Kee! Please!'_ Silently Fili pleaded hoping Kili would take the wine, and go.

Lifting a brow, the brunet wet his lips seductively with a wicked grin. "Sure." He took the bottle from his friend, picked up his glass then found Fili's glass, and left the kitchen.

It had become quite apparent, Kili was interested in being more than friends this evening. His suggestive looks, and the occasional sexual innuendo during their dinner conversation was unmistakably clear how he thought this evening was going to end. Fili wasn't sure how, but he knew he needed to set Kili straight about their relationship if he continued to pursue him this way. 

*

The young men sat on the couch to watch the lame movie they'd chosen, sharing the rest of their wine, laughing, making comments about the show now and then. The evening really had gone better than expected, until an hour into the show, a roar of thunder shook the house as loud crack of lightening took out a transformer up the street, knocking out the electric. 

"Great." Fili grumbled. "I'll be right back." 

Wasting no time, the host gathered up a few candles to light the darkened living room, and looked out a window for a few minutes to watch the strong winds and blowing rain before returning to join this friend. 

“Looks like the entire neighborhood lost power." The blond stretched, and made himself comfortable relaxing back on the couch. "Oh well. It wasn’t that great of a movie anyway.”

Unfazed by the slight inconvenience, Kili didn’t mind sitting in the candlelight with Fili. In fact, he found the soft glow of the flame shimmering in his friend's crystal blue eyes much more engaging to watch than the movie. 

"I'm sure we can think of something else to do." 

"Hmm. I'm sure.” There was nothing subtle about what Kili had in mind. Locking eyes with his guest, Fili wasn't about to let his attractive friend affect him, or let his feelings stray. “You know, you've never told me any stories about your past. I’d like to get to know you better. Could you tell me something about yourself? Your childhood, teen years, college…lovers? " 

"Well, that's boring." Kili shifted his position moving closer to his friend. "What do you say we we go upstairs for a little bit? That would be way more fun and interesting than talking about me.” The glint of playfulness had returned, reflected in his dark, sultry eyes. 

Fili scooted over the couch cushion, backing away enough to keep Kili at bay. 

“What happened to the whole friends with benefits thing?" 

"Why're you avoiding my question?" 

"Why're you avoiding mine?" 

"You answer my question, and I'll answer yours." 

Defeated, Kili pouted. 

"What do you want to know? That I grew up with a mom and step-dad that ignored me? No matter what I did, my step-dad would tell me how stupid I was, and I’d never amount to anything. I spent most of my time locked in my room reading because no one wanted me around. Exciting shit. Your turn."

Slipping in another question, Fili took the opportunity to learn more. "What about your dad?"

"I loved my dad! He was my best friend. He died right before I turned thirteen. He was barely in the ground a day when my mom starting whoring around to find a man to take his place. She married my step-dad because he had money. She was so up his ass, she had no time for me." 

Kili was visibly sadden, and a tad agitated talking about his childhood, and Fili almost felt bad for dredging up his friend's apparent painful memories, though he was hoping for more. It was evident, he'd only scratched the surface. 

"I'm sorry, Kee. I had no idea..."

"No, you didn't. Now you do. You still haven't answered my question. Can we go to your room?" 

"We're just friends, Kee, and nothing more. I was hoping tonight would be a new beginning for us." 

Bouncing his knee up and down, Kili sat back, and began to fidget playing with his fingers, looking away, chewing on his lower lip, he mumbled, "We've already had sex, why can't we do it again?"

Steadfast in his notion, Fili had to make this boy understand. "Because I know you want more than sex from me. Am I right?" 

"What's wrong with that? Why won't you give me a chance, Fee?" 

Kili looked like a pleading child. The mistake of taking their friendship to another level that fateful night seemed to have ruined all hope for the friendship Fili hoped they could have. 

"Because I already know it won't work, and I don't want to risk our friendship." 

Remembering his conversation with Bard, Fili tried to make Kili understand using some of the wisdom his friend had shared. 

"Some people need to make love, and others need to be loved, Kee. And I believe you're one of those that need to be loved. I'm sorry, I can't give you what you want."

"I don't need to be _loved_ to be satisfied in a relationship. I've been there before. I don't care if we only have casual sex, I'll do whatever you want for you to be mine. Love is something I desire, but it's not necessary for companionship." 

Disturbing as it was, it was obvious there were secrets Kili kept locked inside he wasn't ready to share. 

"To be honest, I thought about trying to have a casual relationship with you, but I don't think you could handle it."

"Don't you think that's for me to decide? I'm pretty sure _casual_ defines all my past relationships." 

Something about how unstable Kili was presenting himself was intriguing Fili, but he certainly wasn't prepared for the reaction that would follow. 

"Then tell me...If I was to lay with you tonight, and someone else tomorrow, do you really think you'd be okay with that?" 

"Maybe you should ask yourself the same question!" Angry with himself, and upset that Fili couldn't see how perfect they were together, Kili pushed off the couch, and stormed toward the front door. 

"Kili, wait!" Chasing after his friend, Fili reached out to grab him by the arm. 

In a flash, Kili had him stepping back slightly frightened. The usual glint of joy in those sparkling brown eyes had turned dark with lust, and curiously alluring as he spoke in a low, enchanting tone mere inches from his friend's lips. 

"I know you haven't stopped thinking about our night together...at the club...in my bed. It's all I've been able to think about since."

Being in this position was a bit disconcerting for Fili to say the least. 

"Kili, I was just doing my job! I did what you paid me for!" 

"I didn't _pay_ you to have sex with me! You wanted it as much as I did!" 

"I thought you understood! It was just sex, it didn't _mean_ anything! I'm sorry if you thought there was anything more between us!" 

"It meant something to me! I wanted you. I gave myself to you! I know you don't remember it, or maybe you do and won't admit it, but you were more than willing to have sex with me again the other night, but you passed out before we could do anything!" 

"I-I did? Kili, I'm..." The finger placed over Fili's lips silenced him.

"Don't! I'm used to being used. And I'm okay with that. I'm not mad at you. I'm angry with myself because I must have done something wrong for you to not want me now." 

Wide-eyed, Fili blinked in confusion. Everything was falling apart, spiraling out of control again. 

Kili started to open the storm door, but suddenly turned back, hooking a hand behind Fili's neck, and his other arms about his waist to pull him into a forced, heated kiss. With another rumble of thunder, the torrential rain began falling as loud as the beating of his heart. 

Instinctively, Fili grabbed Kili's arms with intent to push him away, but restrained in his friend's tight embrace, he slowly ceased to struggle, surrendering his will to Kili as their long kiss turned sensually languid leaving him breathless with an intoxicating need for more once he was finally released.

"Try not to think about that when you go to bed alone tonight." 

Taking a step out the door onto the porch, Kili graciously gave his friend a nod, "Thank you for a lovely evening, Fee. See ya 'round." 

The storm door closed with a bang as another bolt of lightening lit up the dark street followed by a roar of thunder, and Fili's neighbor disappeared down the steps through the pouring rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments, kudos, and stopping by to read!!!  
> I'm enjoying writing this story, and you all have kept me very inspired! ♥


	12. Attention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili meets Ori, and learns more about Kili leaving him wanting to protect his friend from everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter grew too long for my liking, so I pushed a lot of it over to chapter 13 which I'll be finishing up, and posting later today.

The stormy night had given way to a very wet, but beautiful morning though somewhat cooler than days passed. With blue skies above, and a spring in his step, Fili’s boots sloshed along the cobblestone sidewalk of the old village shopping district. After a good nights rest and a positive attitude, he wasn’t letting a few rain puddles dampen his spirits. 

He was on a mission to speak with Kili, hoping all that happened between them last night was in part due to a bit too much wine. Not to mention, he was determined to make his friend tell him more about his past after the disturbing way he described all his past relationships as people who only used him. 

On this sunny day, the village was alive with retirees and young college people, and as usual one of the most frequented shops was Kili’s Uncle Thorin’s quaint little bookstore/café due to its location near the local university. 

Fili stopped outside the shop pausing for thought, standing at the door wondering how Kili would receive his unexpected visit. Greeting a fellow shopper politely, he opened and held the shop door for them to enter, then stepped inside. 

The clang of the bell over the heavy wooden door had the busy cashier glancing up from tending to his paying customer only for second to note someone new had walked in. There had been so many people in and out this morning, Ori didn’t recognize the blond man right away until the visitor captured his full attention. 

Standing near the entrance taking a quick look around, Fili tucked his hands into the pockets of his light jacket, and greeted the cashier with a friendly smile, "Hello!" 

Ori did a double-take when he recognized his newest customer, “Hello!” 

The blond man took a step toward the checkout counter, still scanning the small, but charming shop for his friend. “I’m looking for Kili. Is he here?” 

Ori shook his head looking a bit frazzled, “No, I'm sorry, he's not. Is there something I can help you with?” 

“No. Thanks. I'm Kili's neighbor. I just wanted to stop in and talk to him for a minute. I thought he’d be here today.” 

“He was supposed to be here, but I had to call his uncle to let me in this morning. I don’t know where he is." The cashier went about wrapping a small package for a customer, and grinned. "You’re Fili. He talks about you…a lot.”

Fili lit up catching sight of the small pin on Ori’s knitted vest. “You’re Ori! Kili’s best friend. He mentions you quite often too. Good to finally meet you!”

“You too!" Wavering a bit, wondering if he should tell on himself, the little ginger added, "I’m a little embarrassed to say, though we haven’t officially met, I have _seen_ you before…" The bashful cashier made sure no one was close by when he whispered, "At my cousin’s strip club!”

Fili quirked his head with a grin, "You're Nori's cousins? Small world! We've been friends for many years. In fact, he's the one that got me into performing."

Because he couldn't stop the memorable visions of Fili naked on the club stage, Ori couldn't hide he blush that warmed his cheeks. "You're a very good stri...performer...sorry."

Unashamed of his late night career, Fili's chest swelled with pride. "Don't be! Thank you! I work hard at my profession." 

The blond stepped aside letting Ori tend to a customer paying for her goods, then gave the young lady a friendly smile as she walked by leaving the store.

"Hey Ori? Do you mind if I ask you a few questions about Kili? I know he's your friend, and all, but he said some things last night that made me very curious, and I was hoping maybe you could clarify a few things for me."

"Like what?"

"He told me his dad died when he was young, then his mother remarried, and apparently he didn't get along with either of them, but I'd like to know something about his exes. He made it sound like everyone used him. Is that true?"

"For the most part. Kili was a doormat. He craved attention, and if anyone he was attracted to showed the slightest interest in him, he'd think think they were bonded somehow. Especially if they had sex." Giving Fili a sidelook, the blond wince. "He was so eager to please anyone who would show him any attention or affection, he would let them order him around, and he'd do anything to please his partner...man or woman. I think that all stemmed from the way his mother and step-dad treated him."

This didn't sit well with Fili, the thought of anyone treating his friend that way, and he chastised himself for even thinking about having a casual relationship with him. 

"That does explain a few things." 

Ori didn't want to undermine his friend's trust by saying too much to this man he just met, but he was willing to offer more information he felt was important for Fili to know, if he didn't already. "Did he tell you how his dad died?" 

"No. No, he didn't." This piqued Fili's curiosity even more for Kili's best friend to offer up such info. 

"I've only known Kili for about three years. We met in college. So what I'm going to tell you, is only coming from what he told me." Gaining the blond's serious attention, he continued. "Kili and his dad were very close, and he worshiped the ground he walked on. Apparently his mother had been having an affair with someone, and when his dad found out, of course there was a lot of arguing between them, and Kili withdrew." 

Fili may have been physically strong, but Ori noted how his story seemed to have weakened him emotionally. The blond was looking around seemingly distant, but still listening. 

"One night when Kili's mom didn't come home, his dad got really drunk, and went out to look for her, and, well, there was an accident..." Lifting his soft brown eyes to meet Fili's blue eyes swimming in tears, the little ginger wondered if he'd touched on something close to his heart as well to be so moved by this information. "Are you okay, Fili?" 

The teary blond dried his eyes, and took a cleansing breath. "Yeah. Sorry. Brought back some memories of my own. I wasn't as young as Kee when it happened, but I lost my mom, and I really miss her. Sort of lost my dad and my little brother a few years later. Haven't seen them since." Fili's lips turned a quick grin. "Thanks for sharing with me, Ori." 

"I thought you should know." Ori continued to work, stacking a few books to place under the counter, then checked his cell. "Fili, I don't really know you, and I don't know what your intent with Kili is, but...he's fragile. I've wanted him to get help for years, but he refuses. Just don't hurt him. He's very special to me." 

"I see that. No worries. My intent is to be a good friend and neighbor. Seems he's been through a lot, and he's been very misguided. I want to help him, if I can. He deserves to be treated with respect, but he also needs to learn how to respect others...and me. He needs to know his boundaries. I'm sure he hasn't told you everything that's happened between us."

"No, and just as well. But if you don't already know, Kili thinks there is something between you two. If you don't care for him the same, you need to be firm with him, and make him understand. He needs someone to truly love him, and teach him what that really means, but if that's not you, don't play with his emotions." _'I've tried, but he doesn't feel the same for me.'_

With all his heart, Ori loved Kili, and only wanted to see him happy, and being treated right by someone, and though he would've never guessed in a million years a stripper would be that person to fill that role, Fili was clearly more than eye-candy. He had a big heart, and it was obvious he genuinely cared about Kili whether or not the two of them would ever be more than friends. 

"Falling in love is not on my agenda. I promise I'll watch out for him as if he were the little brother I had." Fili reached out a hand for Ori to shake. "It was good to meet you. Thanks for your time. You're a good friend, Ori. Kili's lucky to have you." 

~*~

It was Fili's first full day off of work, and though he thought he should relax when he returned from the bookstore, he took this opportunity to work on Kili's roof knowing more rain and storms were predicted in the forecast this week. 

By late afternoon, his repairs had been made with care not to smash any of Kili's prized asters. Checking his cell, he hadn't received a text from Ori as he'd asked him to let him know if his friend ever showed up at work, nor had Kili returned home yet. 

As the sun went down, Fili washed a few dishes by hand, glancing out the kitchen window now and then checking for Kili's car, or for any lights on inside the house next door, but the longer he waited, the more concerned he became for his friend. Almost every night since he moved in, Kili faithfully watered his flowers, or weeded their beds, whichever they needed most.

Not sure why he did it because Fili admitted he didn't much care for tending plants, he took the time to walk over and inspect the colorful pristine flowerbed alongside his neighbor's house to pull a few stray weeds for him. He gathered the handful of weeds, tossed them in Kili's compost bin alongside the garage, and wiped his dirty hands on his jeans without a care knowing he would be changing clothes after a shower to go to the pub later on. 

On his way back home walking by the flowerbeds, noticing what a difference he'd made felt oddly satisfying. The flowers though beautiful and strong still needed a loving hand to protect, and care for them. 

~*~

Perched on his barstool pulled up to the bar with a cold beer in hand, Fili sat all alone staring blankly at the baseball game playing on the television mounted on the wall behind the barmaid. _'Baseball is so slow...I'd rather watch grass grow.'_

From the corner of his eye, for the longest time he noticed someone watching him. At a glance, the man was incredibly hot with long, curly dark hair, and smoldering dark eyes. _'Okay, Fee...make eye contact...say something...make the first move...'_

"Hey. How's it going? Have I seen you here before?" 

Stubbing his cigarette out in the ashtray, the clean-shaven man grinned, delighted to finally have a the blond's attention. Out of a nervous habit, the brunet raked his fingers through his messy curls, and adjusted his fingerless gloves. 

"I don't know, maybe. I don't come here that often though. My name's John."

Without realizing how long he stared at John, Fili finally responded when the tall, lithe man left his barstool at the end of the bar to take a seat next to him. 

"I'm Fili. Sorry. You look like someone I know." 

"I hope that's a compliment!" The man's laughter was as infectious as his smile, and at that moment, Fili thought he could stare at him forever this way.

"It is. Trust me, it is." _'Why does he have to look so much like Kili?'_

John was equally as taken with Fili's laughter, and adorable dimples when he smiled. The two easily made conversation getting along like long-lost friends. They were so comfortable with each other, Fili agreed to go home with this man he just met after an hour of getting acquainted. 

The time the two men shared talking and laughing had gone by unnoticed, oblivious to other patrons in the pub when a scuffle broke out behind them at the far end of the pub near the pool tables. When they turned around to see what was going on, Fili gasped seeing who was involved, and shouting the loudest. 

"Kili?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued...and btw, no worries about a crossover with John Mitchell - this is the first and last we'll see of him ;)  
> Thank you everyone for all the awesome comments, kudos, and stopping by the read!!! <3


	13. Patience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The continuation of Kili's bar scuffle, and Fili's protective nature. Fili's patience is tested, but stronger than ever after Kili finally tells him what he's wanted to know for so long.

Without hesitation, Fili quickly slid off his barstool when he caught sight of Kili trying to pull away from an unsavory looking man holding onto his arm. "I'll be back, John." 

“Why would I want to go anywhere with you, dickhead?! Fuck off!” Twisting his arm in effort to free himself from the man's bruising grip, Kili’s heart was about to pound out of his chest dodging a slap to the face. 

Fili strode up to the quarrelsome two. Glaring at the stranger abusing his friend, he restrained himself from punching the man's ugly face through the back of his skull. “What’s going on here, Kili?”

“This asshole won’t take NO for an answer! He won't leave me alone!” Kili was seething, shifting eyes between the man holding him, and his friend. 

“Who's this, Kili? Maybe he'd want to join us.” The vile man squeezed Kili's arm even tighter, and let out a mocking belly laugh seeing how much he could rile the brunet. "Don't give me that look, you fucking whore! I remember how much you liked our threesomes, don't lie!" 

With the best aim possible, Kili spit in the man's face. "Fuck you!" 

Just as Kili jerked his arm free, the man lunged at him. Fili shoved his friend behind him standing between the two getting in the stranger’s face, he blocked him from taking another step forward. The brazen, loud-mouthed man quickly shut up and backed down sizing up the little bodybuilder jabbing a pointed finger into his chest, noticing they had drawn the attention of everyone around them. 

“I believe my friend said to fuck off, and no means NO, you fucking prick! Let's go, Kee. We're outta here." Fili kept an eye on the man making sure he wasn't going to follow them walking toward the front of the pub. "I need to pay my tab. Wait here, and I'll be right back." 

Before leaving with Kili, Fili went the bar to throw some cash to the barmaid to pay his tab, and apologize to his very understanding new friend that he needed to take his neighbor home. 

*

The rain had returned coming down in buckets again, and by the time Fili got Kili into his car, they were soaked. As they sat there wet, cold, and shivering with the car engine running, waiting for the heat to kick in, Fili's mind raced with so many questions, he didn't know where to start. 

"Thank you." Kili said just shy of a whisper. He was still visibly angry, biting his nails, and too ashamed to look at his friend who opted to use a gentle, understanding approach to his interrogation. 

"How long have you been here? I'm sorry I didn't see you, I would've sat with you if I knew you were here." 

"Pfft! Why? Looked like you were just fine without me." 

The blond cocked a brow. "Were you...following me?" 

"No. I was already there when you showed up. I didn't think you'd want to see me, so I stayed out of sight. Besides, I saw you getting cozy with your _new_ friend." 

"You should've joined us." Fili said, ignoring the snarky comment. 

"Three's a crowd." The bitter indignation reflected in Kili's tone. "And I loathe threesomes contrary to what that asshole said." 

"You know that's not what I meant." Fili rolled his eyes. "I've been looking for you today. You had me worried. Where've you been all day? You didn't show up for work. Did you even go home last night?" Still dressed in the same clothes he had on the night before, the answer to the last question was obviously irrelevant. 

_'He was worried about me?'_ "How did you know I didn't go to work?"

"I went to your bookstore this morning. I wanted to talk to you. When I stopped in, I met your friend, Ori. He said you never showed up, and he had to call your uncle to let him in. They were worried about you too." The blond swiped a hand over his face to rid his beard of the dripping rainwater, and started driving home. 

"I know." Kili sighed. "Uncle Thorin called me, and texted until I finally showed up at his house late this morning. After I left your house last night, I drove around all night until I decided I shouldn't worry him, so I went to his house to sleep. I stayed there until I came here." 

"So who was that guy at the pub? Did you know him?"

Knowing Fili didn't know anything about his latest ex, Kili tried to explain. "He's friends with my ex. He really is a prick."

Fili already didn't like the sound of this. 

"Do you want to elaborate on that?"

The post lamps along the streets of the quiet neighborhood seemed to melt in the rain mesmerizing Kili as he mumbled, "I'd rather not." 

There was much Fili still wanted know, and he wasn't about to let Kili stop talking now. 

"Kili, I'm trying to be your friend. I won't judge. Tell me. Please." It was clear however Kili knew that man, wasn't for any good reason. 

"My ex, Thranduil...let him have sex with me because he liked to watch me getting fucked. When he got tired of watching, he'd join us. It was so humiliating."

"What do you mean, he _let him?_ Like you were property that could be shared? You couldn't say you didn't want to do that?"

Kili felt so dirty hearing it said out loud. _'Why did I ever let that disgusting pig touch me?'_

The memories sent a shiver of another kind up Kili's spine. "I would _never_ tell Thranduil I didn't want to do something he ask of me. He always threatened to leave me if I didn't do what he wanted. I didn't want to lose him. I'd do anything to please him." Looking back on now how his boyfriend had treated him, Kili felt numb to it as if had all been a bad dream. He too swiped a hand over his beard trying to dry it. "They used me whenever they felt like it." 

Fili's heart sank, feeling sick for his friend. "Oh, Kee..." 

The car pulled into the driveway, and the two sat motionless in silence for a minute or two, then Kili leaned over the console to kiss his friend. At first, Fili thought it was going to be a simple, chaste kiss, but quickly learned it wasn't. 

Feeling a warm hand moving up his thigh, Fili pulled back. "Kili, stop." Placing his hand over Kili's to keep him from advancing any further, the blond wasn't sure how to handle this delicate situation, but he knew it had to stop before it started. 

Kili pleaded, "Let me suck you, Fee. I love giving head, and I'm really good at it! I want to thank you for standing up for me back there. No one's ever done that for me before." 

Fili's brow furrowed in confusion. 

"You already thanked me, that was enough. We're just friends, Kee. And performing sexual acts is no way to thank someone, okay?"

"But Thranduil said..."

"I don't care what asswipe said! You're better than that! I won't use you that way." Fili's patience was being tested. He certainly didn't want to upset Kili, but enough was enough. 

"But you know how I feel about you, Fee. I'd do anything for you!"

"Kili, do you not hear yourself? You just told me how you let Thranduil and his friend _use_ you because you'd do anything for him! We're just friends, and I won't use you that way. Please! Have some respect for yourself, and me!"

Even more ashamed being scolded, Kili sat back in his seat. "I'm sorry."

"What did you ever see in Thranduil, anyway? What was so great about him that you let him treat you like dirt?"

Hanging his head, the brunet knew the answer, but mauled it over trying to analyze the reasons for himself before he replied. "He was charming. He was older than me, and told me he'd take care of me. We had sex the first night we met at a bar, and he told me he loved me." 

When Kili lifted his sad, dark eyes to meet with Fili's, the blond wanted to strangle that man he'd never met, and hold his friend in his arms to protect him forever. 

"Do you want to come in, and have some tea? You can sleep on my couch if you want to, and I'll take you to the bookstore in the morning on my way to work."

For the first time, Kili realized Fili really was different from all the others he's ever fallen for. The feeling was so foreign to him that this man honestly cared about his well-being. It was so unfortunate Fili couldn't see how perfect they were together, but Kili knew they were bonded even if his friend denied it. 

After changing out of his wet clothes into some of Fili's pajama bottoms, and a t-shirt, Kili gratefully drank his cup of hot tea with Fili as they enjoyed the calm of just sitting quietly together. When he finally got sleepy, he snuggled into the throw pillow on Fili's couch, and let his friend cover him with a soft blanket. 

The dim light glowed from the other room shedding enough light for Fili to sit next to Kili to watch him for a moment. He adjusted the blanket to cover his friend some more, and brushed his damp bangs from his eyes, and wondered if time would've made any difference. _'What a shame we didn't meet many years ago, my friend.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments, kudos, and stopping by to read!!! <3


	14. What Are You Doing Here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori gives a few of his performers an opportunity to think about, and Fili finds himself having to put Kili in his place one more time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The opportunity Nori has for them will be revealed in another chapter.

“You don’t like it, you have a right not to enter, but don’t try to shut down my business because you don’t approve of it, am I right?! I’m providing a service here! I made sure this would be the safest, classiest strip club this side of mountains, and we’re not hurting anyone! And by the looks of my bank account, a lot of people want the services my club provides!” Nori laughed out loud, slamming a palm on his sleek modern desk coaxing his guest on Skype to join in the boisterous laughter before their conversation gradually turned serious again. “I’ll talk to a few of my performers tonight, but keep in mind it’ll take sometime to get everything together. Promise I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.” 

Shifty, shady, whatever people called Nori, the strip club owner couldn’t care less what they thought of him, or how he made his fortune. In his mind, he was the most intelligent businessman in this town, and he honestly didn’t give a rats ass if people didn’t like him or his particular establishment. He wasn't uncouth, or selfish in any way, and these days there was nothing shady about the man. Nori was a hard working businessman. 

Though he always had a stray-eye for any business venture that could potentially bring in more cash, Nori adored his performers, truly caring about them as friends more than his employees always looking out for their best interest, and had no problem sharing the wealth with them. For without them, his business wouldn't be as successful as it was. 

~~~

Breathless, and smiling from ear-to-ear, proud of his first performance of the evening, Fili was greeted backstage by Lindir handing him a bottled water, and his dressing robe. 

"Nori's back from his business trip. He wants to speak with you in his office after you get your shower." Wearing a smirk, Lindir shrugged. "He's in a great mood, so..."

Slipping into his robe, Fili laughed, "If there's money involved in whatever scheme he's planning, and somehow he's going to drag me into it, I'm sure!"

After a quick shower, Fili got comfortable in a t-shirt and sweat pants, and walked up to Nori's office. With a sharp knock on the door, he heard his boss shout for him to enter. 

_'What's he up to now?'_ Seeing Bard, and two of their female dancers, Scarlett and Saige, seated around the office waiting on him to arrive, Fili took the chair next Bard sharing a look. 

"Fili! Great seeing you again! Come! Join us!" Nori waved to one of his assistants standing nearby, who promptly carried a tray of drinks for the four performers to take their pick, then left them to their private business. "Now that we're all here, let's get this party started, shall we?"

After all was said and done, Fili walked with Bard to his friend's dressing room while the brunet quietly contemplated Nori's offer, though Fili was ecstatic over the deal. 

"This is something we've always dreamed about, Bard! I can't believe we're getting a shot at this!" It was obvious to Fili, Bard wasn't sharing in his excitement. "What's up? Why aren't you excited about this? We used to talk about this all the time!"

"When we were younger." Bard chewed nervously on his lower lip, and looked around his room. The dressing room he'd made his private getaway, where now innocent photos of his new adorable girlfriend, Sarah lined his lighted mirror replacing porn pictures of unknown men and women. "Fili...I'm not sure I want to do this anymore."

Dumbstruck, Fili was sure his friend needed time to think, but this... "I...I guess Nori could ask someone else, but I don't want to do this without you..."

"I'm not talking about that, Fee. I don't think I want to be a stripper anymore." 

"Is this because of Sarah?" Fili always worried a woman would come between their friendship someday, but he knew deep down this was not the case. 

"No. Yes. No. Not really. I've given it a lot of thought lately. I'm ready to settle down. I know I haven't known Sarah very long, and even if she's not the one for me, I know I'm ready for a real relationship with someone. I would like to start a family in the next couple years with someone. I don't want to be in my late thirties or forties to start having kids, but I know a family is what I want now."

"Cool." Fili snorted, and grinned. What could he say? Bard had been his best friend forever, and always had his back. He would support him no matter what. "Follow your dreams, bro. No regrets. I'll be happy for you whatever you decide for yourself, you know that." 

*

Alone in his dressing room, Fili sat at his vanity propping his head up in the palm of his hand, staring at himself in the mirror. How much heartache he brought upon himself choosing his stripping career over any of the people he'd had relationships with. Lifting his phone, he checked to see if Frerin ever answered his last text. 

The knock on his door brought Fili back to the real world hearing Lindir calling his name. "Fili! You're on in two minutes, get out here!"

It was late Saturday night, and for the last performance of the night, Fili was dancing with Scarlett, Saige, and Elladan. _'Should've been Bard!'_ Fili whined to himself. Sometimes the short, stocky blond hated having to perform choreographed routines with other performers. Especially Elladan because he was such his opposite being so tall, and lean with that long, straight, dark, billowing hair of his, but they were all good friends, and Fili loved the high he got from the energy of the routine the four of them did together. 

"Dan, could you please try to keep the hair flips to a minimum this time? Even the girls know how to control their hair not to smack me in the face!"

Shifting his hips, the lithe brunet shot his short counterpart a sassy look, sifting his thin fingers through his long locks. "Jealous, darling?" Though Elladan secretly had a crush on Fili, he really just liked to razz him now and then. 

"Pfft, no! Everybody loves my blond curls!" Everyone laughed as Fili elbowed his friend teasingly. 

As they were introduced to the crowd, the blond slapped his hands together, and led their way on stage. "Okay, guys! We have someone very important to impress tonight, so let's show 'em how it's done!"

The four dancers took their place on-stage, and the song "Tonight (I'm Fucking You)" by Enrique Iglesias began to play, and the colored lights and laser flashed in rhythm as their show began.

Taking turns on the different poles, working the crowd from the main stage all the way down the catwalk to the circle stage protruding into the audience, the two men and two women dancing to the high energy song had everyone's attention. Each one took a turn in the spotlight, dancing, and teasing the crowd, showing a little more skin as the song progressed until the only things any of them were wearing was their G-strings.

Elladan and Scarlett, then Fili and Saige paired off dancing together in a routine simulating sexual moves, and just as Saige shimmied down in front of her partner, everyone faded away as Fili locked eyes with Kili watching from a table away from the crowd around the stage.

The expressionless look Kili wore morphed into a smirk as the brunet realized he's been spotted. Taking a drink of beer from his bottle, he intentionally tried to tease his friend, seductively swirling his tongue around the lip of the bottle. 

Suddenly Saige jumped up, and shoved her partner back. "Fili! What're you doing?!" 

When Fili glanced back into the audience, Kili was gone. For that crazy second in time, Fili had no idea what he'd done, but his dance partner was seriously pissed-off, though they got through the rest of the performance without a hitch.

All the blond could hear backstage after their performance was the raven haired female ranting to the other two dancers about what a stupid, unprofessional thing he had done until she physically pushed him again. "Don't you _ever_ fucking shove your dick into my face like that again! What's wrong with you?!" 

Disappointed in his friend, Elladan had to agree with Saige. "That wasn't cool, Fee. That could've ruined everything for us!" 

"I'm sorry! Saige, I swear I didn't do that on purpose!" Right now all he wanted to do was get to his dressing room, take a cold shower and go home. _'I swear I didn't know what I was doing! Oh shit! Nori's never going to let me hear the end of it!'_

With the other three strippers gone on their way, Fili entered his dressing room, and slammed the door finding he wasn't alone. 

"What're you doing here?" The blond growled.

Kili knew better, but he'd grown tired of trying to give his friend some space by not having any contact with him, only watching Fili from his bedroom window the past few days and nights wanting to see him naked up close, and personal now. 

"I missed you. And you told me how you had to take care of yourself after a good show like that. .." Kili left the vanity chair, slinking toward his friend with lust in his eyes, wearing a mischievous grin. "Thought I could help get you off. Courtesy of a friend." 

Lindir threw open the door in a panic. "I'm sorry, Fili! I tried to stop him! Should I get Dwalin?" 

Calmly Fili glared at Kili, and answered his co-worker, "No. I'll take care of him. Leave us." 

Once Lindir was gone, Kili kept his pace toward his friend until the blond was pressed against the door. They both reached for the doorknob, but Kili got to it first to lock it. 

Fili swallowed thickly feeling his friend so close. "Why're you doing this, Kili? Why do you keep trying to tempt me like this?"

The temperature seemed to rise with every heavy breath between them.

"Tempt? That's an interesting word for you to use." With a wicked grin, Kili wet his lips. "If I'm tempting you, then you must have some desire for me even if you know it might not be a good thing." 

Unlocking the door, Fili gently, but sternly pushed Kili back. "Go home, Kili. You shouldn't be here." 

"But..." Kili was disappointed, sure he could break Fili's will one more time, but that was not meant to be. 

In the same manner Fili hadn't put space between them, he spoke sternly, but with kindness. "I mean it. In fact, I don't think you should come back to the club at all. Am I clear?" 

*

Kili stood at his window watching Fili come home, going to his bedroom to strip down for bed, hoping this night he would leave the blinds open, and the nightlight from the bathroom would be bright enough to still see him. 

Hurt that his friend had banished him from the strip club, now this was all he had to look forward to. Between the glass windows, he could touch himself while watching his heart's desire, and fantasize about how it felt when Fili lusted for him right before they had sex, and how it felt sleeping next to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for all the comments, kudos, and stopping by to read!!! <3


	15. Why?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili has an epiphany when he shares a serious, quiet moment alone with Fili learning much more about his stripper friend.

When you fall in love, your world seems to revolve around that one person, all consuming your thoughts in everything you see or hear. 

For Kili, believing he and Fili were together though Fili couldn't see it yet, it was hard for him to back-off. Being the son of a self-centered mother, putting himself out there to be noticed was the norm for him. Worried if he wasn't being noticed, he'd be forgotten, even though the last time he stayed away from his friend, Fili welcomed him back, even admitted he missed his company. 

Days after his uninvited visit to Fili's dressing room, Kili took a step back to give Fili some space, for the first time sensing he was being _smothering_ as Ori put it. 

Leaving quiet reminders of himself such as a small vase of flowers from his flowerbeds, or extra food from his dinner left on his neighbor's doorstep just before he knew Fili would get home from his day job, he hoped was acceptable behavior, so afraid he would do something wrong to upset him again. 

At first Fili thought it was a little creepy, but soon honestly began to think it was sweet of Kili realizing he was trying. Sending him a 'thank you' text would set Kili's heart soaring only to receive a reply of, 'You're welcome!' though Kili wrote much more, the voice in his head reminded him to _'keep it simple'_. 

Silently watching from a distance, Kili waited impatiently for an opportunity to arise to speak with Fili, not for a moment believing his friend wouldn't mind if he spoke to him everyday. 

Fili knew what Kili was up to. It wasn't the first time he laid low like this after feeling embarrassed by his actions, and so the older, wiser neighbor would wait giving his friend time to think, knowing he would come back around on his own, and soon those thoughts were confirmed. 

Early Friday morning as Fili loaded his tools into his truck, he saw Kili walking across the yard toward him with a coffee mug in hand. Finding it odd for him to be up and out just as the sun was peeking over the horizon, he greeted Kili with a friendly smile.

“Good morning. Why're you up so early?”

“I wanted to catch you before you left for work. I wanted to apologize about crashing your dressing room the other night." After seeing Fili's smile, he wondered if he should've brought it up, but Fili was over it, though he wouldn't forget it either. 

"Kee, I wasn't just upset about the fact you breached security to get into my dressing room. I know you didn't know it, but the performance we were doing that night was very important to us. Nori had someone there to watch our show because he's interested in starting a road tour with a couple other strip club owners he met, and the four of us were chosen to possibly join a crew of some of the best strippers in the country. Your little antic distracted me, and I royally fucked up." 

Forgetting for a moment he was trying to apologize, ignoring the importance of what he'd just been told, Kili tried to play innocent with a lilt in his voice, "I _distracted_ you?" 

Luckily, Nori didn't make a huge deal about it, and Fili could laugh about it now. He just gave Kili a side-look, and smirked. "You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about. You know what you did." 

Kili didn't want to push his luck. Just knowing he could rattle Fili so subtly was enough. 

"Sorry." Kili reached out to hand Fili some cash. "I also wanted to pay you for the work you did on my roof. Sorry it took me so long.”

Fili graciously took the cash for a moment. Letting a simple smile creep back onto his lips, he handed it back. "Keep it. I had the materials, and it was my time to give."

Shoving the cash firmly back into his friend's hand, Kili was insistent. "No, you keep it. I still need you to fix the crack in my bedroom ceiling. Do you think you might be able to get to it soon? I mean, I'm sure the work you did on the roof will keep it from leaking, and I know you're always so busy, and I hate to ask again, but..."

"Sure." The blond looked at the cash, and shoved it in his pocket seeing how anxious his friend was getting. "Promise I'll try to get to it as soon as I can. It might not be until next Saturday though. I'm pretty busy this week." Anything to calm Kili down. He always seemed so anxious asking for any favors. 

It was enough to appease Kili, happily off on his way to work early in a good mood knowing Fili always kept his word. 

~*~

_Later that evening..._

The thunderous bass thumping in the club pulsed through Fili’s body. Lifting some weights, and drinking bottle after bottles of water and sports drinks, the stripper paused to stare at the mirrored wall. 

He couldn’t wait to get on that stage to hear the frenzy of the crowd screaming just for him. Nori's place wasn't your typical strip club atmosphere. People came here for a show, and Fili loved to give them what they came for. 

It didn't matter if the music he performed to was high energy or slow and sensual. For a moment in time, dancing, twisting with agility around the poles, peeling off his clothes, and teasing his audience with sneak peeks of his fit body, the fascination with showing off his body and moves he'd perfected was a huge turn-on. 

His confidence had grown strong over the years. There was nothing more satisfying than to think that possibly he would be the object of desire in the dreams of some of the people who watched him that night as they drifted off to sleep, or maybe they would fantasize about him while making love to their partner though it was rare he'd ever think of any of them once he got home from a show. 

So many faces in the crowd, it was even more rare for one to stand out over another to him. But when someone caught Fili's eye, he knew there was something special about them. It was how he'd met a few of his past partners, including Frerin. 

~

Half way through his first dance of the evening, Fili noticed someone in the crowd near the stage with a camera taking photos of him. Photography was strictly prohibited unless it was for a private party, or the person had been given permission to do so. 

When the camera came down and Fili saw who the photographer was, he growled, _'Kili!'_ He couldn't believe it. Especially after he'd apologized to him just this morning for what he did last week!

Luckily for the photographer, he wasn't waiting unexpectedly backstage for Fili this time. Patience was running thin.

The moment Kili knew he'd been spotted, he drifted further away from the stage. Still trying to get the best possible action shots of the stripper, he overheard a comment a young man made about the stripper, 

_“Fili's so fucking hot! I almost feel guilty when I watch him, like I'm cheating on my boyfriend!"_

Kili took one last photo, and glanced over at the good-looking young man who appeared to be around his own age. He never understood how Frerin could've been so jealous when Fili had never cheated on him or anyone. Fili didn't _know_ any of these people, and he wasn't going home with any of them. He'd always gone home to his partner. Kili would be proud to let everyone know Fili was his, and know they would be jealous that _he_ got to sleep with that gorgeous, sexy man every night. 

~

Taking a quick shower between shows, Fili let his mind run wild trying to figure out how Kili got away with taking photos without Dwalin hauling his ass out of the crowd.

It wasn't until he left his dressing room to seek out Bard that he ran into Kili in the hallway backstage, and it took everything out of him not to totally lose it, though he did go off on his friend before the brunet could utter a single word . 

"What the fuck are you doing here _again?!_ Didn't I tell you not to come back here? What made you think it was a good idea to come here with a camera?!" 

All the while being yelled at, Kili tried to interrupt, but Fili wouldn't hear him out until Nori came hurrying down the hallway to Kili's defense. 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey! I thought he was your friend, Fee?"

"He-he is! But..."

"Calm down! Didn't you get my text? I hired Kili as my photographer! I was down in the village this morning, stopped in the bookstore to visit my cousin, and found out Kili is Ori's friend. We got to talking, and he said he was a photographer, so offered him the job." 

Fili shot Kili an apologetic look. 

"I needed to get some professional photos for promotions here at the club, and to help sell you guys to my new business partners for the road tour." Befuddled, Nori couldn't understand why Fili was so upset having who he thought was his friend taking the photos.

Once Fili's eyes were finally drawn to the lanyard with Kili's credentials hanging around his neck, he knew this wasn't a joke, and he'd attacked his friend without knowing the facts, or giving Kili a chance to explain. 

"I need you to go to one of the available private rooms with him to take some still shots, and whatever else he thinks he needs. Kili, Elladan and Scarlet are getting ready to go on stage, so I'll need you to get some photos of them when you're done with Fili, so get to it."

*

Normally Fili would relish a photo shoot like this. He loved showing off his body, but with any photographer other than Kili. There was something unsettling about this that made him suddenly feel like an awkward virgin.

With every pose, and every direction Kili gave his model, Fili felt more and more uncomfortable, and the photographer could clearly see it in his subject's body language.

"You need to relax, Fili. You look...stiff." Most unprofessionally, Kili snickered. 

Fili sat up from his provocative pose on the leather couch, and adjusted his thong. 

"I can't do this, Kili."

"Oh, come on! I thought you were a professional!"

"I am! But..."

"I'm trying to be as professional as I can taking these shots, but you need to work with me here!" Kili was exasperated because he was really trying to take the best photos he could keeping his mind on the task at hand no matter how hard it was to stay focused considering his subject was Fili. 

Fili let out a long drawn out sigh knowing Kili was right. "Sorry. What do you want me to do next?"

"Go over to the pole, and..." Hearing the slow version of the song "Shameless" by The Weeknd already playing for Elladan and Scarlet's routine, it was the only logical thing to ask of him. "Dance." 

  
  
  


_'Say it louder, say it louder_

_Who's gonna love you like me, like me? Yeah_

_Say it louder, say it louder_

_Who's gonna touch you like me, like me?'_

  
  
  


Fili took a breath, and focused on the pole. Getting lost in the music he pulled himself up with strength, holding on with graceful, fluid movements, bending, twisting, rolling his body in a slow suggestive manner... 

  
  
  


_Ooh, said it'd be the last time, all you needed was a little closure_

_Ooh, said it'd be the last time but you're begging me to come over_

_Ooh, come over_

_Ooh, saying who's gonna fuck you like me? Hey_

  
  
  


The photographer had captured the beauty of his subject in motion, snapping away frame after frame of every sculpted curve of his muscular body as he moved with erotic agility. Nothing lewd, just art in another form bringing forth a feeling there was more to stripping than ripping off ones clothing. Captivatingly sensual, Kili thought. 

  
  


_I don't wanna hurt you but you live for the pain_

_I'm not tryna say it but it's what you became_

_You want me to fix you but it's never enough_

_That's why you always call me cause you're scared to be loved_

_But I'll always be there for you, I'll always be there for you_

_I'll always be there for you, girl I have no shame_

_I'll always be there for you, I'll always be there for you_

_I'll always be there for you, girl I have no shame_

  
  


Slowly, spinning coming down Fili settled gently on the floor still holding onto the pole in a solemn moment letting Kili take a few more shots. 

Watching Fili's every seductive look and movement until the dancer sat motionless, Kili brought down his camera, feeling a lump in his throat. 

Both men sat silently on the floor listening to the song until Fili's eyes lifted to meet Kili's astonished look of awe, he quietly asked, "What?" 

"That was..." _'Breathtaking!'_

Fili suddenly felt vulnerable as if he'd exposed his soul to Kili which was way harder than exposing his skin. 

"Fee...why do you like being a stripper?"

It had been a long time since anyone asked him that. The answer was bittersweet. 

"It validates me. Everything I fought against to be myself. I feel stronger, and freer than ever when I dance nude, and the reactions of strangers watching me, wanting me...it's a rush I can't explain. And it's not all about sex." For a second, Fili wanted to end this conversation, but felt it only fair to trust Kili since he'd open up to him about his past. 

"My dad was ashamed of me. I wanted to dance when I was young. My dad was a 'mans-mans', and he said only sissy boys danced, and it made me want to do ballet even more than jazz or hip-hop in spite of him. But my mom took me to lessons anyway, and supported me." 

Kili grinned. He liked Fili's mother already, remaining quiet listening to Fili's story. 

"I played football too, all through high school, and not just for my dad. I really liked it! I had more cheerleader girlfriends than any guy in school, bro! My junior year, I had a gorgeous girlfriend. We went to prom together, but over the summer we drifted apart. My senior year, I really didn't even try to date anyone, and then...I fell for a guy in my biology class." 

Looking over his brow to see if anything was sounding familiar to Kili in which he gave a nod of understanding, Fili continued. "See when, uh, puberty hit, Bard and I messed around, you know, just wanting to experiment with sex. I never thought anything of it until I felt something for Ross. I never liked Bard that way, but I knew I _loved_ Ross just as much as I ever loved any girl I'd dated, and I should of known before I brought him home as my date to the senior prom, my dad was going to make a scene. I couldn't give two fucks what he thought. I wasn't going to let him belittle me for being who I am. And again, my mom supported me. I was in college when she died...my dad sold our house, took my little brother, and moved away because he couldn't handle me being bisexual. He said he didn't want my brother being exposed to my disgusting lifestyle because I had boyfriend. I haven't seen, nor heard from them since. Sort of set a trend for my future, I guess. Everybody I ever cared about left me eventually." 

Kili's sad eyes dropped to the camera in his hands. 

"Anyway, I met Nori while I was in college. I needed money, and he hooked me up with my first job dancing at a strip club. Don't get me wrong, it was extremely awkward at first, but after a while I began to love the way it made me feel. I'm in control of my mind and body, and no one can tell me how to feel when I dance. Taking my clothes off freed me spiritually, realizing our bodies are just a host for our soul. Like I said, stripping isn't always about sex for me, but when it is, no matter what some people thought, I never cheated on anyone, though it felt like betrayal sometimes because I like being _watched_." 

The look Kili gave him was hard to read, wishing he could read his mind. Had he said too much? And then he realized what he'd said, _'Oh shit! I hope that didn't trigger, Kee!'_

Lowering his brow, Kili replied, "And people like to watch you. I get it. It is a rush to feel wanted, and desired." He could see a mixture of relief, and sadness wash over the body sitting across from him. "Well, I guess we're done in here. I need to work with Elladan and Scarlet now. Thanks, Fee."

"No. Thank you for being so professional."

"No, I meant...thank you for sharing your story with me." Kili felt an even stronger bond with Fili now that he had opened up to him. "And thank you for that breathtaking performance."

Enlightened, Kili was so deeply moved by Fili's dance and his candidness, he had walked away with a new perspective, and level of respect for him. Maybe not all strippers performed with the same thoughts and feelings about it, but Fili's reasons were his own, and it seemed to be a therapeutic escape for him. 

*

Nori looked up from his computer hearing his office door crack open to see Kili peeking in.

"Hey Nori, do you have a minute?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments, kudos, and stopping by to read!!!


	16. Because

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After another tiff, Fili's drunk confession confuses Kili, but renews all hope to win his desire's heart.

Nothing in this world could wake Fili up faster than to see he had received a text from his ex-lover, Frerin. What he wouldn’t do to have him back, but Frerin had been been unwavering about his decision that he never wanted to try and mend their relationship again. 

The level of anxiety Fili’s late night job caused Frerin was overwhelming, and there was no way he could live like that again. The constant worrying about his lover's faithfulness, and safety was exhausting. 

Even with this knowledge, Fili never gave up, hanging onto the very last thread of hope he could change his mind. They had always been so good together in every way, he wished they could at least be civil, and possibly friends again someday. 

After their split and Fili had moved away, Frerin’s frustration over Fili’s groveling and begging wore on his patience, but eventually he realized he’d been much too harsh with his ex, and finally began replying to Fili’s texts. He found if he replied, he wouldn’t receive texts so often, and the needy tone had all but disappeared from their conversations as did the constant inquiries about the possibility of getting back together.

 

When Fili read the text from Frerin, his sleepy eyes grew wide as he read the message over and over. From that moment on he walked through his daily routine like he was floating on a cloud in the heavens above. 

Nothing or no one could spoil his mood feeling like a triumphant winner. Or so he thought.

 

~*~

Thursday night at Nori’s strip club was a hot spot gay men, and as always, Nori’s mind had been working overtime thinking up new ways to bring in more customers. So tonight, he was unveiling his latest business endeavor to lure in new and regular customers alike.

Being asked to take an evening off work, Fili wasn’t going to question Nori’s latest pet project. Instead he had his mind set on relaxing at the village pub with Bard since his co-worker also was informed he had the evening off too. Unfortunately, once again Bard chose his girlfriend to spend time with instead of his best friend.

It was at that moment of rejection Fili pulled into his driveway, and sat in his truck staring at Kili’s house. The lack of texts from his neighbor this past week was unusual, and uncharacteristic of him since they had been getting along so well. 

Armed with more knowledge of Kili’s past, and his friend’s emotional and mental state always so fragile, Fili worried about him as much as Ori did. In a way, Kili had filled the void in his life left by his younger brother he loved so dearly. The two were almost the same age, so maybe that explained why he felt so protective of his friend even when he pissed him off, or acted like an annoying little bro.

*

Music played loudly in the background as Kili slightly cracked opened his front door to see who came knocking, afraid he was disturbing his other next-door neighbor. 

Keeping his hands tucked in his pockets, Fili rocked on his heels, grinning just enough to show-off his cute dimples that made Kili’s heart melt. 

Kili looked disheveled, and out of breath as sweat rolled down the side of his face. Busy with some major house cleaning, he explained. 

After a brief conversation, and another rejection for an evening out at the pub, Fili decided to go the Nori’s club as a patron to see what his boss was up to this time. 

Standing on the other side of the stage was always a good time, and gave the stripper a fresh perspective of what the experience was like for the customers. It helped help him critique his own performance watching others dance.

It was also a great way to pick up strangers that may or may not recognize him as one of the club's feature strippers. Trying to blend in, the blond liked to pull his curls into a man bun, but his trademark braidstache usually gave him away to the regular customers after a while. Those regulars were the people he tried to avoid at all cost, unless he found any one of them irresistibly attractive like he did Frerin many years ago. 

Lindir walked by Fili's table, quickly doing a U-turn he came back looking rather nervous.

"What're you doing here? I thought Nori gave you the night off."

"He did! I like to support my fellow performers every now and then, and mingle with the crowd same as anyone! What's the big deal? Dwalin questioned me too! Am I being replaced?" Fili laughed, slapping some cash in Lindir's hand. "Can you get me a rum and coke, please? Keep the change." 

Fili thought twice about the look Lindir gave him. _'I was just joking! Hope Nori's not really trying to replace me! Maybe he's trying out new people to take our place if we get accepted for that road tour!'_

Looking around the crowded club, Fili suddenly spotted the advertisements spread around the room. How had he not noticed before? Guess entering through the employee entrance in the rear of the building wouldn't have told him anything. 

"Amateur Night?" Fili rolled his eyes, and laughed at his boss's ingenious idea. "Real original, Nori!" He sighed, and downed his drink waiting on Lindir to return with his next drink. 

*

It was almost midnight when Nori walked out on stage to announce yet another amateur performer. Fili had already had too much to drink, and was about to leave having more than enough lame excitement for one night watching these newbies try to act sexy on stage, failing miserably one after another when his blood ran cold hearing the next performer's name ringing in his ears.

"Kili?!"

 _This_ he had to see. 

Settling back down in his seat, Fili's first instinct was to laugh, but he soon became mesmerized by the dark haired amateur's erotic moves owning the stage. This couldn't be really be happening, Fili thought. He must have passed out, and was dreaming or something. Kili was way too into his routine, way too good to be true. The choreography of the dance, the routine he performed was raw, and pure, seductive as one of his own, but how? _How was this possible?_

Kili was wooing the crowd of men that began gathering around the stage, performing flawlessly, grinding to the beat of the music, teasing the crowd like a pro slipping out of what little clothing he start with. Touching himself with naughty looks, the alluring brunet seduced the crowd. 

The cheers and whistles grew louder as Kili ended his brilliant performance taking in the accolades of what it felt like to be the center of attention. They were cheering and whistling for him! Kili was so proud of himself. It was one of the happiest moments of his life until he spotted Fili's cold blue eyes fixated on him. _'He's not supposed to be here!'_

In a flurry, Ori was almost knocked off his feet by the amateur stripper exiting the stage. "Kili! What's wrong? You did great! Your performance was awesome!"

Kili rushed to his designated changing room to throw on his street clothes ready to make a mad dash out of the club, but was abruptly stopped by a short, stone wall with blond hair growling at him.

"What the hell was that, Kili?"

"I-I..." Kili stammered wondering himself now why he was here. 

"You're not a stripper!" Fili's nostrils flared. 

"I just wanted to feel the rush you said you felt on stage! To feel proud of myself, and to feel what's it's like to be wanted and desired by strangers, especially since _you_ don't want me! What's wrong with that, Fee? I have every right to be here!" Kili honestly thought he put on an amazing show considering it was the first time he'd ever performed anything in front of people, so why was Fili so angry? 

Never meaning to deny Kili his right to experience the same high he loved being on stage, it still angered the professional stripper. "You don't belong here!"

Hoping to smooth things over, Lindir had followed Fili backstage knowing Kili had asked for his friend not to be there in the club this evening if possible. "Fili, he worked really hard on that routine. For you. He wasn't ready for you to see it yet!" 

Ori put himself between the two hoping to stop Fili from belittling, and berating his best friend any further. "Kili did great! Didn't you hear the crowd?" 

Yes. Yes, he did. Fili shot Lindir a look, and glared at the lot of them before he left the club in a huff. He needed a drink. 

With tears threatening to spill from his eyes, Kili was shaking when Ori pulled him into his arms. "I did it for him, as much as I did it for myself, Ori! Why can't he see how much he means to me?"

Ori gently parted themselves, and shook his head. "Why can't you see how much the person standing right in front of you loves you! I've always been the one to pick up the pieces of your broken heart!"

"Ri? I..."

"Fili doesn't care about you like I do! You ignore me, push me aside, and you throw yourself at him, and _he_ doesn't want you!" The little ginger was drawing unwanted attention, and Kili was feeling more embarrassed by the minute. 

The sting of reality hurt more than if his friend would've punched him in the face. And truth be told, he knew Ori loved him, and he knew he'd ignored that fact for a long time because he didn't return those feeling for his best friend. Maybe he was right. About everything. But Kili still wasn't giving up on Fili so easily. He wanted to believe Fili was in love with him, too blind to see it yet. 

"I'm sorry, Ori. You've been the best friend anyone could have, but I just don't..."

Stopping the words he knew were coming, and didn't want to hear, Ori finished Kili's response. "I know. You don't _love_ me. I just don't want Fili to hurt you. Because you've been hurt enough."

But Kili knew Fili better than Ori. "You don't know him like I do!" He snapped. "His heart's been broken by everyone he ever loved almost beyond repair, and I know I can be the one to mend it." 

"It's obvious he doesn't want you. What makes you so sure of that?" 

"Because...I understand him." 

*

 _'He doesn't belong on my stage! Letting those filthy men look at him, and touch him like that!'_ Fili grumbled. He wasn't jealous. He would've yelled at his little brother just the same. _'He should know what disgusting thoughts men have about guys his age!'_

Perched on his favorite barstool swaying a bit, Fili finished off his drink, unintentionally slamming the glass on the wooden bar. The barmaid took the empty glass, and came back with his tab. 

"You're done for the night, Fili. Do you need me to call a cab for you, or is someone taking you home?"

Before he could reply, a voice deeper than his own answered for him, "I am."

The blond almost fell off his barstool, wheeling around to smirk at Kili standing behind him. "What're you doing here?"

"I knew you'd be here. I wanted to make sure you got home safe." And that was positively not a lie. "Come on, I'll walk you to the car."

With an arm wrapped about the drunk blond's waist, Kili led his friend toward the car, keeping him upright, tripping, stumbling the whole way until he fell against the car laughing, pulling Kili against him. 

"You gonna try to get me to fuck you again tonight, Kee, hmm? Keep telling you we're just friends, but you're always coming on to me, taking advantage of me when I'm drunk! Why is that?" 

Now was as good of time as any though chances were high Fili wouldn't remember any of this in the morning, Kili answer sincerely, "Because you don't want me when you're sober, and I really want you. I lu..." 

Swiftly as a drunk could move, Fili's fingers pressed against Kili's lips stifling his confession.

"Don't say it..." With a furrowed brow, Fili shook his head. "Dooooon't say it!"

"Why can't I tell you I love you? Why don't you want me, Fili?" This was what he desperately longed to know more than anything. 

"Because I love Frerin." Almost mumbling, Fili spewed conflicting messages confusing Kili even more. "And I love you too much."

Kili blinked. "That doesn't make any sense, Fee." Not that any drunk ever made clear conversation. 

"Perfect sense to me." Licking his dry lips, Fili's head rolled back, leaning against his friend's car. "Because if I fall in love with you, you'll leave me." 

Before Fili could pass out, Kili managed to pour his intoxicated friend into the passenger seat of his car, and got him home safely allowing him to sleep on his couch.

Thinking of his own fucked up past, Kili appreciated the kindness Fili has always shown him, not to mention the tremendous patience he had dealing with his immature moments. This was one man he was certain without a doubt needed to be his partner, and the thought of losing him to another was unfathomable. 

"So you do love me. I love you, too, and I'd never leave you, Fee. We're meant to be together. I just have to convince you to give me a chance." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two, possibly three more chapters left to go, depending on how long/detailed I make them.  
> Thank you all for the great comments, kudos, and for stopping by to read!!!


	17. Misunderstandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things aren't always as they seem as a misunderstanding sends Kili over the edge.

Idle minds tend to wander, and busy minds have no time to stray. 

With the onset of autumn just around the corner, Fili and Bard’s handyman business was booming. Their calendar overflowed with work, and the young men were becoming drained and overwhelmed. Long hours almost everyday made finding the energy to practice with their choreographer, and to perform well at Nori’s club four or five nights a week a major task in its own right.

Fili never complained, but his aching muscles were beginning to protest. No matter how much he loved dancing at the strip club, something had to give, and he certainly wasn't going to turn down work for his own business. 

Of course, Fili wasn't the only one suffering these effects. Bard was in no better shape, and with a little nudge from Sarah, he agreed it was time to retire from stripping, and hang up his G-string for good. When he gave his notice, Nori reluctantly accepted his offer to perform for the last time over the weekend, but wished him well. The pressure of working both very physical day and night jobs, and trying to keep his promising relationship moving along finally saw relief in-sight, and Bard was more than ready to chill for a while.

Nori was always understanding of his friends' business, and would never question Fili's much needed time off to rest. He certainly didn't want to wear out his top performer, but the busy headstrong man continued to work hard focusing on what awaited him on Saturday.

 _'Not again!'_ Fili groaned, and rubbed his sleepy, bloodshot eyes. Waking up on Kili's couch Friday morning, woozy with a killer headache wasn't on his full agenda. Hangovers were a bitch, but this was nothing a refreshing shower, hot coffee, and a few headache tablets couldn't fix. 

He knew it wasn't the most polite thing to do, but the hung-over blond wasn't in the mood nor did he have time to talk to Kili since Bard had already left ten not-so-nice text messages wondering what happened to his co-worker. So he slipped out of the house, and went home to see what he could do about making himself feel human again before hurrying off to their latest job site.

Kili was disappointed to find an empty couch in the morning, but was content and pleased with the text he received. 

_'Thx for taking care of me - again - and sorry for being such a dick at the club. You did good Kee!'_

That's all it took to make everything right between them. The more Kili thought about his performance last night, the more he realized it didn't matter what Fili thought about it anyway. Was it possible Fili was jealous because he was _really_ good? Maybe he was even _better_ than his friend? No matter. Performing as an amateur stripper served a fulfilling purpose, and something he could check off his bucket list as something he would never do again. 

~*~

Friday had been a long day, and though Fili had plans for Saturday evening, he and Bard knocked out a few jobs before he could prepare for the company that would be arriving late this afternoon.

Kili paced the floor waiting for Fili to return home. It was Saturday. The day Fili promised to come over, and fix the crack in his bedroom ceiling. 

Fili never broke a promise.

An hour after Bard dropped Fili off, Kili waited. 

Having the crack fixed wasn't that big of a deal. It had been there for almost a year gradually getting worse until Fili repaired the roof. The leak was stopped, so there was no real dire need to have the ceiling repaired now. 

But Fili _promised._

And spending anytime with Fili was important to the photographer, watching out his bedroom window taking a few snapshots of his favorite subject walking back and forth from the house and garage apparently preparing to do some renovations to his own home.

Just as Kili was about to step away from the window, his plan to offer his friend some assistance was thwarted when a brand new silver pickup truck pulled into Fili's driveway.

Carrying a rather heavy box shifting in his arms, Fili looked up at the sound of the truck, and smiled like a cheshire cat. 

_This_ was the moment for so many months he'd been waiting for.

From what Kili could see, the man walking toward his neighbor with a bit of swagger wasn't a stranger at all. 

Fili sat down the box he was holding to greet his visitor, trying to hide his nervous excitement. 

"Frerin. Good to see you." 

A slight grin grew beneath Frerin's short beard just as happy to see his ex-lover again. "Good to see you again too, Fee. You're looking good." 

"You too." Said Fili bashfully, quickly turned their attention to the main reason Frerin had visited, not to dwell on that fact he thought his ex looked amazingly hotter than ever. "Come on out to the garage. I've already got all the lumber and everything stacked up inside there." 

After weeks of texting back and forth, Frerin had finally agreed to visit, and pick up a few things Fili had taken of his by mistake when he moved as well as some building materials he offered to give him for free. It was time to let bygones be bygones. Fili was a good man, and the anxious, awkwardness they both felt to be in each others company began to fade. 

"Nice ride!" Fili knew Frerin trucks had always been his prized possessions, taking meticulous care of them even if he did use them for his construction work. 

"Thanks! This is the one I bought a couple weeks ago, I told you about." Frerin patted the side of the vehicle with affection. "Had it pinstriped, and this special bed liner and cover installed just the other day."

Curiously Kili watched the two conversing as they moved lumber, boxes, and assorted items from the garage to the unknown man's truck, loading it up until the tailgate closed, safely sealing in the materials beneath the truck bed cover. After their short workout, the men took a moment to catch their breath. 

"Thanks, Fee. Sorry it took me so long to drive down to get this stuff."

Unconcerned, Fili waved it off. "No worries. It's a long drive from Greenwood. I'm just glad you agreed to come at all."

The steady breeze turned a bit cooler, and stronger as the sun disappeared completely behind the clouds that had been gathering all day.

Noticing the change in weather, Frerin looked toward the sky, and rubbed his arms for warmth. "Looks like it's going to rain."

"Yeah, it's getting chilly out here. Come on in, and have a beer before you go." There was no way Fili was letting his ex leave so quickly after the months it took to get him here, and there was something he desperately needed from him. Even to chat about the weather was enough to satisfy his need to spend time with the man. 

Frerin hesitated, but agreed to stay for a short visit, holding the side door to the kitchen open for Fili to carry in the heavy box of tiles he'd sat down earlier. 

_Kili's eyes narrowed. 'Who is that guy?' He didn't know him, never seen him before though he had an inkling about who he was, and he most certainly didn't like how close the man had been standing near his Fili. He'd never been jealous of anyone before now. Ever._

"Beer's in the fridge, help yourself while I take these upstairs." Fili said shifting the box to secure his hold.

Closing the door behind them, Frerin looked around the kitchen noting wallpaper stripped from a single wall, and a few cabinets missing. "You doing some remodeling?"

"Yeah. My bathroom right now. Do you want to see? I'll show you around." Fili took the box of tiles to the master bathroom through his bedroom with Frerin following close behind checking out the house along the way. "I've been so busy with work these days, I could never find the time to finish my own projects here at home!" 

Frerin laughed. It was just like Fili to put work and everyone else's needs before his own. "Do you need some help?"

Shocked by the offer, Fili wasn't about to turn him down. "Really? That'd be awesome, thanks! I made a casserole earlier, I just need to throw it in the oven, if you'd like to have dinner with me first."

"Sure! I miss your cooking!" 

"Says the man that could burn water. I bet you do!" Fili joked. _'I wish you missed more than my cooking, Frerin!'_

Feeling completely relaxed, and comfortable as if time had never parted them, it was nice to share some laughter again.

Soon after Fili put the casserole in the oven, the men discussed his bathroom remodeling project, and unfortunately realized they were in need of more supplies. 

Still staring out his bedroom window, Kili felt relief seeing the silver truck leaving Fili's driveway. Nearly a half hour, a handful of pretzels, and a couple beers later he had gathered enough courage to go over to his neighbor's house to remind him of the promise he'd made.

Knowing his friend had been so very busy lately, he didn't want to seem pushy, but he'd already paid him, and a promise was a promise. Of course, he would gladly order pizza, and share his case of beer with him as well, whatever it took to keep him at his house as long as possible. 

Standing on Fili's covered porch, Kili rang the doorbell, and waited. The usual joyful smile he wore for him rapidly disappeared as the front door opened.

He was greeted by the delightful aroma of Fili's casserole baking in the oven as well as a tall, muscular man with long, dark golden blond hair and short beard to match with eyes like sapphires standing before him looking like an incredibly sexy, chiseled god. 

"Can I help you?"

 _'Holy fuck he's hot!'_ Kili's mouth suddenly felt like the desert trying to speak, and figure out, _'Who the hell is this guy, and why is he still in Fili's house? I thought he left! Jeezuz, I hope this isn't Frerin!'_ "Is Fili here?" 

"No, sorry. He had to run an errand. Can I tell him who stopped by?"

"Kili. I live next door. I'm kind of his boyfriend." The brunet smirked, trying to act a bit cocky, wanting to make that very clear to this stranger standing in _his_ man's home. "And you are...?" _'Please don't say Frerin!'_

The large silver truck rolled into the driveway as the man leaned against the doorframe, and wet his lips with a smirk of his own eyeing Kili up and down wondering by his tone and fidgety body language if he was lying for some reason. 

"Frerin." 

The rich warmth of the man's deep voice made Kili's blood run cold as Fili emerged from the truck, and trotted up onto the porch all smiles carrying a bag from the hardware store. "Hey, Kee! Did you need something?" 

"You said you'd come over to repair the crack in my ceiling today." The brunet said, furrowing his brow. 

"Oh, shit!" Fili closed his eyes, and facepalmed himself. "I'm sorry! I've been so busy, I forgot. I'll do it first thing tomorrow, okay?"

Kili's chest began to rise and fall harder as his eyes shifted between the two men. "But you promised you'd do it today, and there's a storm coming!" 

"Calm down, Kee, it'll be fine! I fixed the roof, it's not going to leak. You know that, it's rained since then. I swear I'll get to it tomorrow. I'm kind of busy right now." With a quirk of his head, Fili gave his neighbor a look as Frerin rolled out of the doorway and sauntered back to the kitchen. "There is a storm coming. I just drove through it on my way back, so you better get home before it gets here, okay?" 

Closing the door, Fili said goodnight just as the rains arrived. 

_"But you promised!_ "

*

When Fili joined Frerin at the kitchen table ready to take his seat for dinner, he caught the curious gaze of his ex.

"My neighbor."

There was no need to respond, Frerin thought. Kili already told him that he was Fili's boyfriend. Whether or not he believed him was another thing. Whatever, it didn't matter. What Fili did now was no one's business but his own. 

Dinner was rather quiet, and after cleaning up the kitchen the men made their way upstairs to begin work on the bathroom. 

"Frerin?" Fili stopped in the middle of his bedroom to turn and face his ex. This was the moment of truth. The moment he'd been waiting for, for so long. Frerin appeared even more desirable than ever, but what he was about to ask him was to fulfill a burning need for confirmation rather than desire. "Could...could you...hold me...please?"

Solemnly Frerin looked at Fili, and swallowed hard. This wasn't in the plans they'd made. He hoped this wasn't a mistake. 

Being wrapped in Frerin's strong arms felt like home to Fili as their bodies slotted together, and his ex lifted his chin with his gentle touch for their lips to meet.

Lightening struck as the rain came fast, and hard, caught in the blowing wind finding its way through the window screen. 

Peering through the rain into Fili's bedroom from his window, Kili's heart clenched seeing the blurred vision of Fili being held in the affectionate embrace of his ex-lover. _'No! No, no, no! This can't be! No, Fili!'_

Parting from such a sensually sweet kiss, Fili's hands slowly dragged down Frerin's sides. "I better shut the window. The rain's coming in." 

As the window closed, and the blinds were pulled, Kili anxiously tried to find his breath, curling up on his bed, wishing away what he was sure was happening in the bedroom of the house next door.

Not only did he believe the love of his life was about to take a tumble in the sheets with his ex-lover, but the sound of Fili's voice rang in his ears, _"I love Frerin."_ They were falling in love again! Kili knew he was losing Fili at this very moment, and there was _nothing_ he could about it. 

 

Frerin stood quietly with his thumbs hooked in the front pockets of his jeans, staring at the floor as Fili came back to stand before him worrying his bottom lip waiting for his ex to look up. "It's really over, isn't it?"

The tall blond nodded, glancing up to note the sorrow in Fili's crystal blue eyes. "We tried too many times, Fee. I'll always love you, but you know it would never work as well as I do. We've been over this a thousand times. I don't want to fight or argue with you anymore."

"I know." Fili agreed. "I've held onto hope for so long, but I knew it was over. That's why I wanted you to hold me. I needed to know for sure, and I was right. I'll always love you too, Frerin, just not like I use to."

"Maybe that's because you've already hooked up with Kili." Frerin said with a mischievous grin. He wasn't bitter anymore, and their kiss moments ago confirmed that for him as well. 

"Kili? What did he say to you before I got here?"

"He said he was your boyfriend. Is it true? Do you love him?"

 _'The audacity!'_ Fili snorted. "He's in love with me."

"You didn't answer my question." Frerin tipped his head. "It's okay to move on, Fee. You deserve to be happy."

"No. He's just my friend." Fili's answer was curt as he went to work in the bathroom straight away laying tiles, but Frerin followed. 

"What're you so afraid of?" 

_'That I love him more than I should. And it scares the ever loving shit outta me!'_ "I'm not afraid of anything! I just don't want another failed relationship, okay?" 

Frerin knelt next to Fili, and picked up a trowel to begin laying some tiles. 

"I thought I could do it, but I couldn't. For two years, I tried to be understanding, I swear I did. But I was jealous, and couldn't stand lying in our bed at night waiting for you to come home knowing strangers were getting off on watching you, and touching you. I especially hated you giving people lap dances. Maybe there's a special person out there who's more understanding about it than I was. Don't give up on finding that special person just yet, Fee." 

Fili couldn't look at his ex. The tears had already begun to sting his eyes. _'I can't fall in love again. I just can't! I don't want to feel the pain of losing someone again! Especially not Kili! I would never want to hurt him. I saw how jealous he looked tonight. It could never work for us.'_

*

Hours went by unnoticed, and many tiles had been laid in place as the bathroom began to take shape. The men stood to stretch their aching backs and muscles when they noticed the time. 

It had gotten late in the blink of an eye, and the storms had gotten worse with torrential rains. The news reported many road closures due to flooding, and with Frerin living over an hour away, Fili convinced him to stay the night to be safe. Frerin refused to kick Fili out of his bed, instead he slept peacefully on the living room sofa.

~*~

By morning, the rain had stopped. Fili thanked Frerin for everything. His help, and for assuring him they could be friends from now on. Frerin thanked Fili for being persistent enough for them to reconnect, and offered his help anytime.

In the pale light of dawn as the men walked off the front porch toward the driveway, Frerin almost literally exploded in anger at the sight of his brand new truck covered in mud and _flowers?_

"What the fuck!!!!" He bellowed.

Fili had _never_ seen him nor anyone that mad with anger before, but did what he could to calm his down running for the hose alongside the house.

"It's just mud, Frerin! It'll wash off!" 

The shorter blond stepped back having the hose ripped from his hands.

"Who the fuck would do such an idiotic, asinine thing?!?!" Frerin continued to rant and rave. 

Shifting eyes toward his neighbor's house, Fili could've bet his life he knew who.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I planned to continue with more on this chapter, but for reasons I chose to push it to the next chapter. So looks like there could still be two more chapters! 
> 
> Thank you for all the comments, kudos, and stopping by the read!!!


	18. We're Both A Little Mad Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a chain of events, Kili learns the truth about Frerin, and Fili finds reason to rethink how he feels about Kili just as the younger makes a promising decision for himself believing there is still hope Fili will eventually have a change of heart about chancing a relationship with him.

Once Frerin had drove out of sight, Fili went to investigate the side of his neighbor's house to confirm what he thought he saw. 

Every single flower of Kili's beautiful flower bed, that which he'd cared for with such tenderness had been recklessly torn from their roots, ripped and shredded, scattered all over the ground. 

Lifting one of the dying blue flowers, Fili remembered how satisfied he felt caring for them not long ago. Those flowers were Kili defined. Strong, yet vulnerable, needing someone to help them thrive and grow. 

Sadness and fear for his friend pulsed through Fili's veins, but mostly guilt for how selfishly he shooed Kili away last night like kicking a lost puppy. 

Assuming Kili was home by the car in the driveway, Fili pounded on his neighbor's front door, ringing the bell he yelled, "I know you're in there, Kili, answer the door!" Exasperated he pleaded, the word caught in his throat, "Please!" 

This time of morning he wouldn't put it past Kili to be sound asleep, or most likely he was ignoring him, in which at this moment, he wouldn't blame him. Then again, maybe he was with Ori.

Just as he crossed over the driveway preparing to text Ori, he noticed a trail of dirt leading through the open gate to Kili's backyard. 

Fili's heart sank following the trail to find what he'd both hoped and feared. 

There in the middle of the backyard, soaking wet, covered in mud, Kili sat surrounded by more of the colorful dead flowers. 

The worried neighbor rushed to his friend, heart pounding as he dropped to his knees on the sodden grass before him, and brushed the matted wet hair from Kili's dirt smudged face to find those once child-like, sparkling dark eyes swollen and red with a look of despair. 

"Kili? Are you alright?" Besides the obvious, Fili worried his friend may have hurt himself somehow, but after a quick assessment he seemed unscathed. "You loved those flowers, why did you do that? And why did you do that to Frerin's truck? Is this all because I didn't come over to fix that crack?" 

Shaking from the cold, the distraught young man held his knees close to his chest, and lifted his eyes to meet the blond's sincere blue eyes filled with shame and regret.

"You lied to me." Kili's voice broke, raspy from a long, cold night in the rain.

Knowing what a fragile soul Kili was made Fili feel so small, but it was an honest mistake forgetting what he'd promised. 

"I'm sorry I forgot." 

"Y-You...promised." Kili stuttered, shivering even harder now as Fili's warm hand laid upon his shoulder. 

"Kili, I've been so very busy lately, I forgot I had promised to fix your ceiling this weekend, but I swear I'll do it today. I'll clear my plans and do whatever you need me to, okay?" 

"You lied to me." 

"Kee, I just told you I seriously forgot, and I'm very sorry! Please forgive me." 

"You had time for Frerin." Kili's eyes squeezed tightly closed as his brows knitted together with hurtful memories of what he'd seen, and the lies he'd been told. "You told me you loved me, but I saw you with him. I saw Frerin k-kiss you." 

What? "When did I? How did you?..." Fili was thoroughly confused, but more concerned about Kili possibly catching pneumonia as his friend shook violently, and coughed. "Come on, let's get you inside, and out of these wet clothes. We can talk about this later." 

On the verge of hypothermia, Kili struggled stiffly to get up from where he sat all night, but with Fili's help, they made it inside to the warm kitchen where the brunet began peeling off his filthy, wet clothes, leaving them where they dropped on floor on his way upstairs.

"There you go." Fili fussed over his younger friend like a mother hen, helping him to the bathroom with fresh towels and washcloths, anything he needed. "Take a nice long, relaxing shower, and I'll bring you some warm clothes, and make you some hot tea." 

Satisfied to hear the sound of the shower water running, Fili rummaged through dresser drawers to gather some comfortable, clean clothes for his friend, slipping them into the bathroom before he hurried off to the kitchen to put a kettle of water on the stove, and to clean up the dirty, wet clothes and floor.

While waiting for the water to warm, Fili looked out the kitchen window at the mess of mud strewn about the side yard. His shoulders slumped, feeling miserably wracked with guilt, yet still baffled. _'How did he see Frerin kiss me? Is that why he took his frustration out on Frerin's truck? Oh my god, he was jealous! And I know I never told him I loved him! I would never lead him on that way knowing I never wanted to start a relationship with him!'_

The kettle whistled, but Kili's shower was far from over. Fili made a tray to bring the tea to Kili's bedroom, and sat it on one of the dressers, then decided to check out the crack in the ceiling again.

Assessing the damage was a little tough to see in the dim bedroom lighting from inside and out on such a dreary morning. A medium sized bookshelf also sat in the way with a bucket on top. This would have to be moved. He'd do that later when he was ready to use the stepstool to get a closer look. For now he'd just sit here on the bed, and read a little of Kili's book while he wait. 

* 

Watching the dirt swirl in the water disappearing down the drain, long wet curls draped his face as Kili leaned his forehead against the cool tiles of the shower, letting the warm water soothe him both mentally and physically washing away not only dirt, but memories of lovers that used him leaving emotional scars he kept hidden behind joyful smiles from strangers. 

There's no room for jealousy in a relationship, and it was a feeling he'd never felt before. It was hurtful, and painful to watch Fili in Frerin's arms receiving the love he wished his friend had for him. Sharing someone he loved with others on _his_ terms was different from this. This thing called jealousy felt like his heart had been stripped from his chest. He didn't like it, and never wanted to feel it again. 

_'Why can't you give me a chance, Fili? He doesn't understand you like I do! I would be so good to you!'_

Once he was feeling better and his hair was dried, Kili donned his fresh briefs, pajama bottoms, and soft t-shirt, and crawled into bed where Fili waited patiently with his makeshift tea service on a cookie sheet. 

"It's not fancy, but it'll do." 

A gracious smile tugged at Kili's lips seeing how his friend tried to make a decent presentation out of whatever he could find in the kitchen. "Thanks, Fee." 

Fili was relieved to coax a tiny smile from his friend. "Feeling better?"

Taking a sip from the tea cup, Kili nodded. Under any other circumstances, this would be a very delightful shared moment, but he knew he was about to be thoroughly questioned, and rightfully so. Best he take the lead before he felt overwhelmed by anything Fili could throw at him. 

"Sorry about Frerin's truck. I know it was a stupid, childish thing to do." Those poor defenseless flowers, Kili's 'babies' destroyed by the one that loved them most in a fit of rage because he didn't care about them as he didn't care about anything anymore. Maybe it was a cry for help. 

"Your beautiful flowers though..." 

"Frerin doesn't understand you like I do." Tears begun to surface again, but he choked them back. "I need someone to care for that will love me the same. I want to take care of you! Why can't you give me a chance? I'm not like your other lovers!" 

After his behavior last night, Fili wasn't so sure about that, and piecing together what he thought happened, he was positive Kili was exactly like his past lovers, and couldn't handle a relationship with him. 

"Jealousy has no place in a relationship with me. That is what destroyed every single relationship I ever had. I can't tolerate it. What you did last night proved how jealous you can be, Kili." 

"You don't get it, do you? I've _never_ been jealous before in my life, until I saw you with Frerin! It's just _him_ that I'm jealous of! Because you told me you love him! He doesn't deserve you! You told me you love me too! Why can't you give me a chance?" 

There it was again. _'When did I?'_ "When did I ever say I loved you? I'm sure I've never said that because I've tried to make you understand we can't be more than friends. I've told you repeatedly that I need you to be my friend, and that is all!" 

"Just the other night when you were drunk. When I took you home from the pub. You said you love Frerin, and you love me too much. I didn't understand, but you explained you're afraid I'd leave you. I swear I'd never leave you! I trust you!" Fili's snicker sent a jolt of righteousness through Kili. "Arrogance! You're as fucked up as I am, you know that?" 

Fili didn't like confrontation, and needed to busy himself while they talked, so he got up to move the bookshelf. 

_'Yes, you're right. Maybe I am!'_ "I've apologized to you about having sex with you when I realized you didn't understand what a one night stand was! I've told you I need a friend more than a lover, and I'm afraid to lose you! I don't remember what I said the other night, but...hearing it now, I admit I've been in denial, and I know I've kept my feelings for you at bay because I don't want a relationship to ruin our friendship as I know for a fact it would. I obviously can't control myself around you when I'm drunk, but when I'm sober, I've tried to look out for you as if you were my little brother instead. As for Frerin, you said you saw him kiss me...how?" 

Just as the wound up, strong, little bodybuilder hoisted the shelf out of the way, a couple photo albums fell from the shelf scattering a few photos across the bedroom floor.

Kili readily set the tea tray on the nightstand, and nervously bolted across the bed on his knees. "I'll get it!" He demanded, but it was too late. 

Carefully, Fili tried to scoop up the albums and photos when he noticed something familiar about a couple of the grainy black and white photos. After sitting the albums down, on inspection of one of the photos, his jaw clenched. 

The shocked blond looked toward the window, then locked eyes with the panicked photographer kneeling on edge of the bed, frozen in place knowing his dirty little secret was no more. His brown eyes widened with fear how Fili was going to react to his find. 

"Fee, I can explain!"

"When did you take this?" Fili gripped the photo tight, and went straight to the window to see the view from there. 

"When you first moved in." Ashamed, Kili paled with the admission, feeling hollow. If how he'd behaved last night hadn't made his friend think he was crazy, surely Fili wouldn't want anything to do with this stalker/voyeur now. 

Fili stared out the window at his own house, and asked, "What did you see last night, Kili?"

It was just as painful to say, as it was to witness. "I saw you falling in love with Frerin again." 

Stepping away from the window, Fili shuffled through more of the loose photos, and flipped through the album seeing more photos of himself as well as much older photos Kili had taken of other people through windows, from a distances, or private unsuspecting places. Some of them were just beautiful people taken in artistic ways, others were obviously unsolicited nudes, and some were of people engaged in various sex acts. 

"You didn't see everything, and what you did see wasn't what you thought." In a quick personality assessment, Fili was ironically turned-on by this revelation admiring how he looked through Kili's camera lens. "Interesting."

As the blond tossed the photo on top of the others, stepping closer to him, Kili felt the tables had turned, and he was the one that should be worried his friend had gone mad. A devilish smirk begun to grow as Fili bit his bottom lip to keep from smiling. 

"You're a freak like me."

"Wh-What do you mean?"

"You like to _watch_..." With a few more steps, Fili was standing so very close Kili shivered as if he were still outside in the cold. "...I like to be watched. And from what you told me about your past, I'd say you sorta like being watched too."

Fili backed off to let Kili settle back onto bed while he straightened up the mess he'd made of the photo albums. If all this is true, maybe there was hope for them as an odd couple that could balance each other.

"That kiss you saw was closure for Frerin and I. I've been needing that for a long time. True, I'll always love Frerin because we had something very special together, but I knew it was over the day he kicked me out. I just needed to know for sure so I could get over him, and move on."

"But he spent the night with you, I thought..."

Fili shook his head. "Because of the storms he stayed, and we worked on my bathroom late into the night. He slept on the couch." 

Swallowing hard the mistake he'd made without knowing the facts because he spied on his neighbor felt uncomfortably stuck in his throat. "I-I'm sorry, Fee." 

"No. No reason to be sorry about how you felt, knowing what you thought, though you shouldn't have been watching us at all. You're obsession is a bit unnerving." Personally, Fili felt he had much to think about, but two things were certain. "You need help, Kee."

"I know." He'd know it for years refusing his uncle's offer to help. 

"But you're not the only one." The blond took a deep cleansing breath. "We're both a little mad here, aren't we? In an odd way we balance each other. Our strengths and weaknesses." 

_'Maybe there is hope for us after all.'_ Kili left that thought with a slight grin, and a nod. 

The two didn't talk much about anything after that while the handyman repaired the ceiling crack. He made sure his friend was feeling better, and had all he needed before he left that evening to get some needed rest.

*

At a late hour, the text notification chime woke the older man from his pleasant dreams. Releasing his husband to reach for his cell on the nightstand, he read the text. 

A quiet chuckle had his little curly haired husband stirring awake, "What is it, Thorin?"

"Kili. He agreed to come with us on holiday next week." Thorin's heart lifted in spirits as he gave Bilbo a quick kiss. "He's needed this for so long."

"Brilliant!" Bilbo clapped his hands together in celebration just as elated with the news. "He needs to know some of his family loves him very much, and cares about him. Your brother has surely been rolling in his grave all these years over how his wife treated their son! Did Óin say for sure he'd be there?" 

"Yes, he'll be there with the rest of the family. Kili will finally get the help he needs, and we'll all be home by Christmas."

~*~

Fili promised to take care of his neighbor's house while he was away, and wished Kili well as his friend waved goodbye at the airport leaving with his Uncles Thorin and Bilbo. It was a bittersweet parting. 

They would both be receiving the professional help they needed, and Fili would have plenty of time to truly sort out his feelings with hopes when Kili returned they would both know for sure where they stood with themselves, and each other. Until then though, he would miss his friend's company through the long chilly autumn months ahead. 

For now, they'd make do with limited Skype sessions once a week, and maybe a few text to say 'have a great day' now and then wouldn't hurt just to keep in touch. 

~*~

As Halloween rolled around, Bard insisted Fili come to Lindir's party. They hadn't spent much time outside of working construction jobs together for months, and Bard knew his best friend couldn't resist a good party. Especially now, how Fili had been feeling so lonely without him and Kili around these days. 

Swaying to the music, standing in the middle of Lindir's kitchen, drinking his third, no, fourth zombie cocktail, he was pretty lit when a sexy little pirate girl shoved her hand in his face.

"Look, Fili!"

The blond staggered back trying to focus on what he was supposed to see on Sara's finger. He laughed until he snorted trying to shake the hand of the tall, handsome Jack Sparrow standing beside his girlfriend.

"Congrats! When's the party?"

"This Christmas!" The lovebirds chirped in sync.

Before Bard knew it, his friend had his free arm wrapped around his neck to kiss him square on the lips. "I'm your best man, right?!" Sara squealed and broke into laughter. Giving Fili a hug, Bard wouldn't have it any other way.

*

The night was long with loads of fun and laughter, but as the party began to wind down, nursing a glass of water, Fili leaned against the family room wall watching couples, feeling more alone than ever. A few people tried to talk him into bed upstairs throughout the night, but he was not only too drunk, he honestly wasn't feeling it as he opened the pictures on his phone to see Kili's smiling face. 

Scarlett and Saige were cuddled together in an oversized chair, and of course, Bard and Sara couldn't keep their hands off each other. Seems as though even Ori had found love with the club's bouncer, Dwalin. That explained why the little ginger had been spending so much time at his cousin's strip club lately. 

Nori made a late appearance at the party more on a business note than for personal pleasure, making a beeline for Fili seeing him first of those he wanted to speak with. 

The intoxicated blond sat down on the floor, and ripped open the envelope, then stared at his boss with bloodshot eyes. "I can't read it...wazz it say?"

With a congratulatory slap on the back, Nori cheered, "You made the big time, kid! You're going on tour after the first of the year!"

Squinting at the hyper, skinny man, nothing made sense right now, and all he would remember in the morning was the ringing in his ears right before he fell asleep alone in the middle of the family room floor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments, kudos, and stopping by to read!!!


	19. When Tables Are Turned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili knows what he wants now, but gets a taste of his own medicine when Kili rejects his invitation to be his date for Bard's wedding, but let's just say Kili has a change of heart ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to post! It turned out much longer than expected, so yeah...I broke it into two chapters again.

On a crisp clear autumn evening, Kili stepped outside his family’s lavish, mountain home to join Bilbo and Thorin seated together on the elegant outdoor sofa near the warm flames of the fire pit. Bundled up in a fine knitted scarf and fingerless gloves Ori had made for him, he offered his uncles some hot chocolate from the small tray he held.

“Everyone’s gone to bed. Is it alright for me to join you guys?”

“Absolutely!” Readily making room for Kili, Bilbo scooted away from Thorin, and patted the seat cushion between them. “Come sit here with us like you did when you were little!”

The roll of Kili’s eyes added to illusion of the child who loved to snuggle between his uncles before bedtime as he did so many years ago. 

“Did you two have fun Christmas shopping in town today?” Thorin squeezed his nephew’s shoulder affectionately, whispering a burning question in his ear, “What did Bilbo get me?”

Taking a sip from his mug, Kili side-eyed his uncle. "I got Fili a gardening book, a nice sweater, and a bottle of his favorite wine."

"Fili will love your gifts, I'm sure. We'll be going home next week. I bet he misses you." Thorin became suddenly confused when Bilbo shot him a look, and Kili's content smile faded. "What? What'd I say?"

"He hasn't text me at all this week. He hasn't even replied to the few text I sent him. I probably said the wrong thing, and he probably hates me or something." Kili had already confided in Bilbo during their shopping trip when his uncle noticed him checking his phone quite often throughout the day. 

Bilbo stroked his nephew's hair reassuringly. "No one could hate you, Kee. I told you, he's probably very busy with work, and Bard's wedding. I thought you were going to stop thinking the worst over such matters."

"You're right. I shouldn't worry, and it shouldn't matter to me. He said we're only friends, and that's all he wants us to be, so...that's how it's going to be. That's what's best for me now anyway. I won't push him anymore. I won't force myself on anyone again, and it's okay for me to say no to people too." 

Bilbo heard the words, but Kili's tone told another story. There was still a smidge of self-doubt, though he had come a long way with their cousin, Óin's help over the past few months. It took years for his self-esteem to become so damaged, it would take longer than a few months to heal. 

"I don't think I'm going to Bard's wedding." 

Just as concerned for Kili's feelings, Thorin's curiosity piqued. "Why not?" 

"Even as friends, Fili hasn't asked me to go with him. He's probably already asked someone else."

Bilbo refused to let their nephew fall into his old pattern of thinking. "You don't know that, and he'll most likely be busy with the wedding party anyway, but when he's free, he could join you at the reception."

"I don't want him to feel obligated."

"Nonsense! Fili's your friend! I think you should go, and have fun! Besides, if you go alone it would give you a chance to mingle with the other guests as well." The curly haired uncle looked to his husband for help in which Thorin had nothing more to add feeling Bilbo had said all that could be said. After all, Kili was a grown man, and would be on his own again when they returned. 

Tipping his head to lean against Thorin, Kili quietly mumbled, "We'll see."

~*~

The day of Bard's wedding, Fili took extra care to preen himself not only to look his best for the occasion, but he was looking forward to seeing Kili again for the first time in three months. There was much to be nervous and excited about today. 

Staring at himself in the mirror, he buttoned up his vest, slipped on the black tuxedo jacket, and draped the royal red tie around his neck. With a nod of approval, it was time to cross the lawn lightly covered in freshly fallen snow to visit his neighbor before heading off for a wedding photo shoot. 

Kili whipped open the front door, excited to see Fili again, but reigned in his overzealous personality to greet his friend tentatively. 

“Hey, Fee! Good to see you again.” 

Fili relished the warm greeting, and beautiful smile he’d missed so much.

“Very good to see you again too, Kee. You look great!” 

Indeed he thought Kili looked healthier than ever, and was relieved to see the sparkle in his big brown eyes again like the glint off the new fallen snow in the late morning sun. Even dressed in a ratty tee and sweats, and silky dark curls gone awry, Fili's heart beat a little faster seeing his sexy friend in a different light. 

“I just rolled out of bed, so thanks! You clean up pretty good yourself.” Kili teased.

Ready to meet the wedding party at the local park for photos, his first assignment as Bard’s best man, Fili looked dashing in his black tuxedo, every curl in place as was his long braids including his moustache braid. The only thing that wasn’t in place yet was the tie hanging loosely around his collar.

"Think you could help me with this?" Fili jiggled one end of his tie hoping Kili was better at tying it properly than he was as he stepped inside from the chilly air, and closed the door behind him. 

The brunet wet his lips taking the red silk material in his hands beginning to work in silence, lifting his eyes ever so often to see how he was being watched. Fili stood perfectly still, studying his friend's perfect and imperfect facial features that made him so exotically seductive. Something about the closeness, the movement of tying the tie made them both breathe a little heavier until Kili took a slight step back. 

“Thank you." Fili's eyes were drawn to the nervous way Kili worried his lower lip. God how he wanted to kiss him. "I’m glad you made it home in time for Bard’s wedding. I can pick you up around 6:30…”

“I'm not going.” Kili was satisfied to know his friend hadn't asked someone else and wanted them to go together, but he'd already made up his mind. 

“What do you mean, you’re not going? I thought you were going to be my date for the reception.”

Kili shook his head. “Date? You never asked me, and I figured you already planned on taking someone else. You never even replied to any of my texts in over two weeks, and you knew I was coming home."

Fili felt horrible for ignoring his friend's texts, but he had a reason for doing so. “I'm sorry about that. I've been extremely busy, and I wanted to tell you about everything that's been going on in person when we had time together tonight. Kili, I wouldn't want to take anyone else but you. Seriously, I’m sorry, I…I just assumed…” 

"You assumed? You assumed I'd jump at the chance to go somewhere with you?" Seeing the shocked, disappointed look on Fili's face, Kili held to his convictions. "I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to go anywhere with you as a couple because we're not.”

“Oh.” Taken aback, Fili wasn’t prepared for his friend's response. "It's not like that at all, Kee."

“We’re just friends…remember? That’s what _you_ wanted. I care enough about you to accept being just friends, if it means keeping you in my life without acting like an obsessive lunatic.”

"Well, then... _could_ we at least go together as friends?" Fili couldn't fathom what was happening between them. He never meant to offend Kili in anyway assuming he would want to be his date. He had previously been his shadow, wanting to be with him always. Being rejected in general was somewhat foreign to Fili, and it hurt. Not as much as a breakup, but nonetheless he had developed true feelings for Kili, and this rejection really stung. 

Put on the spot, Kili waivered. He wanted to give in. Seeing Fili again, he wished more than anything to go with him, but felt the need to stand his ground, afraid as much as he trusted his friend, he didn't want to be used like he had been by so many others in his past. "No. I just got home last night, and I'm still really tired. I should stay home to rest. Could you give Bard and Sara my regards?" 

"Sure." Fili was obviously disappointed, but he wouldn't push Kili to do anything he didn't want to do. "I was hoping to spend some time with you at the reception tonight. I couldn't wait for you to get home, I have so much to tell you, and..." 

Remaining stone-faced, Kili stifled a grin. He'd never turned down anyone's invitation before. It felt liberating, and though he could visibly see Fili's awkwardness, he still wouldn't give in no matter how much he wanted to. 

"Well...maybe if you have time tomorrow we can get together." So that was that. Fili wouldn't push him. "I'd really like to see you tonight though. I hope you'll change your mind." The blond opened the door, and stepped back outside into the cold. "Welcome home, Kee." 

After the door closed, Kili's heart sunk. The victory high he'd felt for a moment, didn't last. It felt awful to disappoint someone he cared about. Fili had never lied to him, and now he wished he knew what it was his friend wanted to tell him that seemed so important. 

~*~

Lost in the dreamy love song, Fili took a deep breath watching the happy newlyweds gracefully dancing, twirling about the reception hall dance floor. Thrilled beyond words for his best friend, he felt an empty sadness tugging at his heart. He never missed Kili more than he did right now. 

_'What if Kili doesn't care for me like he did? How stupid I’ve been to deny myself to take a chance on someone who clearly wanted nothing more than to make me happy! I royally fucked up this time, didn’t I?’_

Dwalin and Ori were standing just inside the doors to the elegant reception hall when Kili entered, surprising his best friend by tapping him on the shoulder. 

"Kili!" Ori instinctively hugged his friend in a tight squeeze. "You're home! I'm so glad you're back! I missed you!" 

"I missed you too!" Honestly, Kili missed Ori something awful, squeezing him back. The few texts they sent while he was gone could never replaced the bond they had working together, being able to share every detail of their lives on an almost daily basis. "Hey, Dwalin!" 

The club bouncer shook the brunet's hand firmly. "Good to see you again! I know someone else that'll be happy to see ya." 

It took a moment for Kili to realize who Dwalin spoke of. Seeing the mischievous look Ori shared, the little ginger pointed in Fili's direction, and added, "He's been Mister Broody-Pants all night. Pouting that you weren't here, I'm sure." 

"You know this?" Kili's head tipped curiously at his friend, wondering what else he might know. 

After a sly wink from Ori, Kili knew what he must do with confidence. 

Slipping up behind Fili sitting all alone at one of the reception tables while everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves on the dance floor, Kili just stood there. For couple of minutes, he watched the blond slouch in his seat, shifting uncomfortably now and then with a sigh, people-watching, nursing the mixed drink in his hand. 

“May I have this dance?” 

Fili was about to wave-off the man with the deep voice unrecognized, subtly mixed with the music filling the room, but spun around in his chair when he did a double-take seeing none other than Kili standing behind him wearing an adorable subtle grin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments, kudos, and stopping by to read!!!


	20. Mending Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili gets a chance to tell Kili how he feels about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally The End!!!! One more song by Zayn to give feels for this last chapter, possibly the song they dance to, and or? - 'Pillowtalk'

“Kili! Glad you decided to come.”

“Then dance with me, please?” Kili faired well hiding his nervousness when Fili took his offered hand. 

Onto the dance floor mixing with the other couples Kili took the lead with confidence as they danced, swaying to the slow song. “I’m sorry I was so cold to you this morning. I've learned how to say no to people. I guess I still need to know when it’s okay to say yes.”

“No, need to apologize. I understand, and you were right to turn me down. I should be the one to apologize. I was a presumptuous prick assuming you’d want to come with me. I should've invited you weeks ago. And I'm sorry I never replied to your texts, but I was very busy. Which is what I wanted to talk to you about. I have something I need to tell you, and I didn't want to talk about it through text.” 

Because nothing good ever came of someone saying they needed to talk about something seemingly important, Kili's confidence began ebbing away with negative thoughts, hanging on Fili's every word. 

"I made the tour for the male revue! I didn't text you because I was on the road with the company to see how things work, and even got to perform the last night I was with them because...I'm leaving in January." 

Kili's fixed gaze was hard to read, and only he knew how his heart was sinking. He just got home, and Fili would be leaving in a few weeks. 

"Working as a professional dancer is everything I've worked so hard for, and performing with those guys was everything I'd dreamt it would be! But going back to my hotel room every night after the high of a show wore off, I'd get so lonely. I don't like being alone, Kee." 

Suddenly the air felt thick, Kili didn't want to hear his friend confess he had slept with someone, or worse, but he feigned a slight grin for show. 

"While you were gone, you weren't the only one getting counseling. I've had a lot of time to reflect on my life, and think about what I want. Seeing how happy Bard and Sara were made me think about what's important to me." 

Kili felt his throat tightening like someone had sucked the air out of the room, but they kept swaying to the love song. This was all wrong. Fili was his friend, and he should be happy for him, but that horrible sense of jealousy was seeping back into his veins. Focusing on conversations he'd had with Óin, he was able to regain a positive attitude. Yes, he would support Fili no matter what. 

More nervous than ever, Fili wanted this moment to be special, and memorable because he hoped it would be the last time to put himself out there this way. “About how much I want and need someone special to come home to every night.”

 _'Someone special?'_ Kili lost it and began spiraling, wishing he could ignore the sappy love song mocking him. How could he be happy for Fili when his heart felt so heavy with loss. His eyes lowered, afraid to hear anymore of what Fili had to say. "You met someone!" He needed air, but when he tried to back away, Fili's arms already wrapped around his waist tightened to keep him from pulling away, then moved themselves off the dance floor for a bit of privacy.

“Kili, no! And _yes!_ " Fili tried in vane to get Kili to look at him, but he kept looking around to avoid his gaze. "I realize now how wrong I was. I gave up too soon. I...I’m willing to give love another chance. I’m willing to risk my heart one more time because I think _you’re_ worth it. If you’ll have me, that is.” 

Stunned by the words he thought he'd never hear, with a quiet gasp Kili's eyes shot up, searching for sincerity. 

Though he'd thought it through for months, for a fleeting moment Fili feared what he was doing, but had to let go and believe in Kili as he placed his fragile heart in the hands of the one he felt could love him forever with the same intense love he had to offer knowing Kili was just as fragile. 

"I love you, Kili." The heartfelt words fell off his lips so naturally, it felt so right Fili hoped he hadn't missed or ruined any opportunity for them to be together. 

Though still tentative, hoping he wasn't dreaming, Kili was overwhelmed with joy. "You _love_ me? You're serious?" 

Pursing his lips together in a blissful grin, Fili nodded, and affectionately thumbed over Kili's cheek. Bringing their foreheads together, he spoke from the heart, "Very. I've never been more serious. I want this to be forever. I'll do whatever it takes to make this work between us, if it's what you want too." 

Fili's words were the sweetest music to Kili's ears. This time it wasn't lust he felt for the stripper, but true love for his friend that filled his heart like he'd never felt before because he trusted this man holding him in his arms, who took the time to learn how to handle him with such patience, kindness, and understanding. Elation washed over him as they kissed, but he couldn't forget the first thing he'd been told. 

"Yes! Yes, I love you too, Fili, but you'll be leaving in a few weeks, and I..." 

"I want you to come with me! I didn't know what would happen between us when you got home, so I only signed a three month contract. Because I hoped you'd say you loved me too, and I want to be with you as much as possible. It would be unfair of me to ask you to come on the tour with me for a full year, so I hoped even if you decide you didn't want to go with me for the whole three months, or at all, we wouldn't be away from each other long." 

Their eyes locked while Kili thought it over listening to what more Fili had to say on the matter. Kili agreed to go on tour with him, not because he thought it was what Fili wanted, but because it was what _he_ wanted. He wanted more than anything to share every aspect of Fili's life. 

"Come home with me."

Fili didn't have to ask twice. They congratulated Bard and Sara, wishing them their best, and hurried on their way with only one thing on their minds. 

~

Soon they were at home stumbling up the stairs to Fili's bedroom, sharing hot, messy kisses, unable to keep their hands to themselves as they toed off their shoes and socks, and pulled off their suit jackets and vests. 

Stripping out of the rest of his clothes, Kili kicked them aside, and crawled onto the bed almost before Fili could even get his tie untied. 

Watching Kili kneeling on the bed already stroking himself, Fili smirked, "Somebody's eager." 

"Dance for me." The sultry look Kili gave his man, biting his bottom lip made Fili's cock pulse with want for his dark haired vixen. 

"I charge a lot of money for a private show...but free for you..." Teasing right back, Fili brushed himself right up against his lover, tipped his head leaning in for a kiss then stopped to ghost his request along the shell of Kili's ear, "Only if you photograph me while I strip for you." 

The suggestion made Kili shiver, closing his eyes he breathed out, "Yeeessss! Do you have a camera?" 

Fili made haste to pull a digital camera from a dresser drawer, and toss it to Kili. Then he used his phone to activate a blue tooth speaker to play one of his favorite songs to do a slow strip tease to. 

The photographer immediately aroused himself taking photos, watching the professional dancer begin moving seductively to the rhythm of the music. One by one, each small button of his dress shirt came undone as he danced with fluid graceful movements until it hung open to expose his taut, tan chest and abs. 

The clicking of the camera shutter continued to fuel Fili's desire to seduce the photographer through the lens. Turning away from Kili, he looked back as the shirt slowly slid from beneath a cascade of long silky curls, off his broad shoulders to reveal his strong back muscles, slipping gracefully down his cut, tattooed arms, falling to the floor. 

Kili swallowed thickly, _'Fuck, that's hot, he's so beautiful!'_

His lips parted to find air when Fili moved closer to him to take the camera away from him, and guided his hands to help him undo his trousers letting them drop. The brunet couldn't take his eyes off the stripper's obvious hard-on outlined through his tight briefs begging to be exposed. 

Wetting his lips, Fili's chest heaved knowing what Kili wanted, and he wanted it too. "Remember your private dance at the club?" 

Being so close to what he desired, remembering Fili's cologne, remembering this moment of Fili's routine, Kili nodded, and pressed his face into the stripper's groin, licking his erection through the material. "I want you, Fili" He slowly peeled the cloth down to lick the velvety skin, and kiss the head of his dick before sucking it into his mouth. 

Burying lustful desires, Fili lifted Kili's chin to look into his alluring eyes just before he sweetly placed a soft kiss on his lips. "I want to make love to you, Kili." 

Lust had all but disappeared because it seemed they mutually understood the gravity of the moment. Neither one wanted this moment be a quick fuck. This time it was about _love_ , and they wished for their first time together as new lovers to reflect the way they felt for the other in a meaningful, pleasurable way. 

What words could not say, every sound they made, and every touch was understood as Kili moved to lie down on the bed with Fili crawling over him. 

With a shared sensual kiss, and love unspoken in their eyes, Fili hovered over Kili drinking in his enchantingly bold, beautiful features before he ran his fingers through the fine dark hair covering Kili's chest, slowing drifting down his belly that quivered beneath a feather light touch. Kili kneaded the sheet with one hand, keeping the other hand buried in soft, thick curls, humming with anticipation. 

Gentle kisses trailed after his finger tips following the same path, stopping only to flick over harden, sensitive nipples, and to ghost over the dip of Kili's navel as Fili worked his way down to a twitching cock waiting to feel the tip of his tongue teasing for a taste. Kili's cock was already so hard, and knowing the glistening wetness pooling there in the slit was all for him because of how his deft touch made his lover feel, made his own thick erection begin to bead with precome.

Aroused just enough, Fili worked quickly to cover his stiff length with protection, and drizzle lube over his fingers. He resumed his position as the brunet lost his fingers in waves of gold between his thighs, and squirmed with delight feeling the tickle of Fili's braided moustache and beard gently grazing his balls as the blond nuzzled him there to breath in his unique musky scent. While slicking Kili's entrance, Fili toyed with his dusky hole, ignoring his lovers pleas for more. 

Licking up the thick vein to finally allow himself the pleasure of tasting Kili, Fili dipped the tip of his tongue into the slit. "Mmm, so good, Kee..." He hummed taking his long cock into his mouth, carefully slipping his well lubed finger deeper into him, patiently taking his time to add a second, then a third. 

Kili groaned with pleasure letting Fili prepare him properly, blissfully enjoying the moist warmth of the blond's mouth, and his tongue swirling around his throbbing cock. Briefly, Fili took the liberty of massaging his lover's prostate, almost sending him over the edge. Kili arched his back to keep from bucking too deep into Fili's throat. "Damn, Fee!" 

Not wanting him to come yet, Fili stopped sucking, releasing his swollen cock from his lips, and quickly but carefully pulled his fingers out of him. "Sorry! Not yet" 

Kili whimpered over the loss, but soon rewarded Fili with a filthy moan feeling full and relieved to finally have his blond's thick cock penetrating him, stretching him even more with his legs hooked over his lover's arms allowing for himself to be spread wider. 

Moving slow to start, Fili's thrusts came faster the more Kili begged for it. He'd never felt like this before, owning Kili's body, feeling such love and bonding for the gorgeous man writhing with his own desire beneath him. Kili's fingers began digging into his skin the closer he came to completion, rolling his hips in sync with his partner's thrusts.

Fili angled himself to let Kili's slick erection slide between their bellies to help get him off. "Are you okay? Does this feel good?"

The brunet looked down to watch himself being fucked, then he looked back up into pools of crystal blue. Surely the man above him was an angel. "I'm great...never better..." 

The tattooed bodybuilder's long hair and braids draped about his face swayed as their bodies moved together in perfect rhythm. Kili was completely enthralled. No one ever asked if he was comfortable, or cared how he felt having sex before, but Fili's concern was genuine.

"Kiss me, Fee" 

Not wanting to break his rhythm, but wanting to grant Kili's wish, Fili leaned down to kiss him with some passion, but quickly pulled away feeling his orgasm building. 

"I love you, Kili"

Repositioning himself to reach between themselves, he grasped Kili's erection firmly, and pumped it vigorously until he had his ridiculously sexy man repeatedly cursing, shouting his name, panting, and groaning with ecstasy as his warm seed spurted across his stomach, dripping over Fili's hand. 

Fili swiped his tongue over the back of his fingers, and began taking care of himself, thrusting harder into Kili, picking up the pace until his body stiffened finding his release. His cock began pulsing and pulsing, spilling every last drop of his thick seed into him. "Fuck, Kili! Oh! Damn you're tight, it feel so fucking good!" 

Kili wrapped his arms around him as Fili's body shook, and trembled riding out his orgasm until he pulled out, and collapsed on the mattress next to him.

Once they caught their breath, they turned to lie facing each other. Fili tenderly brushed back a few wisps of Kili's hair to gaze into his big doe eyes beaming with love for him. He never thought anyone could fix his wounded heart, but somehow in the depths of these soulful eyes, Fili was sure he'd found true and lasting love. It was a risk, he was willing to take. 

"I love you so much, Kee. Don't ever leave me."

"Never! I love you, and promise whatever problems we might face, we'll always work it out together." 

Kili's adorable smile made Fili's dimples began to show as he drew him into his arms to hold him close. "Together." 

Together they could do anything. Remaining true to their commitment to make their relationship work, together they voluntarily met with a counselor for themselves as a couple as well as individuals too. 

~♡~

Together they went on the road with the national male revue, and sometimes Kili watched from the audience's perspective, and other times from backstage, secretly getting off on watching his man perform. Entertaining a room full of horny paying customers was part of the act, and knowing _he_ was the only one that hot, sexy blond dancer working the stage was taking home to his bed was satisfying. He eventually became so comfortable with Fili's job, sometimes he enjoyed an evening alone in the hotel room planning how he would welcome Fili 'home' from work. 

When Fili's contract was up, he admitted he'd had a good time, and fulfilled his dream, but having Kili in his life was all that really mattered now. In addition to his handyman business with Bard, the stripper was happy and content to only work the stage at Nori's place, and nothing more. No more private dances, and especially no private parties! 

Kili had been the one to tame him, and who would have guessed, the one to teach him how to _garden?_

Ori had bought Kili's house, so his friend could move in next door, slipping easily into his new life when they returned home. Bringing a lot of Kili's things into his home was a bit of a challenge for Fili trying to blend their different tastes in décor, but he would compromise. He fancied himself to be a domesticated kind of guy, with his love of cooking, and interior decorating, but Kili had much to teach him about the great outdoors. 

Spring had barely sprung, and the young men had been home just over a week, when Kili had Fili out in their backyard tilling their first garden, planting vegetable seeds. 

By early summer, the garden was coming along fine with little help from the gardening expert. 

On this particular day, Kili was lounging in his umbrella chair drinking his iced tea, and reading a new book, occasionally taking pictures of Fili when he wasn't looking while his man dripped with sweat, weeding the garden, baking in the hot afternoon sun.

Fili stopped working to lean on his hoe, and take a breather. He wiped his brow with his arm, and glared at his comfortable, sweat-free partner relaxing in his chair. 

"Kili? Are you going to do anything to help me today?"

Kili glanced up from his book, and looked over his shades. "Oh dear! I'm sorry! Let me get you something to drink!" 

When Kili returned with an ice cold glass of tea for his man, Fili tossed the hoe aside, and thanked him with a huff taking a long refreshing drink. Emptying the glass, he handed it back. 

"I know how you can cool off." The sassy brunet couldn't resist tugging at the blond's tee-shirt, and teasing, "It might make you feel better if you... **take it off**." 

Fili shot him a look, but burst into laughter when Kili added with a mischievous grin, "I know it'd make me feel better!"

"You're something else, Kee" Dirty hands whipped off his shirt, and grabbed his naughty boy pulling him against his sweaty body to plant a big, sloppy kiss on him. 

After his release, Kili panted from the unexpected move sparking another idea as he wiggled his eyebrows, "Why don't you strip for me right here, and we'll give the neighbors something to talk about." 

"You know I'm not shy..." Fili reached out and smacked Kili's ass. He smirked, and laughed as he began undoing his shorts, "Don't think I won't!" 

"Fili!" Kili practically squealed, running for the house only to be caught by the back door. 

Pressed against the house, Fili peppered him with salty, playful kisses; the two giggling like idiots. "Love you, baby!" 

With laughter in his eyes, and love in his heart, Kili had a sobering moment. "Thank you for coming into my life, Fee. I never knew love could make my heart feel so good." 

Kili's joyful, sweet smile was everything to Fili. He gave a nod, pulling his partner into a hug. It was Kili that healed his heart as well. 

Faith, understanding, and trust in each other brought them closer together in the years to come mending their stripped hearts with love. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed how this ended!  
> Honestly I can't thank you all enough for the great comments, the continued support, all the kudos, and everyone who came back time and time again to read, I appreciate you all very much!!!♡


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